To be upset?

[Blablablablablabla62]

Extension has fallen through. Means unable to have more DC. Which means mine will be essentially an only child and grow up quite lonely.

Same day we find this out we also find out DF court proceedings won't go ahead due to not qualifying for costs. Which means his EW will be able to ignore the court order in place even more.

Which means my DC will see their half siblings even less. And miss out on holidays and that with them. Until we can get the funds to take EW back to court again. And with her nature this will be a common theme.

I know I am being unreasonable to feel so down and stressed. But my DC is only a few months old and all I want is the best life for her. And I feel resentful that ex will have such an impact on her relationship with her siblings

Child arrangements order. It's more getting the writing to be more specific. As despite it saying things like "must be agreed between both parties" and being told in court she can not deny him holidays, she will then book holidays without discussing it with DF and then deny any on his end. If he brings up what was said in court or the court order wording itself she will say "yes agreed between us both. And I don't agree. So ha" basically.

She also will make plans with the children o. His weekends and then tell him if he wants to see them he will need to say they can't do xyz with her. Which obviously he doesn't do as it wouldn't be fair to them.

I have been keeping a diary of e,everything.to do with her and what she does with dates and times etc. DF keeps all communication via email or text so he does have proof.

I do agree that I wouldn't bring another child into this regardless. I feel guilty enough for the three already involved (my DC and sc) . It is no life for children to live.

I mean this gently but I think your pnd is talking and it's catastophising.

Just try it take a step back and not think things through to the worst possible conclusion. There is no reason to think your child won't be a happy loved and fulfilled child.

Let things settle for a while. Enjoy your new baby. Sort thr pnd out, and in a year or two at least think about whether you wish to extend your family.

Maybe also speak to your hcp and explain your negative thoughts and current state of mind, maybe there is something more they can do.

He does want more DC. Just is a bit scared of how the EW will act and how that will impact contact with the SC.

I do agree I'm dramatising things. I will talk to my pnd woman when I see her next. I have been very emotional in general and the only happiness I seem to find lately is in my DC. I think this is why I'm so scared I wont give her the best life.

I don't really follow why the extension plan fell through, can't you still have it anyway?

Thank you.

I took your advice and gave my DC a bubble bath. When she has a bottle I think I will take her for a walk.

Thank you again everyone. It has helped just to vent a bit.

Not quite sure on the extension information either if I'm honest. I will find out more and hopefully contest it. I can't see why as we aren't overlooked, nor would it be taking over more land than the whole 50% things they say.

Not quite sure on the extension information either if I'm honest. I will find out more and hopefully contest it. I can't see why as we aren't overlooked, nor would it be taking over more land than the whole 50% things they say.

Oh, I see - it's a planning issue? I hadn't seen that and thought you were saying he EW had something to do with the extension falling through.

Well, yes, have a look into it and appeal or make adjustments to the plan.

I do agree with previous posters, you sound very down and are maybe making unjustified assumptions about your DC's future life. I have a brother who I loathe, the feeling is mutual, we never contact each other, so he's no use in helping me not feel lonely! No doubt your DC will miss the DSC when they are not there but equally they might enjoy the more focused time with the parents, who really knows. :)

I do agree I'm down. Very down infact. As much as I love my DF, DC and SC sometimes I wish I had never gotten involved.

For years the EW has been causing problems and it has seriously been affecting my already fragile mental health.

The fact I can't even now plan a family properly or risk my DC being upset just feels like the final straw.

I spoke to my DF about getting on board with all the drama and keeping things calmer for me etc and he ended up just having a go at me for making him feel terrible for his shit hurting me. He already knows I'm very depressed. All I want to do is distance myself from the shit so I can just be excited to plan a wedding and focus on my daughter.

As it stands all our big things (and my firsts) have been ruined or overshadowed by exw drama.

I feel like all my happiness is being sucked out of me. He's a good DF in every other aspect. But doesn't handle the stress well of EW and his way is shutting down and avoiding it all. Which just causes a bigger shit storm and more crap.

Nor do I think it's fair he moans for me saying how it makes me feel. It isn't my fault his life is made difficult by her. It shouldnt affect me also and if it does a bit of empathy from him would be nice! If he kept on top of it all more it wouldn't be so overwhelming now.