Oh my godddd help me get my evenings back 😭

[RunningWhileTheWorldBurns]

Two daughters. Ages 4 and 1.

Four year old - requires me to read her stories and the lie on her bed until she falls asleep. I do this every single night. She takes the utter mick. Tosses and turns and chats etc so I’m lying there till gone 9pm and my night is as good as over. Hysterical when I suggest that we change this pattern.

One year old. Hell raiser. DH deals with her of an evening. Needs rocked till she’s sleeping. Will fight sleep till the very end. Process can take hours. DH is out tonight and I have rocked and rocked her but she is just fighting me. I have put her down in her cot for a breather (wanted to see if she would self settle - she does in nursery for the record ) and she is pacing her cot singing.

Four year old DD is crying because I’m refusing to lie on her bed til one year old pisstaker is asleep. Both beyond exhausted by the way.

I can’t take this any more. Please helpp

Have you tried audiobooks for the eldest? They've been amazing for us, especially when doing multiple bedtimes solo.

I sympathise. I hadn't cracked it but all my 3 go to bed 8 o clock. We all get into one big bed. We read a story. All say good night to each other kisses etc. Then lay down. 9 times out of 10 they are all asleep in 10 minutes then I transfer to the correct bed. Not great but it works for us. However they all take turns to wake at least once or twice in the night. Haven't cracked that one yet

Marking place

Someone told me about this the other day on MN
drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
It looks like a really good method. I like it. I'm going to try it with my baby when he turns 1

Not your fault. Don't beat yourself up about it. I had one who I had to pin to the bed screaming and flailing until finally gave up and slept. Then I had another who would gurgle, grin and shove thumb in mouth when dumped in the cot.

Is there any reason they can't both be in the same bed whilst you read stories?

I would suggest breaking the rhythm. Alternate nights with your DH so you each get time with each child. Also gets them used to doing things a slightly different way.

I don't accept talking after lights out, but will stay until they sleep if they are quiet. They learnt that pretty quickly.

I've escaped with a "mummy needs the loo" before, then they're asleep by the time I check back.

I think it's fair to say "It's 9pm, mummy needs her dinner."

I'm past all this now, but it reminded me so much of this story, we used to mouth the words to each other to keep us sane! "You're not thirsty...stop bullsh*tting me!"
This too shall pass! Routine and consistency are the key.

You have my sympathies OP! This is why I tell my friends to start good sleep habits from babyhood, I’ve seen so many people wrecked and stressed out over poor sleepers.

You need to decide on a new routine and then STICK to it. Don’t waver, stand firm. It will be slightly tricky with the 1 year old as she’s still a baby so I wouldn’t leave her to cry for long or get hysterical. I’d use a gradual method there. Get her falling asleep without being rocked first, then get her to sleep without you in the room.

But the 4 year old you can explain the situation in advance, tell her what the new routine is and kiss her goodnight, leave the room and that is that. She knows she’s loved, she knows you’re there, she will NOT be damaged from the experience and the people who tell you she will are the ones going around with huge bags under their eyes and never spend a single night without a child kicking them in their sleep!

You will have a rough few nights/week. Don’t give in!!! It will work I promise but you have to have confidence or they’ll smell your fear and play on it. Best of luck

If you can afford it would you consider a sleep consultant? I'd look on local Facebook parents pages for recommendations as there are shit ones and great ones. There is no groundbreaking advice that they offer but they do give you the confidence and support to approach it yourself...and when you've paid a few hundred quid you do see it through!

One story, 5 mins chat/tell me whatever, another story or leave her with a story tape, end of. 20 mins is plenty. Why do people let children rule them. Unless there's special needs they should just go to bed. They've got you atvit and it's not making them happy is it?

If you can afford it would you consider a sleep consultant? I'd look on local Facebook parents pages for recommendations as there are shit ones and great ones. There is no groundbreaking advice that they offer but they do give you the confidence and support to approach it yourself...and when you've paid a few hundred quid you do see it through!

I used one for DS1 and she was AMAZING!!! Within a week my life had completely changed for the better and all our sleeping problems were resolved. She only cost £90 and it was for an email/phone call service and it was worth every penny!

Send me a message if you ever do consider it and I will pass on her details.

Sympathies. Mine are still awake. In my bed. After multiple fits of giggles because eldest has wind (tmi) and eldest has also changed his Pjs twice because he is too hot and his "pyjamas don't fit any more" - they do

Pair of pisstakers. No real advice to offer but I absolutely sympathise