I live in a house share and my friend has an associate coming to stay at the weekend. Someone she agreed to let stay knowing we don't have a spare room. The associate is to stay in her room, which is all good. She's free to have whoever she wants to stay. However she has decided that she's going to share my bed/room with me this weekend or because she knows I'm thinking of going away at the weekend she wants to use my room and let her guest have hers.
She never asked me any of this but assumed that it would be ok with me and basically came in and TOLD me that she'd either be sleeping with me and sharing my room or she'd be using my room herself while I'm away. If she'd of asked I'd either have considered it or been comfortable telling her no. Because I have ASD, OCD, ODD, PDA and Anxiety, my room is my safe space, my bubble of security where nothing is moved or changed without my say so. It's where I go to escape from the world.
If I invite a guest depending on my relationship with the guest I'd either sleep with them, on the floor in my room, the sofa or the floor in a friends room. And I'd not invite them before checking that my other housemates were ok with that. I would never presume that I could dictate where I was sleeping.
She made brief mention of sleeping on the couch but then said that obviously she's not going to do that because she can share with me, as the couch isn't as comfortable as a bed and it means she'd have to stay up later because she likes to be in bed and asleep by eleven and our housemates/friends obviously don't especially on a weekend and then be up early because of the poor blinds/curtain situation plus housemates that are early risers coming into the lounge. And I can't see why she thought sharing with me would be much better. I have RLS so my legs twitch and jerk all night. I sleep four four/five hours a night max which is why I have the room furthest from everyone else's so I don't disturb anyone when I'm up past four and awake before eight.
I don't want her in my room if I'm here or not and I especially don't want to leave her my room keys while I'm not here. But she is emotionally immature and I can't tell her this without her crying or going into a strop which is going to damage our friendship which in all other respects is great. She is usually a great friend if occasionally thoughtless like this. She's 19 so it's to be expected sometimes I suppose. But because she's not given me a choice I feel backed into a corner and I'm not happy. But I have to live with her at least another year so I need to keep the peace as much as possible.
It's the assuming and telling me what is happening that has annoyed me more than anything especially as I don't see why I should be inconvenienced and stressed because she's decided to invite a guest based on an incorrect assumption that I'd not expect any rational person to have.