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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have spend 75pounds on lenses for ds 7

66 replies

dentydown · 25/10/2018 00:30

Ds 7 has quite bad eye sight. His prescription is +6.50 and +7.00, and he has to wear his glasses all the time.
I paid 75 pounds for ultra thin lenses for him, because the optician warned me standard lenses would be very thick and would stand out. (We have some of his previous weaker prescriptions and they are about 7mm thick and stand out 4mm from the frame)
We went through the options with the dispensing optician and basically ds is going to have ultra thin lenses, specially made and fitted (will take longer - 5 days) and they should appear like normal glasses.
He has broken his glasses before, but they just swapped the lenses out at no extra cost.
DP is saying they saw me coming. It’s christmas every day and it’s too much to spend for a child.
My argument is, I had the money there (I put it away for this), he wears them everyday, he’s 7 and he doesn’t want great thick heavy lenses on his face. He has broken his glasses frames in the past, but it was a case of popping the lenses out and fitting them in a new frame at no extra cost.
Dp spent 300 pounds on glasses for him self and he has half the strength of ds!

OP posts:
CupoBlood · 25/10/2018 06:12

What a dick.

Well he can offset by spending only £200 on his next glasses can't he!

ChalkDoodler · 25/10/2018 06:14

@luckybird07 children get a free eye test every year thanks to our lovely NHS, plus they get, I think, £80 voucher toward a pair of glasses. Some glasses are within this price so cost you nothing. Some are more expensive and so you have to pay the difference.

Ds2 was 5 when he started wearing glasses, we have paid for thinned lenses from day 1 as they said they would be very heavy on his little face and he could end up with headaches.

I have also paid £150 for prescription sunglasses with polarised lenses for Ds2 who is now 12. Normally we get them as a buy one get one free offer from Specsavers but the timings were out for our holiday so I just forked it out.

Ds2's lenses were strong, now reduced as he as got older but comfort is the biggest factor. If they hurt they won't wear them. He was under the eye hospital for over a year and his incredible improvement of his prescription was because he wore his glasses religiously.

Maybe your Dh should think that most opticians see the adults coming. If you look online there are lots of companies that do cheap frames. £300 for glasses is madness. It is metal/plastic and glass Grin My eldest son also wears glasses but not all the time. He is in the adult section and starts at the cheap end and works his way down.

We all wear glasses, we just pay it because we want to look nice and they need to be comfortable.

Eliza9917 · 25/10/2018 06:22

I'm -4.50 in contact lenses, I only wear glasses at home and I always pay for thinner lenses. Your husband is an arse.

Justgivemesomepeace · 25/10/2018 06:23

Is 'DP' your son's dad? Does he resent you spending money on him in general? He's being a right areshole. You did the right thing. You did the right thing getting your son the best glasses you can. Tell him to get stuffed.

Thenewdoctor · 25/10/2018 06:29

Shop around for glasses for him in future would be my advice. Try , specsavers orAsda for eg as independents tend to be dearer.

That bring said, I’d have thinned them to.

Redken24 · 25/10/2018 06:33

he spent all that on a weaker prescription and he's giving you a hard time?

Bellend.
They must have given you a decent discount really - tell him to shut up.over the course of a year that is nothing for everyday glasses.

Purplejay · 25/10/2018 06:43

I have a -12 prescription and have thinner lenses. I would happily pay for DS to have them if needed. He wears glasses full time but not a strong prescription and at 12 has had prescription sunglasses this year for the first time. He loves them and they do make such a difference. I have in the past paid for frames too. Non glasses wearers often don’t understand or appreciate the benefits of these things but as your DH wears them, I am surprised he is not more empathetic. You are right to pay the money.

When I was young in my NHS framed with thickish lenses I got picked on. Now wearing glasses is cool. You wear them everyday so want them to make you feel good x

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 25/10/2018 06:48

There are certain purchases where people might decide to go for "basic but gets the job done" rather than spend on "extras" but ffs glasses don't fall into that category or at least shouldn't unless you literally don't have the money.

DS prescription indicates that the thinned lenses are pretty much a necessity. Ask your DP does he really think coke bottle lenses and the discomfort and teasing that would likely go with them is perfectly fine for DS for the sake of saving 75 quid?

Gabilou · 25/10/2018 06:52

As a lifelong glasses wearer this has really annoyed me! I think kids need to like them, the glasses be comfortable, and cool. As an adult, the cost really frustrates me. I have a prism on my lens and the cost means I can’t have multiple pairs... until I found online glasses and now I have a few pairs for different outfits!!!

fizzytonicplease · 25/10/2018 06:53

We have my DS who is 3 lenses thinned out other wise they are so thick and heavy, we get it done at specsavers for £45.

