Extreme emotions after birth
DiaDiaB · 24/10/2018 23:04
I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy on Monday. The pregnancy was quite traumatic and draining. The birth was so traumatic that it required a debrief. Baby had to be resuscitated after. Just left the hospital. I'm drained, but so in love. He's perfect in every way.
I find myself upset thinking about:
- the birth experience
- inability to breastfeed
- worries about him growing up and missing him being this small
- severe anxiety something will happen to him
- general tearfulness and crying due to being quite overwhelmed:
Will this pass?
Aquamarine1029 · 24/10/2018 23:08
Everything you are feeling is COMPLETELY NORMAL. You have been through a massively traumatic experience that has lasted months, now to top it off you are experiencing the most powerful love that exists. Of course you are feeling a shambles! The best thing you can do is to not try and bury your feelings. Cry, laugh, sleep, and cry some more. Be kind to yourself and be confident that this will pass. Your body and mind just need time to readjust and heal. And please don't be afraid to reach out to your gp and family of you think you need additional support.
BeardofZeus · 24/10/2018 23:09
So so normal as long as it doesn’t persist of linger. Keep talking to people around you, use everything and everyone you can to support you to get rest to recover a little bit .. this will help you to focus on the realities and not overthink about risks. Get advice and support from your midwife/hv/lalecheleague/local fb breastfeeding groups to help to see if issues with BF can be resolved, if not fed is always best. Talk to your gp or hv if you feel you are struggling with your emotions!
Lastly enjoy the smallness.. it’s wonderful but the watching as they grow up and develop and learn negates the nostalgia of their diddyness!
Luffly1 · 24/10/2018 23:11
Yes all normal. The tears in particular are completely normal around three days after giving birth, as your hormones do a massive turnaround.
Congratulations on your lovely baby boy. Mine is now 8 and he’s the light of my life 😍
5foot5 · 24/10/2018 23:12
Isn't day three when the baby blues are meant to kick in?
I had a fairly straightforward pregnancy and delivery but I remember on the third or fourth day I couldn't stop crying. Anything could set me off and that is very out of character for me.
It wore off gradually. That was the worst day but I remained still a bit emotional for several weeks. I think it's fairly normal at that stage.
DiaDiaB · 24/10/2018 23:13
Thanks all, I've never even heard of the baby blues?
UpstartCrow · 24/10/2018 23:13
Its normal; but in your case as you had a traumatic birth you might benefit from having someone like a counsellor to talk it through
MoaningSickness · 24/10/2018 23:18
I had a fairly traumatic birth and experienced similar. Overwhelming almost scary love for baby. Heart pounding terror something bad might happen to them. Guilt about things I'd done 'wrong' (mostly out of my control). Hideous memories of the birth that made me cry/feel terrified whenever I remembered them.
For me at least, it all levelled out/became less intense with time (and a lot of talking things through with my DH). It was slow, but it did get better.
But, if you feel you need help/counseling etc, please do ask your midwife/doctor etc. There is help available.
And whatever you decide, be kind to yourself. It's a big deal, what you went through. There's a lot to process, and a with a newborn you have a lot on your plate right now.
Aquamarine1029 · 24/10/2018 23:20
The baby blues are very real and nearly every new mum experiences them to some extent. It's all because of the hormonal hurricane our bodies go through after birth. As I said before, being kind and patient with yourself is the most important thing you can do! You will get through this and you'll have so much joy with your gorgeous baby!
AlphaBravo · 24/10/2018 23:20
I'm the same 17m down the line. It's what trauma does to us.
MicroManaged · 24/10/2018 23:25
Normal and should pass in a few days or weeks.
I had random, seemingly cause-less panic attacks for days after having my last...mw said it was hormonal and it passed after a week or two.
Camelsinthegobi · 24/10/2018 23:25
Very normal- I’ve had this with all 3 of mine. It’s the hormones. It lasted a few days, and up to a month/6 weeks with DS2 but reducing in intensity. If it doesn’t get better at all, or lasts too long then see your GP - mine were wonderful at this time.
Jupiter15 · 24/10/2018 23:26
Very normal. Usually worst when your milk comes in a few days after birth. There is a huge hormonal shift. It should ease off though. Having said that, some people who have had a traumatic birth may develop PTSD so if it becomes too much do seek help.
Re breastfeeding difficulties. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support.
sourpatchkid · 24/10/2018 23:33
Day 5 is supposed to be one of the worst.
