My driving instructor blamed me

[emily0108]

So i had a driving lesson yesterday, only my 3rd one, and it ended in such a disaster. I'm learning in an automatic as I had a few lessons in a manual and just could not grasp the clutch and gears and felt like I wasn't progressing.

I was coming up to a T junction, and a few minutes before approaching my instructor tells me to take my foot off the gas pedal and let the car slow down a bit on its own before even touching the break pedal. So at this point both my feet are flat on the ground. He then tells me to put my foot on the break, but I lost my foot bearings and accidentally put my foot on the gas pedal (and quite hard oops) so instead of slowing down we sped up and was almost at the end of the junction. There was no cars in front luckily, but we kept moving forward as if we was going to pull out. He shouted at me quite nastily "BREAK BREAK BREAK", and slammed his foot really hard down on his break. Obviously the car stopped but the break pedals came loose and neither would work at all. This was due to him making an emergency stop . He then shouted at me nastily "it's your fault, you have broke the car and I have a test in 45 mins". It's a bit of a blur because I was so worked up, he said other things to me out of anger as well.

I was so shocked, I felt liking crying my eyes out. I'm an inexperienced driver who is still very nervous on the road, and surely my instructor should be able to take full control over the car? What if an examiner had to do an emergency stop for someone and the breaks broke? It's made me feel very unsafe and even more nervous for future lessons. He was so nasty to me about it, I even apologised and he just ignored me. He managed to tighten both breaks back up, and then drove me home. Later on I realised that I shouldn't of apologised for temporarily breaking his car because it wasn't my fault? Or was it.. AIBU?

Why would he be shitting himself if he had his own bloody brake right there?

Exactly! Presumably if his foot had. Even hovering over the brake (as so many are berating OP for not doing) then he wouldn’t have needed to do an emergency stop at all.

He sounds like a lazy bellend with a short fuse. Not the best combo for a driving instructor.

@BlueBug45

What’s with the wanky comment about spelling? 🙄

We've all done stuff we shouldn't have when learning to drive, it's why it's called learning. My instructor never raised his voice once despite some of the stupid stuff I did in the first few weeks. He made me park and have a breather or put the radio on for 5 minutes until I'd calmed down after a meltdown.

5 hours in and you confused the break and accelerator? You have to consider the safety of people on the road and Think whether you should be driving.

I would get another instructor and it sounds like you need to spend a bit of time just driving on empty spaces practicing with your pedals before going out on proper roads. Maybe have another go in a car with gears but you just need to take it slowly to start with, once you get the hang of it you will be ok on the hills, it just takes time

OP you're not being unreasonable and of course you felt like crying. You're learning and learning to drive is scary enough without having to deal with attitudes & reactions like that. Your instructor was way out of line and his behaviour was totally unacceptable. You need to report him/lay a formal complaint and find another instructor.

Don't go anywhere near that so called instructor again.

5 hours in and you confused the break and accelerator? You have to consider the safety of people on the road and Think whether you should be driving.

To be fair to the OP her instructor sounds massively shit. I imagine she’ll learn much more quickly with a non bellend instructor 👍

5 hours in and you confused the break and accelerator? You have to consider the safety of people on the road and Think whether you should be driving.

Five hours is really very little time to learn a new and complex skill. I have encountered many, many problem drivers on the road. in the case of almost all of them the problems are lack of planning, inability to read the road, overtaking dangerously in a way that clearly breaches the Highway code and just generally being thoughtless, aggressive wankers. The control of the car is not difficult and can be learned. The real problem is having the cognitive ability to read the road properly.

I know it's my own fault for putting both feet flat on the floor. He told me to keep my left foot on the rest but I just didn't like it there and he was fine with that. Maybe I should try get used to it

He shouldn't have been ok with you not covering the brake; it's unsafe. And yes, you HAVE to get used to it, because it's unsafe not to cover your brake. I'd find a new instructor.

I learned through my high school, and the high school instructor was the meanest woman on the planet (she admitted this). I just had to suck it up because there were no other options. I was 16, and my parents couldn't afford private lessons. But if I'd had a choice I would have left her.

The instructor should have told you not to put your right foot flat on the floor.

The instructor should have taught you up cover the brake.

Not. Your. fault.

I'm usually good with my English too

The first 3 hours of my lessons were just getting to know the car, the panel, the gears and the pedals. So 5 hours in really isn't that far on if you have never sat behind the wheel before.

OP get a different instructor. I also had a bad one a few years ago who shouted at me for making a mistake and another time when I got a bit upset I said I didn't know if I could do it and instead of reassuring me that it takes some time to really master things, he said ok then and drove me back home! I stopped learning with him and just thought that would be how all instructors were so never had the courage to try again. Then before new year I decided (after considering it many times in the 10 years since those lessons) that I would give it another shot. I googled driving instructors in my area then facebook searched their driving page and read the reviews. I read quite a few but one instructor stood out as all his reviews mentioned how calming he was and how good with nervous learners he was.

