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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Door salesman refusing to quote without DH present?

57 replies

Picnictime · 26/10/2018 09:03

Few years ago I was getting quotes for a new front door. One salesman did his pitch but point blank refused to quote without DH present and insisted on returning when he was available. At the time I was quite offended and obviously went elsewhere.

Talking to a friend, the exact same thing happened to her very recently. I'm not sure whether we somehow stumbled across the same salesman 5 years later.

Has anyone else had this happen? AIBU to think this wouldn't have happened to DH had he been getting the quotes?

OP posts:

Youvegotafriendinme · 26/10/2018 09:39

I’ve had this with crystal windows. We had the front of the house done with them and a year later invited them back to do the rear. When I called to book the quote, they would only come when DH was home. When I told them it wouldn’t matter if he was home or not as we know what we want and I’m paying. They refused so we went with someone else!

WorraLiberty · 26/10/2018 09:39

he then said a man needs to be there to make the decision

He used those exact words did he?

Really?

Chesterfieldsofa · 26/10/2018 09:44

We live on a farm, one day an unknown salesman knocked on the door at lunchtime and simply said 'is he in?'. I was having a bad day so called my dog to the door as he was the only male living in the household at the time. He tried to massively back track when he found that it was indeed me that he needed to speak with, no chance knobhead.

StealthNinjaMum · 26/10/2018 09:45

Lots of them do it - but in fairness lots of women (me included) will stall them by saying we need to speak to our husband so I guess they think lot of us are pretty downtrodden.

Stinkbomb · 26/10/2018 09:46

I have had this recently too - I said that my marital status had nothing to do with them and sent them away!

Confusedbeetle · 26/10/2018 09:47

This is a common tactic from double glazing companies

sunglasses123 · 26/10/2018 09:47

I am really not sure nowadays that someone would say a man needs to be there!

However I do understand why they want both members of the household. The decision can be made there and then. Makes the companies job much easier and as a PP said you cannot claim to have to speak to the other half. Of course there are ways of saying it.

In our house my DH really isn't interested in the detail. We need new curtains. Off you go and buy them. He will have a view if its for his den at home so I get a couple of samples and he glances and then just says yes to one and it happens! I go off, order, arrange delivery and fitting etc. Bit like the magic laundry basket..

Before anyone says anything... He does all the cooking, gardening etc. After so many years of marriage he has the things he is good at and so do I. Never the twain etc. Don't want to mention the time he touched 'my' washing machine and shrunk some of the my clothes by not sorting them first.

florafawna · 26/10/2018 09:48

He should lose your custom.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 26/10/2018 09:49

I’d just go ‘fine, won’t be using you then, goodbye’

AdoreTheBeach · 26/10/2018 09:51

I had this happen with Thomas Sanderson. I had cash too, ready to go with my order, knew exactly what I wanted. Bought elsewhere as my husband travelled during that time and wasn’t interested in his time being taken up uselessly by a salesman for something we knew we wanted. Their loss.

Original poster

Picnictime · 26/10/2018 09:51

Interestingly, DH got the job of sorting the blinds (which cost more than the door). Noone asked for me to be present, but we got quotes from local companies so perhaps that's the difference.

OP posts:

Kazzyhoward · 26/10/2018 09:52

Luckily there are plenty of alternative firms who don't have such a poor attitude. Earlier this year, I was getting quotes for a new conservatory. One firm asked on the phone if I owned the property or if it was owned jointly (didn't mention a husband) - I said it was jointly owned and when he said we'd both need to be there, I just said no thanks and put the phone down. That was only 1 firm out of 6 we contacted for quotes, so not widespread - I saw the other 5 on my own and there were no issues. My OH never saw any of them, and he was at work during the time they were installing it, so he never even met the workers either.

AlphaBravo · 26/10/2018 09:54

This has been hashed to death on here several times OP. Almost like someone just creates the same thread every half term infact 🤔

ciderhouserules · 26/10/2018 09:55

They want both parties there so that you can't say 'I need to speak to my husband/wife' and then sleep on it.... They want a Yes there and then.