I cried about everything for about 6 months after DS was born but I knew I was alright - I'd say keep an eye on it but its really normal for now
mouthkisses · 24/10/2018 23:50
Absolutely normal, but post birth 'normal' is a massive spectrum. If your feelings are hard to manage or you find yourself unable to eat or sleep, then definitely seek help. It doesn't mean anything is 'wrong' just that maybe your thoughts are more intense and unpleasant than most. Your traumatic birth will be playing a role but my lovely midwife told me some women are more susceptible to the massive drop in hormones too. Don't suffer.
Clairenewbie · 25/10/2018 00:00
Yes it passes, those feelings are the worst, you done the crying for no reason yet? Not normal crying but the breakdown sobbing?
Just hormones going back to normal but nobody tells new mums about that part after having a baby. It usually goes away in a few days
Sicario · 25/10/2018 00:06
Sending heaps of love to you. It's all normal, totally overwhelming, but do keep an eye on it and take care of yourself. And congratulations on your beautiful baby! You're doing brilliantly. Do reach out - this lovely community is right here for you.
DiaDiaB · 25/10/2018 12:45
Thank you everyone. I'm finding this really tough.
Why am I worried so much about him growing up? I'm worried I'll miss him being this small and it's making me enjoy my time with him less as I'm worried about him getting bigger. Is that ridiculous?
I'm just tired and emotional and feel completely weird. I just love him an overwhelmingly huge amount and can't seem to comprehend that...
Nothisispatrick · 25/10/2018 12:49
Completely normal. I had a traumatic birth in September with DD needing resuscitation and chest compressions, then swept off to neo natal and I barely got to even touch her. I felt like death for a week afterwards, tearful, scared of something happening to her, exhausted. She’s three and a half weeks now and I feel so much better. Still worried all the time but I think that’s just parenting.
SharpLily · 25/10/2018 12:51
About three to four days after birth there is a massive hormonal situation happening. This is completely normal. In my case I remember being so happy - I had a good birth experience with a much wanted, healthy and beautiful baby, a wonderful husband, was so happy with my life but found I just couldn't stop crying. I'd been well informed that this would happen so I just went with it but oh God it was still awful!
It will pass. Unfortunately a certain amount of worry and guilt is an absolutely standard part of motherhood too but you learn how to deal with it in time. If, on the other hand, a few weeks or months down the line you are not coping, do seek help. That also is completely normal.
Nothisispatrick · 25/10/2018 12:51
Oh and I forgot to mention the breastfeeding trees. Milk can take longer to come in after a traumatic birth. We’ve now settled on a good routine of combi feeding as the breastfeeding was badly affecting my mental health.
Spanglyprincess1 · 25/10/2018 12:55
Congratulations! My birth wasn't as traumatic but was very very fast and cord round his neck/distress and three bad tares which needed surgery straight after. I was very much freaked out when I left hospital and couldn't sleep cause I was watching him breath and then crying. It's normal I think but keep an eye on it as I did get slight pnd which I sought help for.
Your baby is fine which is main thing and so are you! Enjoy him!
Flynnshine · 25/10/2018 12:57
I felt so incredibly hideous in the days following birth. I couldn't breastfeed, I was in pain from burst stitches and if someone had come along within those first few days and said, we can take your daughter away and everything can go back to how it was I would have snapped their hand off. I was MISERABLE!
Looking back I'm sad the first few days were so awful but they did pass and now I'm glad I didn't let a random stranger take my child! Give yourself a break you and your body have been through a huge shock and you have been given the task to keep a human being alive. You're bound to be overwhelmed! x
IJustLostTheGame · 25/10/2018 13:00
Normal normal normal.
Don't bottle it up to yourself, talk about it. I found that helpful.
It will get better. The first few weeks are car crash after car crash.
It took five days for my milk to come in, and my birth wasn't as traumatic as yours. Keep going and don't be afraid to ask for help or make your own decisions.
TeddybearBaby · 25/10/2018 13:28
I became obsessed with cot death. The midwife was amazing. Went above and beyond. She became my hero tbh. I’m not sure if it’s the same now but they would come to the house to see me / baby and then the health visitors took over.
Anyway I’d read a statistic about cot death and I wouldn’t let it drop. I remember her saying in her Irish accent ‘a great big boy like him?!’ She was so reassuring. She bought a human dummy along one week and showed me how to resuscitate if I needed to. She left me with it to practice as well 🙈. I’m still amazed she did all that for me. Looking back I was a wreck, I was obsessed with something happening to him / someone taking him. I kept on sobbing and saying ‘I just love him!!’
He’s 11 now and I still love him 😂😉 but he goes off on the bus with his mates and I’m not wailing anymore. Seriously though it did pass. I’ve always been over protective tbh but I’ve got better as time has gone by, it’s a lot to do with hormones and it all being so new.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.