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AIBU?

To have spend 75pounds on lenses for ds 7

66 replies

dentydown · 25/10/2018 00:30

Ds 7 has quite bad eye sight. His prescription is +6.50 and +7.00, and he has to wear his glasses all the time.
I paid 75 pounds for ultra thin lenses for him, because the optician warned me standard lenses would be very thick and would stand out. (We have some of his previous weaker prescriptions and they are about 7mm thick and stand out 4mm from the frame)
We went through the options with the dispensing optician and basically ds is going to have ultra thin lenses, specially made and fitted (will take longer - 5 days) and they should appear like normal glasses.
He has broken his glasses before, but they just swapped the lenses out at no extra cost.
DP is saying they saw me coming. It’s christmas every day and it’s too much to spend for a child.
My argument is, I had the money there (I put it away for this), he wears them everyday, he’s 7 and he doesn’t want great thick heavy lenses on his face. He has broken his glasses frames in the past, but it was a case of popping the lenses out and fitting them in a new frame at no extra cost.
Dp spent 300 pounds on glasses for him self and he has half the strength of ds!

OP posts:
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TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/10/2018 00:37

Do you get child benefit? I’d argue that this is what it’s for. Lighter lenses are more comfortable. Your DP is a hypocrite.

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GrimDamnFanjo · 25/10/2018 00:50

It's tough enough having poor eyesight as a kid. You should never make them feel that they should settle for a cheap option which will impact on their quality of life.

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dentydown · 25/10/2018 00:57

Yes I get child benefit. I didn’t think to mention that to him!
I did point out to him that wearing “bottle bottoms” isn’t pleasant for a child. It gets pointed out by other kids, heavy on the face etc. Also they tend to review the prescription after a year so works out at 20p a day.
I just needed a bit of reassurance because I thought Iwbu.

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davisday · 25/10/2018 01:03

DP is saying they saw me coming. It’s christmas every day and it’s too much to spend for a child.


Your DP is an arsehole.

Christmas every day?! Because you bought your DC some decent GLASSES 

I think that's an awful attitude to have. I would understand if you had showered him with toys for no reason, but a pair of glasses? To help your child see?

That's just awful.

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schoolstuff77 · 25/10/2018 01:06

My child’s optician didn’t give us the option. I asked if I could pay to have thinner lenses cause there was no way they were wearing them!
I happily paid, kids can be mean!

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florenceheadache · 25/10/2018 01:18

your idiot husband obviously doesn't have to wear heavy eyeglasses, the weight is carried on the ears and the bridge of the nose and quickly becomes uncomfortable.
uncomfortable glasses get left here there and everywhere.
start a little savings account for eye surgery asap.

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MrsZB · 25/10/2018 01:29

You did the right thing for sure.

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purpleme12 · 25/10/2018 01:32

Nook you're fine to get thinner lenses for that prescription. Mine's bad too I get thinner lenses. I don't think this is an extravagance (unfortunately as it's expensive)

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negomi90 · 25/10/2018 01:59

I get thinner lenses, for me. To me glasses which look ok, are the right prescription and are comfortable are basic parenting - not a present or a luxury. Heavy lenses which he'll get teased about and won't use due to discomfort and bullying will be bad for his physical, mental and academic health.

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negomi90 · 25/10/2018 02:01

At specsavers its not as much extra money as you'd think as the scratch resistant stuff costs about £30 for normal lenses, and come as standard for the extra thin ones.
Not getting scratch resistant lenses is as far as I'm concerned very silly.

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luckybird07 · 25/10/2018 02:03

I am in the US and think 130 quid a year for my DD's glasses is cheap- is 75 a lot in the UK for glasses?

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UpsyDaisysarmpit · 25/10/2018 02:11

I have a similar prescription and I would always get the thinner lenses, as the standard ones are really thick. I am limited in the frames that fit the lenses then. Your DH is being a bit unreasonable. Thinner lenses are worth the money.

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brizzledrizzle · 25/10/2018 02:14

Op you absolutely did the right thing.

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Isadora2007 · 25/10/2018 02:15

Your “D” H is a knob.

Ignore him. Wearing glasses every day is enough of a bother without them being heavier than necessary- especially for a young child.

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safariboot · 25/10/2018 02:21

YANBU. You don't want standard lenses with a prescription that strong. Although the very thinnest are often arguably overpriced, and can in some situations actually be thicker at the edges.

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SheSparkles · 25/10/2018 02:37

Totally agree that he’s being ridiculous. My dd has always had a similarly strong prescription and we’ve always paid to have thinned lenses -she didn’t ask to be so short sighted!

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Pooleschoolschoice · 25/10/2018 02:45

I haven't paid the 30 quid for the antireflective coating for my 10 year old this week but tbh its the first time they've offered it to me and shes honestly been fine so far and weve not got much money at the moment.

However she has a v low prescription. I have bottle glasses and do have them thinned (they last several years tho ugh as I dont change them for small differences.)

If she had really thick glasses I would def pay to have them thinned if I had the money. Old school pictures of me look awful with really thick glasses!

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Pooleschoolschoice · 25/10/2018 02:48

Luckybird07. My daughter is 10 and Ive never paid for a sight test (annual) or glasses (2 pairs each time, often one sunglasses) at all!! Im in England and the NHS covers healthcare for children!

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Jenny70 · 25/10/2018 04:49

I paid for thinner lenses for my child, looks great. Ignore DH.

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coppercolouredtop · 25/10/2018 04:54

former opticioan here

not only do thick lenses look awful they are heavy and can hurt little noses and ears.

i would pay for thinned down lenses every time especially with a + prescription as the weight and thickness is in the middle of the lens

at lease with high - lenses you can choose a shape that helps but with + lenses you cant.

ignore him.

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Lovelydovey · 25/10/2018 04:56

My aunt still reminds me that my dad was the one who bought her first pair of non-NHS glasses with the money from a summer job. These things matter to kids.

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Sirzy · 25/10/2018 05:30

I assume your dh isn’t a full time glasses wearer?

Comfort is key. My glasses are the one thing I will pay more for because they are on my face the whole time I am awake so I want something light and comfy.

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DunesOfSand · 25/10/2018 05:44

We thin DSs +3 lenses.

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CountFosco · 25/10/2018 05:53

I am in the US and think 130 quid a year for my DD's glasses is cheap- is 75 a lot in the UK for glasses?

The NHS pays for eye tests and contributes to the cost of glasses for kids so the prices are lower.

I'm from a family of glasses wearers so when DD needed a pair cost was not an issue, it's important she has comfortable glasses that she thinks are 'cool'. So she got Raybans Blush. DH didn't get a say, he's not a glasses wearer.

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LightastheBreeze · 25/10/2018 06:05

YANBU, I think we paid a bit extra for DS' s glasses to get a bit nicer ones and when he was about 13-14 we started paying about £25 per month for disposable contact lenses as they are not provided by the NHS. We paid that until he finished university.

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