Notquiteagandt · 25/10/2018 06:54

£75 for lens doesnt seem expensive to me. Normal ones in my opticians with zero extras are about that. So unsure how or why he thinks it is some big money making scam.

Stuff like this matters to kids. You did the right thing.

yoyo1234 · 25/10/2018 06:56

This really angered me as well. Your DS wears stronger prescription lenses than your partner and will be most likely more active. Your DS needs to feel comfortable and happy with his glasses.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 25/10/2018 07:10

Your dp is an arse.... Next time he wants new glasses, tell him he can only have ones that he hates and looks hideous in... See how he likes it...

I have similar prescription to your son.... I always have thinning... Otherwise they look shit ans are bloody uncomfortable!

jay55 · 25/10/2018 07:14

Kids glasses look so much worse because the frames are so small when they have thick lenses. You did the right thing.

BikeRunSki · 25/10/2018 07:20

YANBU - your son has a similar prescription to me, and I consider ultra thin lenses a must. I rember the bad old days of heavy glass lenses that pinched my nose and rubbed my ears.

ninemillionbicycles · 25/10/2018 07:25

How selfish, begrudging his child. I would find that so unattractive

Original poster
dentydown · 25/10/2018 07:27

Thanks for the replies! I will be showing him this thread! The optician is a local independent one so that’s why the lenses may be a bit more than a chain. The hospital recommended independent opticians because they are a bit more flexible with suppliers.
He is his son, but his reasoning was glasses are free for kids, and 75 pounds was a bit excessive.
We have tried non thinning and ds did well with them, but he hated them.
It’s probably one of his (DP) funny moments and he will see the light (pardon the pun) when reading all the comments here.

On the plus side, wearing glasses has made ds’s vision a lot better and after a two years of wearing glasses he can now drive a car, bus or lorry with his vision! - it’s a measure they use at the hospital, once he was “allowed” to drive I breathed a sigh of relief!
He tends to screw his face up at me and say “I’m 7, I’m not allowed to drive a car!”

OP posts:
Nottheduchessoftransiyvaniaaaa · 25/10/2018 07:28

Yanbu, my prescription is -5 and I pay for them to be slimmed down. You definitely did the right thing, no child wants to wear milk bottle glasses z

haba · 25/10/2018 07:32

We get DS' thinned to whatever is the most they can manage (it depends on the shape of the frame he's chosen) as he is +9 each eye, and the lenses weigh so much-needed it's a lot for a little boy to have to wear all day, every day. Is he going to moan and prevent you buying sports goggles too (c. £300) when he starts doing proper sports?

Spam88 · 25/10/2018 07:32

Regardless of how they look (which is also important!), they're so heavy if they're not thinned. I never used to bother because I wore contact lenses so only wore my glasses occasionally, but they were so heavy that really I wore them even less than occasionally and then ended up in eye A&E on holiday and got told off by the consultant for overwearing my contacts Blush

I used to try and find the cheapest frames I thought were acceptable, not bother with thinning/coatings etc, but I've had a change of outlook. My current glasses cost something like £350, but god knows over the period I use these I'll waste more money than that on things I don't really need.

Fairylea · 25/10/2018 07:36

I am very short sighted (-10 both eyes) and have had bad eyes since I was very young. My mum always paid for the thinner lenses for me. Wearing strong glasses is awful otherwise- they make your eyes look tiny the thicker the lenses are. You did the right thing. Your dp is a total arse.

bridgetreilly · 25/10/2018 07:43

I can't think of many better things to spend your money on than your child's glasses, tbh.

Yonijust · 25/10/2018 07:45

You have enabled him to see, not spent £75 on a diamond encrusted pencil Confused

bridgetreilly · 25/10/2018 07:46

If you look online there are lots of companies that do cheap frames. £300 for glasses is madness.

Not if the cost of your lenses ends up being over £200, like mine. Thin, because I have a strong prescription. Varifocal, because I am getting old. Anti-glare, because I do a lot of driving. The cost of the frames is the least significant factor in the cost of my glasses. Sometimes you can get a deal that applies to the full cost, but often it's only for frames or frames + standard single vision lenses, which are hopeless for me.

Highpeak · 25/10/2018 07:49

YANBU at all. As someone who always had the cheapest NHS glasses growing up, DD will have the best when the (inevitable) time comes.