I passed my test this month and am so, so glad I gave it another try. Don't give up. Also don't write off manual cars as it does sometimes take a while to 'get' it but a good instructor will get you there.

You have had a horrible time. I'm another suggesting you need to find another instructor. I know you said he is the only one who does automatic but manual really isn't bad. At one point my (very nice) instructed suggested I switched to automatic as I was struggling with the clutch - I didn't and one day it just clicked. It's second nature now.

Don't worry about hill starts either - put your handbrake on, go into first and when you feel the car start to move take the handbrake off. Easy!

Seriously, you will get it. But you'll get it a lot faster if you aren't having to listen to a confidence stealing twat.

Ehere abouts ate you btw? Sure MNers can suggest a good instructor.

I'm an ex-instructor, and this was 100% not your fault. This guy drones on and distracts you, gives you piss-poor instructions, and then loses his temper when you make a mistake. He's an idiot and needs a new career, and you need a better instructor.

I only ever got properly frustrated with one person. I think she was being deliberately awful to piss off her long suffering father and drain his funds for lessons, I never knew anyone so wilfully terrible. I finally shouted FUCK in terror and grabbed the wheel when she drove directly at a truck by turning the wrong way at a roundabout.

But plenty of others did far worse, believe me. Try to forget it, find another instructor and move on.

A chatty driving instructor isn't necessarily a bad thing OP, mines was really chatty but totally understood if I needed to take a minute to read the road or assess a situation. We'd talk about everything and it really helped to stop my nerves and build my confidence.

It’s not wanky to say that it should be “brake” - I am shocked how many people put “ break” instead! And I don’t believe that everyone is dyslexic or has learning difficulties.
Agree with many other posters that you need to dump that horrible instructor! Hope you find a nice patient one 🙂

This is absolutely awful what a dickhead, please don't give him any more money. I was an awful nervous driver and used to make mistakes all the time. I would honestly send him a nasty text telling him he's a prick and that he shouldn't teach people how to drive

I think we have all established I'm not the best at English, I find it quite bizarre that people keep pointing it out. What normal person let's it bother them that much?

Hearing other people's driving lesson disasters it's so reassuring, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has made a mistake during the first few lessons we all have to start somewhere! Seems to me some people were just born knowing how to drive and have probably being driving that long that they've forgotten how hard it actually is learning to drive

I genuinely feel like I will never make that mistake again and will always just hover my foot. It's not like I made a mistake that's hard to fix, I've 100% got that now. I would of easily fixed it if my instructor had picked up on it too, I think it was a misunderstanding of his instructions more than anything.

I am definitely going to look for another instructor, the more I look back on the situation the more it makes me realise how he reacted was unfair and unprofessional. I understand the heat of the moment thing, but I think it was pretty shitty to then just not say anything to me at all on the way home. I think I'm going to be left with no other option but to go back to a manual instructor I do really like driving in an automatic car

Seems to me some people were just born knowing how to drive

They really aren't OP. Despite what they let you believe. Some people will pick it up quicker than others, as with other skills, but most of us benefit from good instruction.

No way was it your fault! The brake pedals should never come loose! The car is faulty and dangerous. You are a very new learner, of course you are going to make mistakes, so for him to shout at you and blame you is totally unacceptable.

I had a similar thing happen to me minus breaking the car. I stopped lessons at that point and got a nice lady instructor who was so patient and I learnt much quicker. That's way out of order. He deserves a public shaming for being nasty especially under the circumstances given its HIS responsibility and you are paying for that.

I think we have all established I'm not the best at English, I find it quite bizarre that people keep pointing it out. What normal person let's it bother them that much?

Difficult to explain it OP. As part of my job I copy-edit text. So reading errors in text makes me itchy in a way. I'm supposed to find errors and correct them so not doing so feels as if my brain is short circuiting. That said, I haven't mentioned your spelling and grammar on here because it's a thread about driving. I'd rather people got the advice they need than that they were put off because they thought people would attack their ability to write. Plus, I make my own mistakes when posting on the internet, so I'm inclined to leave people alone most of the time.

I wouldn't worry about it. The majority of MN, even those who correct other people, cheerfully use "reign in" when they mean "rein in". (You rein in a horse to slow it down. You reign in your kingdom. The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain).

Oh crikes op . Invest in a annual bus pass . Yiu shouldn't be driving especially if you don't understand

It took me loads of lessons to get to grips with driving, hence why the instructor has dual control of the car; and him doing an emergency stop shouldn’t have broken the brakes anyway! But definitely not your fault, I agree with others who say look for someone else, and maybe try manual again- just automatic restricts you a lot, of you pass in a manual can drive both.