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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a bitch for bailing last minute

31 replies

valteri · 25/10/2018 20:24

Hi,

I'm a (24) masters student and I've had a pretty hairy start to the term so didn't hesitate when a new friend suggested that I buy a ticket for a Halloween night at the student union (tomorrow). Drinking the night away and having a bit of a flirt would definitely help blow off some steam. However, it's slowly dawning on me that with an essay due on Wednesday and two presentations to prep for that perhaps getting pissed isn't the best thing to do. We agreed to go together so I feel a bit shit pulling out. However, she did buy the ticket before she knew I was going. Would I be a bitch to bail so last minute? If it was just one evening it would be fine but getting drunk means Saturday is pretty much guaranteed to be a write-off as well.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 25/10/2018 20:26

So go but don’t get shitfaced. Hmm

redexpat · 25/10/2018 20:26

Could you go and hsve 1 drink? Not get drunk?

QueenNovo · 25/10/2018 20:26

If its just the two of you going together rather than a big group then yes I think YWBVU to let her down. Don't drink so much that you won't be able to study on Saturday?

SassitudeandSparkle · 25/10/2018 20:27

Go but don't get so drunk that Saturday is a write-off. What is wrong with that?

Original poster
valteri · 25/10/2018 20:28

Tbh I wouldn't enjoy a SU night without being tipsy (and then some).

OP posts:
TheBigFatMermaid · 25/10/2018 20:28

Wednesday?

It's only Thursday now, so that's practically a week away!

Go, enjoy.

as the Queen of the last minute, I may not be the best person to listen to

livefornaps · 25/10/2018 20:33

Use it as a reward to better structure your time.

Are you going to be beavering away on a Friday night anyway??

People who bail last minute because they have soooooo much work to do usually end up pissing around anyway. But if you give yourself plenty to do beforehand and actually do it a few hours off won't hurt.

Wolfiefan · 25/10/2018 20:35

If you can’t have a good time without drinking so much on a Friday that the entire weekend is a write off then you have bigger issues than bailing.

Mookie81 · 25/10/2018 20:37

So you'd rather mug off your friend than not be shit faced? Halloween Hmm
Get over yourself Halloween Biscuit

Original poster
valteri · 25/10/2018 20:38

I definitely dont't have a drink problem but 3-4 drink will make me hungover

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 25/10/2018 20:39

So have two?! A couple of drinks shouldn’t get you so wasted you can’t start work at some point the next day.

Devillanelle · 25/10/2018 20:42

Can you not just do your work tomorrow during the day, and then over the subsequent days leading up to Wednesday? You sound like a bit of a pompous dick.

Eilaianne · 25/10/2018 20:42

You said you'd go, you just need to juggle your commitments as if your word holds weight.
Cut down on drinks or manage time better or reduce the quality of output on essay or use it as a learning moment to learn to think before you agree to something -the essay nor Halloween are unexpected events.

Some people are so flakey and there's very little reliability these days, I find!

Tahani · 25/10/2018 20:44

theres no reason you cannot get the work done (unless you have other commitments??)

Lalliella · 25/10/2018 20:44

Don’t bail on a friend, YWBVU. If you do then it’s quite likely that as a new friend she will soon become an ex-friend. Do you really want that?

greendale17 · 25/10/2018 20:46

Don’t bail, figure a way round this

placebobebo · 25/10/2018 20:48

Don't bail, just restructure your prep timetable and get as much as you can done before the weekend.

Original poster
valteri · 25/10/2018 20:53

Yeah, I knew it was a dick move. Best rustle up a costume :)

OP posts:
AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 25/10/2018 20:54

Go, but dont drink.

Honestly dont see the problem with that

Even if you do get wankered, so what if saturday is a write off, you have sunday, monday and tuesday too..

lilyboleyn · 25/10/2018 20:56

Glad you’ve decided to go. There’s nothing worse than being flakey. And yes, I’ve noticed there are so many flakey people around atm... it’s so, so rude. Good on you for going.

TellMeAboutRedditch · 25/10/2018 20:58

No one likes a flake.

Just sip your drinks slowly or buy less alcoholic ones.

HackAttack · 25/10/2018 21:01

Yes

Original poster
valteri · 25/10/2018 21:01

You sound like a bit of a pompous dick

okay

OP posts:
wineandcatsandlego · 25/10/2018 21:03

I was having the same dilemma this week, agreed to join my newly single and sad friend for a Halloween party then onto town to a club event tomorrow night, but remembered we're having DSD's 9th birthday party at ours on Saturday Confused however I couldn't with all clear conscience drop my mate (even though same as you I know I'll struggle to not let my hair down too much tomorrow night Blush) so I will prep as much as I can before I go out then have the paracetamol at the ready Saturday morning!

Ngaio2 · 25/10/2018 21:04

Warn your friend beforehand that you don’t intend to drink as much as usual this time. Ask her if she’d rather go with someone else in that case. If neither of you feel the need to egg the other on you may both drink less and feel better the next day. Hydrate yourself with water before you go out.

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