DS punished for class prank

[upsideup]

DS1 is 9 and in year 5.
Last day of school, the teacher left the room for a couple of minutes and DS suggested that the class should all draw back circles on their foreheads and then act normal when she comes back in, he thought it would be a good halloween prank that she would find funny. Most of his class did it, I don’t know how many didn’t but it was only a few.

She didn’t find it funny which is fair enough, it’s not. They were asked whose idea it was and ds eventually owned up, he had to stay in a break to go and speak to the head teacher. I was phoned to be told what he did and that as the ringleader he will have to stay in every lunch time the first week back.
Obviously in the less than five minutes the teacher was gone ds wasn’t able to bully/force 20+ kids into doing it not that he would do that anyway, he mentioned it and they all decided it was a good idea to draw on their own foreheads.

AIBU to think it’s not really fair that he is the only one to get such a harsh punishment from this? And that everyone else who did the same thing is basically let off?

Are the people saying 'no harm done/hasn't harmed anyone' also people who'll claim students shouldn't get detentions because they were just talking or just didn't get on with their work etc because it didn't harm anyone?
Genuinely interested because I hate the phrase low level disruption. If it's disrupting learning then it's disrupting learning. 10 minutes of learning lost is 10 mins lots learning whether it's someone yelling across the room and throwing a chair or chatting to their mates. Sure one is a more serious action (which requires a bigger sanction) but both involve disrupting a class learning. I don't get why anyone would say it's fine to disrupt learning as long as it's the right child doing what they consider something small.

EVENTUALLY owned up? That's the bit my child would've been in most trouble with me for. Potentially letting someone else take the blame? No! that's not on.

Plus recruiting others to do it.

So I suspect the reasons are three-fold

A the initial idea
B encouraging others to do it
C NOT immediately owning up when asked.

I don't think it's a harsh punishment, I'd also be interested if he's done similar before and what punishment the others got (although that's actually not your business).

It's yet another case of parent not backing up school when THEIR child has messed up! Instead of focusing on the "unfairness" I'd suggest focusing on teaching your child how to behave appropriately at school and in particular teaching him to have some honesty and integrity.

Honestly if my child had done something like this AND been reluctant to own up she'd have been grounded that weekend.

"I do think its unfair that he's taking the punishment for 20 other kids though." You have absolutely no grounds for thinking this!

"They did it with whiteboard pens." OMG they're murder to wash off!

This is the first incident of bad behaviour like this that involved any other children so already had behaviour problems in the past? That weren't resolved very quickly and you wonder why the teacher wanted to make clear to him this was unacceptable? Sorry but the more you wrote the more I think you need to wise up, support the school and sort his attitude out!

School are ABSOLUTELY right to deal with it sooner rather than later.

They've come down harder because he is not learning NOT to behave badly and I'll wager it's partly because he's very much getting the sense from you (even if you're not verbalising it) that you aren't supporting the school and don't think that his behaviour is "that bad" except it is! And if it's not dealt with now it will get worse - and whatever you think about the school or what other people think of your son, the fact is if YOU don't deal with this YOU will be letting him down. Being taught to value education is hugely beneficial to your son, allowing him to continue to not take it seriously - would be doing him a massive disservice.

I'm not a teacher but have been in roles of authority with children and have dealt with children parents like this. They have to be dealt with a little bit tougher than others or else the behaviour escalates and by the time they're at high school point it's MUCH harder to rectify!

I'm highly sceptical of his "bad behaviour" earlier in the term being as mild as you describe.

Not a very harsh punishment. Never fails to amaze me the number of mnetters who are so quick to grumble when schools punish their children who have misbehaved. No wonder there are so many behaviour issues in schools.

Fairenuff
Why was the teacher out of the room for 5 minutes?

Yes lets ignore the behaviour of the child and spin it back on to the teacher.
firstly, this is a child's 5 minutes, the OP wasn't there, it could be any where from 30 seconds onwards.

Lets look at the reasons.
called out of the classroom
Trying to get her head back in the game because of what the OP's child is doing/has done
Having a cry/swearing under her breath and wondering why she became a teacher.

but hey lets blame the teacher.

And then thirty parents want to know why their child wasn't given a chance to clean marker off their head!

I certainly wouldn't blame the the teacher for this. I'd blame my ds for joining in silly pranks by choice. I'd also expect him to be punished alongside whoever decided to mention doing it.

I actually think it would have been fantastic if the teacher had pretended not to notice 😂😂

He was the ringleader so he gets the heaviest punishment . Back up the school and tell him not to be so silly in future . He won’t do it again , unless he’s a bit dim .

This has the ring of what I used to call "a sunshine moment" to it, as in "just one more thing, sunshine......" On your own admission, there is a back history of messing about from the start of term, and I suspect that, even now, you've only had the edited highlights.
Making a child miss lunch break is not a sanction I would too readily invoke, because it means the teacher is lumbered as well......but I've done it to make a point, incidentally making it clear to the detainee how fed up I was at missing my lunchtime to deal with silly little boys. A whole week for one silly prank would, indeed, be completely OTT.
Year 5, I often observed, can be the year when it stops being funny, and the more mature members of the class start to lose patience, and as the tide of public approbation ebbs away, the clowning can take on an air of slight desperation, probably a bit early in the school year just yet, but I still remember the stricken look on the face of one "comedian" when the boy sitting next to him sighed, gathered up his books and moved to a spare seat. Being ticked off by exasperated teacher was part of the funny "Bash Street Kids" script, being asked to shut up so they can get on with their work, not the wished for result.

