Any good Shakespeare quotes for this?

[PigeonFromHell]

Something for a professional work situation that says:
Oh for fucks sake,
you're taking the piss,
or you fucking what?

Something that stops me swearing while also sounding cultured.

'Thou liest! Thou jesting monkey, thou!'

There are loads of great Shakespearian insults...

You could shut a conversation down with: “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”

It's not relevant to your context, but my fave Shakespearean insult has always been, again from 'The Tempest': 'as leaky as an unstanched wench'...nothing like the image of a menstruating woman to silence a room!

Time shall unfold what plighted cunning hides:
(Who cover faults, at last shame them derides)

Sort of means - you'll be found out in the end, you twat.

Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch!

What, you egg? Young fry of treachery!

www.buzzfeed.com/sarahgalo/happy-451st-birthday-to-the-bard

"What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind." From Julius Caesar.

www.shakespeare-online.com/quotes/shakespeareongreed.html

Aside from direct insults, I can't think of anything offhand. Sorry, OP.

No good for this but handy for throwing at your children once in a while
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child".

“I scorn you, scurvy companion. “
Henry IV Part II (Act 2, Scene 4)

I love these, though some may be appropriate just to mutter inside my own head.

What's the matter you dissentious rogues that rubbing the poor itch of your opinion make yourselves scabs?

@longwayoff, that's my favourite Shakespeare quote :)

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

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Me too Hilda, always handy, have been using it to good effect for many years

My favourite one is Beatrice’s cool putdown of Benedick in Much Ado: I wonder that you will still be talking. Nobody marks you.

‘More matter with less art’

“ infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”
All’s Well That Ends Well

King Lear -

“Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.”

When we studied Romeo and Juliet at school we thought “do you bite your thumb at us sir?” “I bite my thumb, sir, but I do not bite my thumb at you sir” was hilarious and we used it often. Even occasionally now - 20 odd years later - if one of the group is being arsey someone will ask “do you bite your thumb”

I'll speak to thee in silence (Cymbeline)

Then adopt an expression to match!

Not relevant for the situation but I like 'you painted maypole' from AMSND. It means you are stupid. Wood with make up. Also enjoy 'cankerblossom' from the same scene.

Rose yes but also because Helena is the tall one!

"Away, you three-inch fool! "

"Away, you three-inch fool! "

My DW's favourite phrase.

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.( a personal fave!) 😀