DD (15) going to bed at 7am and getting up at 3pm?

[humanlat]

It's half-term and she has this sleeping schedule. It's driving me mad. Apparently she's "binge watching" all the latest stuff with her friends (they are on FaceTime, while watching? Wtf).

AIBU to put a stop to this?

I allowed DD to make her own mistakes. She had a period of doing this and I explained she needed to get into a better patter. Of course it was "fine" but then she got a detention for being late and forgetting her homework through tiredness. She soon went back to a normal sleep pattern.

I sympathise with her as I am night owl, but its a lesson us night owls need to learn.....that the world is run for the benefit of larks and we have to fit in

I am a bit at the idea that a 15 will allow themselves to be forced to do anything tbh. At that age the best thing you can do imo is to point out the consequences of their actions and if they choose to take them then hopefully they will learn.

@herewegoalloveragain im with you.

I do the same in terms of not letting them lie past 11am , and bed at a decent hour .

Im a mental health nurse and i have seen over the past 20 years just how crucial a healthy sleep pattern is to minimise risk of heart problems, cancer risk , depression, and other major mental health disorders.

I have been really careful to instil a clear routine for my DC in the couple of hours before bed , so that their brains recognise its wind down time .

Also those saying about studying, they can still study just later in the day as their day starts and ends later studying can still happen.

have you talked to her.if its gone on a few days now could you voice your concerns.or just say ok.i know its been fun but lets put a cap on it now before we go back.even 3am.
shes getting enough sleep that something.my sister used to go to bed at midnight and not get up til 3pm haha.but not even going to bed until 7am for so long I think might be too far.

I know this is confrontational but lots on here about 'allow'.
At 15 they are 3 years away from leaving home and possibly going to university. At 15 you are 1 or 2 years away from starting A Levels (where personal motivation to study becomes necessary).
Surely control becomes increasingly difficult as a parent and if they haven't had to deal with cause and effect then it could cause rebellion (as soon as your back is turned and you aren't controlling them they will do all the things they haven't been allowed to do).
What happens when they go to uni and there isn't someone telling them that it's bed time or will the next 3 years make all the difference?
If they stay up all night and don't want to go to school that's a different story (for what it's worth I would drag her in, make her do a full day, keep her up until 3am, make her go to school the next day and then watch her crash at 5pm - lesson learnt 😀. If I was feeling particularly sadistic I would also add a 5 mile hike into the mix)

...but I wouldn't say "you have to go to bed"

I do understand the importance of a good night's sleep (she says at 1:15am!), but the DD is on half term. It lasts a week.
Holidays are SUPPOSED to be different to term time.

My DD is 17 next month. This time a year ago, she had a great social group and she was out all the time in school hols and at weekends staying with various friends with other various friends. They might have been on screens, mostly they were chatting amongst themselves. It wasn't the times that OP's DD is doing, but it wasn't that different.
All through it, she made all her commitments. She turned up at her sport for 8:30 every Saturday morning and by 9 every Sunday (the times she was supposed to be there). She did all her homework.

I think friendships are really important at that age, and that we as parents should be encouraging this.

We also need to recognise how our powerbase is slipping away. So (as a PP said) we point out the consequences, and make them live them, but we give them increasing freedom.

I do think there are some people that just need or like to get up later and some who are earlier risers.and I think that ok.even passed midday if its in their time and they are getting life done then its ok.as I said my sister and my brother were such late sleepers and they are both really successful now.and completely happy.sickenly so and lots more happy than early risers in the family.
I think there is a lot to be said for getting or be able to have a bloody good lie in.

It's pretty common for teens and young adults to be night owls, though the screens and gadgets probably won't help.

If it's not causing any further problems and not disturbing the family then I'd say leave her be. If it does cause further issues then nix the gadgets in the evening.

Bio oil massage for stretch marks?!
Did you mean your OH not your child?

I think you also have to judge on the individual.are they managing.happy.awake.
is the time effecting them or you as a family,their mood.are they eating and getting school or work that needs o be done done.
if ur worried why are you worried.just because it seems to you unreasonable.but really why?if it is effecting her then ther eis ur reason.if not then for a week.merr.otherwsie talk to her.
does she go back Monday?could you say to get back into some routine she should get back some proper times.
or ask if she wants to go out for lunch or breakie.

I think friendships are really important at that age, and that we as parents should be encouraging this.

Of course they are. But one advantage over face-to-face friendships at that age is that they don't tend to occur at 2am. It's only phones and tablets that encourage staying up (or PCs )

However no way would my 15 year-old be using any screen in the middle of the night/early hours. I have no objection to lay-ins or slightly later bedtimes, but those times? Not a chance.

Did you mean your OH not your child?

Both my sons have stretch marks due to growth spurts. I was very worried but the GP told me it is not unusual in teen lads when they seem to grow an inch a day.

Oh and DD1 has boob stretch marks as they grew so quickly.

Did you mean your OH not your child?

I only got stretch marks on my thighs and breasts as a teenager and none with pregnancies!

My question wasn't about whether teenagers get stretch marks
I was a teenager and had many.
Why is a parent massaging their 14 year old with bio oil and micro managing their every move. It's not encouraging independence imo

Question for those who say that parents cannot or should not modify 15yos' schedules: if a boarding school or teachers on a school residential took the same approach and permitted these hours, would you be OK with it?

My son sees a sleep specialist due to a sleep disorder, he tells me that if is 100% normal for teenagers to naturally have a sleep pattern where there wake late and sleep late. It’s not lazy or whatever just how their brains are made. She’s not harming anyone.

Kokeshi: in the holidays yes.

Yes @OwlBeThere thats right - but not to the extent that a child goes to bed at 7am and gets up at 3pm in the afternoon!

Does she have anything to get up for? Do you do activities together? Does she have chores or studying? If not then it's probably boredom. It's really not healthy and should be stopped.

Agree - has your dd not got anything to do during the day? My 15 year old goes out with her friends and wouldn’t be able to function at work!

I’m currently parenting my fourth 15 year old. It’s a really simple rule. Nothing good happens to your kid when they stay up until 7am, and it’s your job, as a parent, to protect them from all this bullshit. Seriously, it’s not controlling. It’s stepping up.

couldn't agree more Albert