To feel upset and shamed by this ?

[rippedjeans98]

Changed my name for this thread because I'm scared I'll get bashed.

I got on my bus as usual this morning with my pram and a couple of stops after a disabled man in a wheelchair and his mother got on, they were both foreign with poor English, the man also had difficulties with his speech, I was ovbiously friendly as I normally was with why other person, he began to try and touch my 15 month year olds hand which I let him as I would let an old lady touch her hand, but after a few times it became ovbious my daughter didn't want him to touch her and she kept pushing him away, but he kept trying at which point I became uncomfortable and tried to explain politely to his mother that she didn't want him to touch her, my daughter was tired and getting very irritable, the mother didn't seem to understand or if she did she didn't try and stop him, so I tried to move the pram slightly, at this point I was feeling embarrassed and warm as the bus was packed and everyone was looking. Then he kept trying to talk to me, and I really couldn't understand what he was saying so I kept smiling and nodding and then he unmistakably touched my crotch, shocked I looked a him and moved myself away as I didn't really know what to do, then as he was getting off the bus he moved to reach for my crotch another two times and succeeded once again. As someone who has been sexually abused I now feel really shaken and upset, also embarrassed and uncomfortable as everyone on the bus saw, AIBU for being shaken and upset by this ?

also the title is wrong, I meant to put embarrassed not shamed

YANBU, that must have been incredibly upsetting. It’s not clear whether the man was capable of knowing that he was doing something wrong depending on his disabilities, but if so his mother should have prevented him from doing so.

I’m sorry you were so upset, it’s totally understandable why you would be.

YADefinitelyNBU. What the above poster said.
Did his mother see what he was doing? How did she react?
You can report to the police.

Sounds yuk! Poor you

Please report to the police today... They can chase the bus cctv and find the bloke....

It's up to them to investigate....

We have no way of knowing whether he is ill and doesn't know what he's doing (unlikely...)

Hes a predatory sex offender hiding behind (real?) physical disability.

Unacceptable on all levels and probably illegal (of he h

If he's ill, they can at least approach the mother /carer and tell them to be much more careful

Yanbu poor you op!
Did his mother not see him behaving like a pervert. I would have said something.

Oh OP, that's awful, how horrible for you.

I'd call 101, I bet there's CCTV on the bus and disability or not this can't be allowed to happen.

How scary, hope your recovering from the shock op! I'd report this to police. If he has ld it's a safe guarding issue that needs to be addressed. 

Absolutely needs reporting to the police.

Even if he has disabilities regardless if they be psychical or mental ones, it’s still not on and shame on the mother/care person for not stopping him!

You are of course not unreasonable to be upset by it

Oh my gosh, that's horrendous OP. I'm so sorry, it must have been awful for you.

I don't know why you'd think you'd be bashed for posting this, I can't think that you'd have anything other than complete support. Please do get in touch with the bus company and the police, and take this further, it's absolutely unacceptable.

So sorry

I would feel upset too.
Did he maybe have some learning disabilities? Even so, his mother should have stopped him.

I've just gotten home and rang my mum and ended up crying down the phone to her, I will report to police but I can't see what they could possibly do about it, I feel like they will think I'm wasting their time. Im really shook up and feel awful and shivery, I just feel so embarrassed by the whole thing. The mother said nothing and seemed to ignore it and everyone on the bus could see I was clearly uncomfortable and said nothing but if I said nothing I suppose they had no reason too, Thankyou for the support, I feel so upset z

I would report this.

I'm not really sure how severely disabled he was, he was in a wheelchair and has difficulty with his speech but asked how old I was and how old my daughter was so I'm presuming he has some kind of knowledge as to what he was going. I feel awful about the whole thing.

If the man's only disability appeared to be physical then I would report it, but if he seemed to have learning/mental difficulties then it's possible he did not know?

That's awful! So sorry you went through that OP! I would seriously consider reporting if you can.

That's awful. It's not for you to make the decision about his ability to understand. Report it to the police and they will at the very least support you, you should definitely report it

OP... Honestly the police WILL take you seriously...

If he has LD /no capacity they can chat to his carers...

He may just have speech difficulties with speech and be perfectly aware of his actions... As in he's a sex offender...

Let

PS
The police can do plenty... Cease the cctv, speak to local care homes if it's I...

Let the police investigate...

Sieze cctv... Circulate images to agencies.... Social services may be involved...
Then they discover his name, any condition, and then they can prosecute....

OP that sounds an absolutely horrendous experience, I can understand why are you upset. I would report to the police immediately.

I know it's difficult, afterall we're socialised to be polite, however in future please do not let anyone touch your child, a firm 'no please do not touch my child and move the child away' will suffice. It really is not appropriate to touch other people's children. I don't care what disability may or may not be involved.

Just yesterday there was a representative from TfL on the news urging people to report all instances of abusive/oppressive behaviour - the context was being on a bus with guys watching porn on their phones. So, OP, do report it, both to the bus company and to the police. If there is CCTV footage, so much the better. If the guy knew what he was doing, then he needs to stopped. And if he didn't know what he was doing, his poor mother needs help before her son gets his head kicked in.

Everyone probably ignored it because they are too scared to say something because of his disability. His mother ignoring it is just allowing him to do that. Report it. One of them needs to be accountable for this.

If the man's only disability appeared to be physical then I would report it, but if he seemed to have learning/mental difficulties then it's possible he did not know?

In which case his mother shouldn't have allowed it to happen. Please go to the police OP and let them deal with it