Or was this a little insensitive?

[FairfaxAikman]

Six-month old DS is an absolutely shit sleeper- two hours at a time is his maximum overnight and it's often less - and he only manages two short naps during the day. He's BF so all wakings fall to me.

My MIL went to visit a friend who has a DS born the same week as my DS. Tonight she came over and was telling me about it and came out with "this will make you sick - he's sleeping through 6pm to 6am".

AIBU to be a little upset that she thought she needed to tell me that? She knows I'm struggling with lack of sleep.

It'll change don't worry!
The other child will go through hellish sleeping I'm sure

Don't worry just deal with yours for now - we get what we're given

YANBU she was gloating. But you’re gonna meet so many proud mummies who are desperate to crow about their wonderful children as well as their wonderful parenting so might as well get used to it.
It is tough to have broken sleep for so long, my DD didn’t sleep through until she was two. You’re not alone!

YANBU, it is insensitive, or perhaps just thoughtless. Get DH to tell her that Fairfax is shattered fom a lack of sleep and comments about other babies sleeping through the night really do not help.

Yes, get used to it.
And hone your nod and mmm response.
It's very difficult not to compare but you can't really.
But she was a bit of a cowbag.

MIL sounds like an insensitive twat.

But you wrote "He's BF so all wakings fall to me. " Which is worrying and U. Get dad on the case to share the burden! At 6 months a feed is not required every 2h at night.

She was insensitive, she didn’t need to tell you that.

He feeds to sleep @Rednaxela - he won't settle any other way.

Insensitive to an exhausted mother. Some babies sleep, some don't - it's the luck of the draw. And they all go through phases when they sleep better/worse.
I got to 8 months and the exhaustion really took hold, I was also getting to that 'touched out' phase of EBF. I was told st 6 months they don't 'need' a night feed so at 8 months (she is reached my limit) I sent OH in for 3 consecutive nights to comfort dd without boobs - I stuck some earplugs in and let them get on with it. She is 2 now and slept through (mostly) since x

She acknowledged that it would frustrate you and told you. I don't think it was insensitive, particularly.

That's rude and mean i agree.

Don't do all the nightwaking by yourself though, at the very least your partner can go and get baby, change nappy and bring them to you to feed in bed.

It does help the tiredness if you're not having to physically get out of bed all the time.

6am is the middle of the fucking night! Who boasts about that shit?

Saying this will make you sick - he's sleeping through 6pm to 6am" is just shorthand for 'I know this is going to wind you up when you're sleep deprived, so I'll go right ahead and do it.

It could have been [ thinks ] if I say this, it will wind Fairfax up, so I'll keep my big mouth shut.

Yes it was insensitive, but try to let it wash over, easier said than done I know!

The clocks go back k at the weekend... their 6am will be one 5am 😉

Don't tell her stuff anymore. She's mad if she thinks she can compare two children just because they were born in the same week.

She's probably forgotten just how hellish life with a small baby is, especially one that doesn't sleep. Like it's a small annoyance for you she can joke about, but to you it isn't funny at all (I've been there!!)

My dm is usually the most sensitive and helpful person but I will always remember her visiting me just after I gave birth to ds, I was in the pushing phase of labour for 2 1/2 hours and one of the first things she said was "really?! I only ever had to push 3 times and you all came straight out!" It was such an unnecessary thing to say!!

If he feeds to sleep perhaps try a dummy

@flumpybear tried. He refuses every type we've tried, he's also a bottle refuser so DH can't help with feeding EBM.

Well 6pm to 6am is bloody good.
She wasn’t ‘comparing’ them, just mentioning it. Maybe a little insensitive from MIL especially if she knows you’re knackered.

It's the sort of comment that would have reduced me to a sobbing wreck when any of my dcs were 6 months. However, for anyone not living the hell of sleep deprivation, it's just a perfectly normal throwaway comment..

You've just taken me right back to 14 years ago - this was my DS as a baby. Dreadful sleeper, dreadful at naps, wouldn't take a bottle or dummy... and I was seemingly surrounded by babies who were sleeping through from 4 weeks old or whatever. We were not prepared to do Controlled crying either, so apparently according to some we were making a rod for our own backs...
It is horrible OP and I have no real advice but try and ignore MIL, or if you're feeling brave then tell her how upsetting you find her comments, that you are doing your best and that not all babies sleep well. You have to find survival strategies to get through it, DH would sleep in the spare room then get up at 5am (sometimes earlier) so I could grab a couple of hours sleep before he went to work.
If its any consolation DS now sleeps like a log, they do all get there eventually, just hang on in there and get through it as best you can.

Some babies sleep, some babies don't. Anyone that tells you your baby 'should be' doing anything with regards to sleep is wrong.
Do what you need to do to survive, and practice your 'oh that's nice' face.

I'm in the same boat as you, but on DC 2 so I've been through it once already and learnt that people are dicks when it comes to babies and sleeping!

Very insensitive. My MIL did this constantly. She was unhappy I was Bfing and said baby was ff. I found out years later from the mother of said baby that they’d had a hellish time and the baby still woke at night until they were 7. Not weeks or months. That was years.

I’m not sure if the mother was lying, as people often do about baby’s sleep it it all seemed a bit bizarre.

DMIL even bought me that Gina Ford book. I read a couple of chapters then binned it.

If MIL asks about his sleep again just lie tell her he's sleeping fine. If she wasn't trying to be annoying, no harm done, but if she is trying to wind you up, that'll nip it in the bud.

Bet the other mum was telling porkies as well

Only you know whether she was identifying with you or having a pop. It could have been either depending on tone and facial expression!

I think you’re over sensitive. She said it would make you sick. Sounds to me like it was said in a sense of sympathy and camaraderie. Acknowledging that you have it hard.
When mine was the same (really the same - 2 hours max, grazing all night, only settled on the breast, very little in the way of day time naps) I wouldn’t have cared about this comment - I’d have found it to be sympathetic.

Are you cosleeping? My daughter was in a bedside cot, it saved me, not having to “get up” with baby. Just shuffle over, attach, and lie there with my eyes closed willing her to “fucking well sleep”!

Good luck!