to be extremely concerned about Facebook ASD/ ADHD support pages being used to encourage parents to assume their kids are transgender.

[taratill]

I am a member of the facebook support groups for ASD / ADHD parents over the last few months/ weeks there is an alarming rise in the number of parents asking for advice because their ASD child dresses as the opposite sex. This seems to be a particularly hot topic this week because of the programme on c5 'Butterfly'

Whilst some of responses are let them be there are an alarming number of references to Stonewall / Mermaids and encouraging them to consider children as young as 4 years old as transgender.

I just want to scream at my computer. The number of parents who truly believe that preventing puberty will help their children be 'who they are meant to be'!

My point is that this is happening and there is a vulnerable group of children who are being encouraged .

Any suggestion that the child should be left till after puberty is generally being berated as 'not understanding the child' and not being a good enough parent!

What on earth can be done to protect these (autistic and vulnerable) children from this move towards transitioning?

As adults they can do as they chose but I feel it is so very wrong that autistic children are being encouraged by members of their own community to be considered as trans rather than just being who they are when they don't fit gender stereotypes.

This article highlights the particular prevalence in the autistic community and the difficulties in determining whether they are transgender or not.

network.autism.org.uk/knowledge/insight-opinion/gender-dysphoria-and-autism-challenges-and-support?fbclid=IwAR34uv01Sbyrim0UAMXR6DMchYvitw2qWrL7XTGsRsZNUYCkYBi0f3olpac

How on earth can some balance be given to this? Of course some of these children may well want to live their adult lives as the opposite sex but some of them may not end up having a choice in the matter as adults are making life changing decisions for them now.

Well that is super depressing. Where do y'all go from thete?

Next stop repeal GRA then take on the 2010 HRA?

Bravo pay I salute you.

Are you an American teenager Bigotbut?

Your phraseology reads as such.

Well that is super depressing. Where do y'all go from thete? Next stop repeal GRA then take on the 2010 HRA

Some might but most won't, most people want balance and to be informed and to have discussion.
#no debate has fucked this whole thing up. People haven't had any of their fears addressed, there is no impartial information out there and no outlines of what's actually going to change.
If these were actually properly sorted before the consultation the reaction would have been different.

People aren't good and bad, it's not a simple situation is it.

Middle ground will be reached, but not with force, it'll be reached by those actually talking.

Well that is super depressing.

Why is most people being against a change in law which would mean that men could easily gain access to the legal rights and protections of women, 'depressing'?

Misgendering = correctly sexing

HTH

Nope. I am a 43 year old sn teacher with 3 kids, 2 with asc and a 16 yo who has recently transitioned. Also an asc husband. And until puberty i desperately wanted to be a boy - so assumed deeo down my eldest would grow out if it at some point.

Obviously i am intimidated by the knowledge on mn - so have used words like y'all and poop to make myself appear a little less threatening. And deep down hoping to find some rational support somewhere. Which i have - a couple of people have understood why i think all this campaigning has damaged womens rights.

My dd is asd and trust me, she knew her gender and no psychiatrist or health professional would persuade her otherwise - she preferred to wear trousers when she was young and liked "boys" activities but had a sense of self, nobody can ever persuade her to anything against her will (to the point it causes problems!)

I understand your concerns but I'm pretty sure it's a very small sample and no medical professional in the nhs will prescribe blockers without a lot of consultation (delaying puberty however could be for other reasons in asd, it's pretty full on!)

My brother's best mate has 'come out' recently, she lives with her grandparents and they've been horrible, and have basically threatened to throw her onto the street if she transitions.

This is a horrible situation for her and most people agree it's wrong to treat anybody like this.
There's a difference between being anti-trans and being antiself I'd.

This whole thing is going to cause innocent people like her trouble. A few TRAs and politicians with agendas have set respect towards transexuals back decades.

It's a worrying time.

