DD (15) going to bed at 7am and getting up at 3pm?

[humanlat]

It's half-term and she has this sleeping schedule. It's driving me mad. Apparently she's "binge watching" all the latest stuff with her friends (they are on FaceTime, while watching? Wtf).

AIBU to put a stop to this?

I am quite a relaxed parent but dear god I wouldn't allow this.

Ds is 15 and currently on half term. He has mocks in 2 weeks and whilst he still spends lots of time on Fortnite/going to the gym/playing football/going swimming ( all things he has done this week ) he knows that sleep and routine is so important.

I have terrible problems with sleeping due to a chronic illness so he sees first hand what happens with lack of sleep.

I don't police him so much when he's off school but he's up by 10am and would hate to spend the day asleep.

It's computer off at 10pm on a school night and 12 at weekends and I don't really budge on that. There are others in the household to consider aswell.

@nomudlotus

It is not at all good for her physical or mental health - reverse of sleep patterns can lead to significant mental health difficulties, such as depression and can be a trigger for illness such as bipolar disorder.

Can you tell me where you sourced this?

She's training for university.

On a school night it's lights off at 10.30pm for my 16 year old DS. Over the weekend and during holidays he can goto bed when he wants - usually between 10pm and 2am depending how tired he is. I wouldn't be allowing him to stay awake all night if I'm honest because for me it's showing he's not able make half sensible choices.

I agree you need to sort it before half term is over as it takes a few days to adjust your schedule.

If it was me I would turn the internet off (take the router to bed with you if you need to) at bedtime and don't put it back until morning. She can't watch Netflix or FaceTime for too long without WiFi.

15 is too young to just shrug and leave her to it IMO. Once she left school it'll be none of your business as long as she's functioning and not preventing others from sleeping, but at 15 extreme sleep patterns are still parents' business.

WiFi off at midnight - pre warn her so she can tell her friends you're a dragon, that's part of growing up

Mine are a bit younger, but the "no tech in bedrooms" is a rule here and is going to be enforced up to 18 hopefully in this house.

DD's BF keeps these kind of hours at university. Throw in extremely large amounts of alcohol and very few contact hours, not turning up for seminars and sleeping through lectures, plus lack of motivation and any kind of self discipline to study. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets kicked out.

My DS was like this in his teens. He grew out of it, they tend to!

Mine is nearly 15. We kept his normal bedtime of 10.30. But he just laid there till gone midnight and just got more frustrated.

So we now do. Off computer at 10. He can sit on his phone till 11. Then he can read till midnight. And then sleep. Has been much better. And e now sleeps.

Weekends he is allowed on the computer with his friends till one. Then bed.
Then make sure he is up at 10.30-11.00.

This is a good balance and seems to work well. He doesn’t seem overly tired either.

At 15, does she not have any GCSE preparation homework to do in the days?

I did this briefly towards the end of my first year at university - enjoying new-found freedom, etc. It did my mental health no good at all. Plus, whilst I was busy thinking it was cool, the others in my hall seemed to think it was just weird.

My eldest is only 11 so I haven't had this as an issue as a parent yet - I can't see myself being too happy about it. And I don't have a problem talking about a 15-year-old being 'allowed' to do something or not. Might not seem like it but 15 is still a child.

Another who’s gobsmacked people think this is ok!
My DD will be 15 in January and there’s no way I’d let her do this.

She goes up to her bedroom at 9.30 and lights off by 10 on a school night.

WiFi is timed to switch off at 10.15 on her devices.

She’d be a bloody disaster going to bed at 7am, getting back into a decent routine will be a nightmare.

She's getting 8 hours of sleep...

DD (14) no phones in bedroom after 8pm. No TVs either. She reads and sleeps each night, and is normally asleep by 9pm at the latest. Later in the holidays.

We too encourage outside exercise every day a run with the dogs or a game of tennis, self directed screen restriction and this quite frankly is essential as I believe she would be on her phone all day given the chance.

I would be extremely concerned with any child having no sleep whatsoever all night. Why has she got her phone in her room? It is really unhealthy. Simple to fix thoug make a new house rule, all gadgets downstairs every evening. Turn the wifi off and ask her to take a bath to relax before sleeping.

Help her form good habits now.

I think staying up until 2 am is fine but anything after that is unnecessary.

I grew up with my dad insisting I never had a lie in and although I occasionally did he always commented and I hated that.

I don't think too many restrictions works in the teenage years.

Ds has gone to bed at 4 am but that was over the summer. I don't agree with it though.

Pleased and relieved to notice so many other families have encountered this!

I wouldn’t allow this though would be lax about bed time and get up time in the holidays. You’re still responsible for her health and wellness and this habit is a disaster in the making.

I think some middle ground between the OP and the parent who gives their 14yo son a bio oil massage every day [ ] is needed here.

A 15yo shouldn't be up all night and sleeping all day.

This is a really unhealthy thing for a teenager to do. It will take ages for their sleep pattern to readjust, they not active and they won’t be getting any daylight to their skin. There is no reason why they can’t see or speak to their friends in daylight hours.

he tells me that if is 100% normal for teenagers to naturally have a sleep pattern where there wake late and sleep late. It’s not lazy or whatever just how their brains are made.

For most of human history, there were no screens and limited manmade light (just firelight, basically, and that was limited) and you had to get up and make the most of daytime life in order to carry out essential tasks for staying alive. So everyone had daytime/nighttime patterns that were closely connected with the hours of daylight. And teenagers would have be expected to be working with the adults and getting up at the same time as them.

There is no historical precedent for the idea that it is "natural" for teenagers to live vampire-like existences or to have extremely different schedules to everyone else.

Even if it is normal for teenagers to become more nocturnal being on FaceTime until 7am watching TV all night is not natural!! At 15 I still had some boundaries which I am grateful my parents put in place. These days it seems that no one ever wants to say no to their child. Even at 15 where they do need more independence they also need to realise that sleep and daylight are important in their well-being!!

Can't believe you've actually let her get into this routine to be honest.

They do weird shit at that age.

In less than a year, she's old enough to have a baby and/or marry.

Let her crack on with it.

If you helicopter-parent, she'll end up never being able to work stuff out for herself or leave home.

Do people really think that not wanting your child to sleep during the day and be awake watching films all night make you a helicopter parent?