I have it all the time. I'm not married.

I've also had a builder come to quote for an extension - Dp was there (by chance, he doesn't live here) andthe bloke spoke to him and him only. If i said anything (being my house!) he waited Juuuuuuuuuuust long enough to ensure that he wasn't actually replying to my question, turned to dP and answered it.

He got absolutely nowhere.

That tactic has occurred when i was looking for a car, too. Just ignore the little woman, that's the way to sell the car to her!

finks100 · 26/10/2018 09:55

Honestly he said 'a man needs to be there to make the decision.'

I was so shocked especially because the two reps I had spoken to knew he wouldn't be there. When I told friends they said it might be a personal safety thing, but the fact he mentioned the decision making made me realise that it was about financial control.
I was paying, I own the house (my boyfriend owns a flat that we rent out) I am capable of making the decision myself!

sashh · 26/10/2018 09:56

It has nothing to do with sexism. It's to do with giving a quote then a partner/wife/husband comes home and asks why the s that price, person who has listened to initial pitch can't give the answers so the sales person has to go back.

If you are on commission only then the first visit is a waste of time.

This is also why sales people will work evenings, so that the adults of the household are there.

If there is only one householder then there is no problem.

My dad sold central heating in the 1970s and 1980s. As a teenager I would book appointments for him and I would always give the reasoning when asking for both (if it was a couple) people to be there.

prettygreywalls · 26/10/2018 09:56

I always go with a small local firm for doors and windows , much better to pay a local firm , keep them in work , get much better service and usually you can ask around for recommendations 1 st. hand of quality etc

finks100 · 26/10/2018 10:02

@sashh I totally understand your point and don't want to waste anyone's time but the poor lad who was making cold calls and booked a secure appointment with me and his manager phoned to confirm said appointment lost out on their commission too.
I was in the market for windows, the two phone calls I had were professional and delightful, I was happy to use this company.

And it is my house and my money, I can make the decision. He said 'a man needs to make the decision' - that is sexism and they lost out on my custom.
I understand joint decision making and not wasting time but he didn't ask, who owns the house? who will be paying for the windows... he went straight to the fact that the man in the house will be the one who decides, in this case this simply isn't the case!

wowfudge · 26/10/2018 10:03

It is all about hard sell. Nothing to do with needing both of the joint owners of the place there, nor is it sexist.

LightastheBreeze · 26/10/2018 10:05

I have only used local firms for windows and doors, they just come round and measure, don't care if you are on your own, ask what you want then send quote in post, then you choose whether to use them. No faffing about for hours with them changing the prices and speaking to managers etc

So I would buy local

finks100 · 26/10/2018 10:05

He would have done better on the hard sell, if he had allowed himself to sell to me on my own. I have the cash and own the house, I want new windows.
To quote my boyfriend, 'It's your house, your money.'
He had an easy sell with me, and the man of the house wouldn't have been interested!

reallybadidea · 26/10/2018 10:06

It would be sexist if they don't ask men to ensure that their wife is present. Anyone got any experience of men trying to get quotes from these companies?

RomanyRoots · 26/10/2018 10:07

In fairness, my dh has had this the other way, it's not sexist.

If they call and only one of you are there, You could back out of the agreement in 14? days, if your oh doesn't agree with the deal.
That's why they ask you both together, they can't afford to lose a sale and make nothing for that day, and it's a waste of their time.

They should explain this though.

Longdistance · 26/10/2018 10:12

I once had a salesman come to my door at my first house I bought. ‘Can I speak with your mum and dad?’ ‘Erm, no they don’t live here, this is my house’. I was 25 when I bought my first house, I don’t know what he was thinking? 😂

I don’t answer the door now, unless I’m expecting someone.

RomanyRoots · 26/10/2018 10:14

it's always the big expensive, usually top of the range businesses that do this too, the national companies.
If you try locally not only are prices cheaper but you don't fall under the usual procedures of wanting both signatures.
That's why a pp had this off Sanderson Blinds.

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