Any good Shakespeare quotes for this?

[PigeonFromHell]

Something for a professional work situation that says:
Oh for fucks sake,
you're taking the piss,
or you fucking what?

Something that stops me swearing while also sounding cultured.

‘Go shake your ears’ (Maria to Malvolio in Twelfth Night) Basically the 16th century way of saying ‘Go f*ck yourself!’

I do like that one Mammysin, I like to think I'd use as a retort to a poor chat up line should the occasion ever require it.

“Give thy thoughts no tongue” Hamlet
“there’s many a man hath more hair than wit” Comedy of Errors
“Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuits after voyage” As you like it, but it has a ring of Blackadder about it.

Just thought of another

“Art thou a comedian?” Twelfth Night

A pox on your throat
You boring, blasphemous uncharitable goat.

A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

"[insert annoying colleague's name] speaks an infinite deal of nothing.” (The Merchant of Venice). Pithy and precise!

Also agree you could get far with rolled eyes and a muttered "Lord, what fools these mortals be!” (A Midsummer Night's Dream)

I like the 'battle of wits' one but I think it's one of those falsely attributed ones... found a few suggesting it was As you like it but I can't find any evidence for it.

Mammysin

Last time I heard "battle of wits" was in a recent Upstart Crow.

That battle of wits one isn’t Shakespeare though.

Go thy ways! meaning
"Go thy ways. I begin to be aweary of thee.
(All's Well that Ends Well)

Pish! meaning
'It is not words that shakes me thus! Pish!' (Othello)

Tilly-Vally!

"Draw, you rascal! Come your ways!' (King Lear)

Quote Investigator's research on the battle-of-wits-unarmed quote.