Boney

Yes lets ignore the behaviour of the child and spin it back on to the teacher.

I didn't feel it necessary to add to the other 100+ messages berating the OP. Just to reassure you though, I do think her ds was in the wrong.

But the teacher was also wrong to leave the class unsupervised.

None of the reasons you gave would justify it.

If they had time to organise doing this stunt, getting pens, putting them back and sitting back in their seats quietly ready to surprise her, then it was obviously longer than 30 seconds. Something else could have happened. Someone could have slipped and cracked their head open.

Children misbehaving whilst unsupervised are in the wrong, yes. But so is the teacher that left them unsupervised. In my school the HT would be having serious words with them. It's basic safeguarding, you cannot deny that.

Fairenuff

Unless you absolutely know for certain why the teacher left the room then it is unreasonable to call "safeguarding".

And depending on the layout of the room 30 seconds could be all thats needed.

It doesn't matter why she left. She should not have done it. She should have sent a child to get another adult to supervise the children whilst she was out of the room. If you work in education you know this.

I agree with @Fairenuff tbh. The teacher must have been out of the room for a good few minutes for that prank to have been possible. I'm sorry but that's just asking for trouble with a classroom of 9 year olds, it certainly would have happened when I was at school.

None of this excuses the child at all, he deserves a consequence, but seriously, is anyone really surprised??? 

Maisy I agree with everything you’ve said. I really don’t understand some of the attitudes here

Fairenuff

And if you work in education sometimes you step outside the door to take a deep breath.

She could have been no further than the other side of the door. But fine call it safeguarding.

The children should still be in the line of sight at all times. She should not be standing in the corridor when she should be teaching. Especially as there is a child who is already known to be disruptive and challenging.

I do call it safeguarding.

I teach year 5. I would put money on this not being the first thing he has done.
It doesn’t actually matter what happened to the rest of the children, HE was the instigator and It wouldn’t have happened without him. To keep a whole class in order, the teacher has to work out who to keep on top of and your son sounds like he is it. I’m more concerned that your don’t seem to realise that he made a big mistake, not the prank itself but getting others to follow him.

^^ this x a million

The kids drew a circle on their foreheads - not a derogatory nor racist symbol, just a circle. Anyone with a sense of humour would have laughed Comments like this, as someone else said upthread, just show why there are such behavioural problems in schools. Of course it's not OK? Wtf?

If we've REALLY reached the point where a class of 9 year olds can't be left alone for 5 minutes and expected to behave and not do anything unsafe then we REALLY need to ask wtf has gone wrong with parenting and school discipline in this country!

That's utterly ridiculous!

Wow! They are kids, kids do silly things. Teacher could have said “How silly of you all, go and wash it off.” Move on. When I was a kid this wouldn’t have been given the time of day. Teachers were more interested in teaching

I think the teacher has over reacted, it was harmless and funny. But I guess that's what happens. Maybe the teacher is pranking him back?
I wouldn't punish him further, I don't think taking away their break time is ok, unless it's to stop bullying, kids need a break. Perhaps give him a few nights off homework that week (if he gets a lot) to relax instead.

I think it's OTT, but since your son is taking it well, let it go.
Ignore or bollock all who did it, imho. But just a scolding is appropriate.

I can't see anything disruptive in this event.

They would definitely ALL be told off in secondary.

I am afraid your son's history of poor behaviour is coming back to haunt him. Most likely if another child was the instigator of the prank, they would not be punished to the same level.

Your son has a history of disturbing lessons by not listening to instructions and asking for them to be repeated etc. How has his behaviour been in other years?

Your son and you need to accept his punishment and you need to have a chat with your son that he needs to forget about pranks etc as clearly the punishments are going to escalate.

If the OP was a parent at my school I could tell you which child it is. His mother thinks the sun shines out of him, that he is intelligent, gifted and a 'natural leader'. He thinks he's the funniest human being on the face of the planet. In actual fact he's rude, obnoxious, loud, disrespectful, disrupts the learning of other students, and really isn't very funny at all. Badly behaved students think he is great, well behaved students just think he is a tool. Knowing the high school he is going to, he's likely to be the first student on day one of high school to have his head flushed in the toilet, and he's going to be dropped down a few pegs very quickly.

Before you next see the teacher draw a black circle on your forehead

Yes do that and watch the phrase 'That explains a lot' go through the teachers mind.

This is madness! Why isn't it funny!!

Because it isn't to some people. I wouldn't laugh.

How about you back up the teacher!! I'm guessing this was not a one off!

Another vote for this not being the first time.

This is the punishment of a teacher who is constantly putting up with tings like this.

Oh and as for year five carrying on as if nothing had happened, have you met a class of year 9 kids?