I am on a couple of support pages that try and maintain balance / allow people to air a GC view. However what that means is that gender is rarely discussed there. Some pages become an echo chamber and I would leave those tbh.

Yes part of me wants to challenge it and fight for the rights of these kids but it’s so hard when parents are so dogmatic. It’s like ‘autism mom’ groups. Some people won’t listen.

It's not really the parents but the charity's pulling the strings.

You get the same with autism chairty's like autism speaks, which view autism as a illness which needs to be cured.

Mrskeats thank you. Much appreciated.

If you are told things by people who you think you can trust strangers will not change your mind.
Luckily with autism you don't have an agressive bunch of activist shutting down discussions.

Oh god - poor kid. I hope she's getting some support.

Of course decent people know this is wrong. Its a lot harder for us all to take responsibility for how we fuel it though and the long term repercussions it will gave for trans and women's rights. I just think the rights that some feminist groups have been fighting for - may be at the expense of others.

Anyway - i am off. Wanted to see what mn was up to as i've not been on for years. Done that - now off to actually be a mum rather than staring at my phone all the time.

Hope you work this out.

You may not see this now if you have gone but I am interested to know what sort of rights you are talking about here?

I just think the rights that some feminist groups have been fighting for - may be at the expense of others.

Ok, well I was diagnosed as autistic aged 40. I can remember as young as four liking being mistaken for a boy and doing stereotypically boy things and wearing my hair short and stereotypically boy's clothes.

Even in my 20s, I liked to think I had a male brain and that somehow this was better.

What 'cured' me? Joining a women's football club and discovering lesbians. Suddenly all clicked into place that I was bisexual but more importantly, that there were loads of women out there like me.

If I was a child now, I bet I'd be questioning my gender and identifying as trans.

I mentioned Jazz Jennings on the Facebook thread. A young autistic transidentifying person responded to say they have been told that hormone suppressants only ‘delay’ puberty like pressing a pause button and that even if it meant they could never orgasm they would rather take the suppressants and be ‘comfortable with themselves ‘ . This is where the work needs to be done and where the lack of mental health services are letting young people down. I am not saying that being trans is a mental health disorder but I am saying that muting your sexuality in order to be comfortable is really worrying .

When I was a kid in the 70s I was often mistaken for a boy and I liked playing with both 'girl's' and 'boy's' toys. My Pippa doll used to drive my digger in a frilly dress (I had my own mud patch in the garden for her to excavate). I used it to my advantage and I loved the freedom, and I still do, to be non stereotypical. But I never actually wanted to be a boy. My parents never made a deal of it. Since then toys and children's clothing has become more gender stereotyped than ever. I think this whole trans kids thing will eventually be recognised as Munchausen By Proxy.

There's an undercurrent of homophobia in it too I think.

I really did believe that being a boy was better than being a girl. And men were better than women. Massively internalised societal stereotypes and patriarchal beliefs I think.

A lot of kids are also looking for answers as to why they feel different. Being autistic or being LGB might prove to be a better fit than being 'born in the wrong body'.

At 4, your kid really isn't trans in my opinion. How on earth would they know at that age?

Someone in an ASD group I'm in is talking about starting a PhD about women with autism and is wondering how to categorise her target participants by gender.

Someone else is arguing that she could categorise by 'those with uteruses'.

Others are suggesting not to categorise by sex at all. Even though we all know that women with autism are under-researched and under diagnosed.

Is this really where we're at now.

I'm autistic and definitely not transgender. These people can fuck right off.

talking about starting a PhD about women with autism and is wondering how to categorise her target participants by gender

As if doing a PhD doesn't mess with your head enough

talking about starting a PhD about women with autism and is wondering how to categorise her target participants by gender

If she is wondering whether to use biological sex, legal gender or self-defined gender, I can see her quandary. Each choice is likely to get a slightly different pool of participants. It’s important to nail these things down so you have a very precise research question before you start collecting data.

If she genuinely doesn’t know how to define a woman, I’m not sure what to say 🤷‍♀️