To feel upset and shamed by this ?

[rippedjeans98]

Changed my name for this thread because I'm scared I'll get bashed.

I got on my bus as usual this morning with my pram and a couple of stops after a disabled man in a wheelchair and his mother got on, they were both foreign with poor English, the man also had difficulties with his speech, I was ovbiously friendly as I normally was with why other person, he began to try and touch my 15 month year olds hand which I let him as I would let an old lady touch her hand, but after a few times it became ovbious my daughter didn't want him to touch her and she kept pushing him away, but he kept trying at which point I became uncomfortable and tried to explain politely to his mother that she didn't want him to touch her, my daughter was tired and getting very irritable, the mother didn't seem to understand or if she did she didn't try and stop him, so I tried to move the pram slightly, at this point I was feeling embarrassed and warm as the bus was packed and everyone was looking. Then he kept trying to talk to me, and I really couldn't understand what he was saying so I kept smiling and nodding and then he unmistakably touched my crotch, shocked I looked a him and moved myself away as I didn't really know what to do, then as he was getting off the bus he moved to reach for my crotch another two times and succeeded once again. As someone who has been sexually abused I now feel really shaken and upset, also embarrassed and uncomfortable as everyone on the bus saw, AIBU for being shaken and upset by this ?

My daughter was about 8 when an elderly man with a walking stick walked past our house. She said he was a horrible man. I found out he had touched her inappropriately on the bus. I told the police and discovered that another mum also reported him. The police had a word with him. At that stage I didn't want to take it further as that would require my daughter to be interviewed.
So, contact the police and ask for guidance about what happened to you. They might want to contact the bus company to monitor his future behaviour or they might already have complaints about him.

If the man's only disability appeared to be physical then I would report it, but if he seemed to have learning/mental difficulties then it's possible he did not know?

OP needs to report it to police, it is then their job to investigate his disability etc.

I'm sorry that happened to you, OP.

Please know that no one has the right to touch against your will, even if they're disabled. You would have been perfectly right to tell him 'no', 'stop' and even forcibly removing his hand from your body. It's not your job to be kind to people who modest you

*Molest you

You must report this to police. I would have shouted out the first time he did it, at the time and asked if other passengers witnessed it and took their names so police could contact them. If he is not stopped he will go on doing this. Don't let this pervert get away with this shocking behaviour.

Completely agree with PP's, I suspect this won't be the first time it has happened, please report if you can to try to make it the last.

The dirty bastard!

Please report him to the Police OP,this is more than likely not the first time he's done this and God forbid he could go on and do the same to a child.

I say this as someone that is disabled and I have brain damage and 2 of my DC are asd,it sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing and he's using his disability to get away with what he's doing!

I'm so sorry for you, it was a horrible thing to happen. It's an unfortunate fact that sick/disabled people are statistically just as likely to be perverts as those who are able bodied. Happened to me - once with partially sighted man on a bus and once with mentally impaired porter at work. That's life I'm afraid - but it was dreadful for you, can just imagine how you felt and you were so nice too.

The memory will fade - and you will be less open and friendly in future as a consequence.

Report it OP, you have to so that he doesn't do it to anyone else. I've been groped before on buses and at work and its really horrible and I can remember each incident vividly.
I hope your o.k.?

I am sorry this happened to you.

This type of behaviour is never acceptable, whether the perpetrator is disabled or not.

Report it to the police and to the bus company. The bus company will hopefully be able to isolate and save any cctv footage of the incident if you tell them which service you were on, the destination and the time.

The police should investigate further. If there have been previous reports then he could even be known to them.

The police here took it very seriously when my teenage DD was kerb crawled on her morning paper round by an arsehole who was shouting sexist abuse out of his car window. She managed to note down his registration number. I reported him for her using the 101 police number and they were able to trace him. He was visited at his home and received a formal warning. It didn't happen again.

Report it to the bus company too; it’s quite possible it has been recorded. They may not take it any further - or be unable to- but they should be aware. Even if the man has a learning disability that is unacceptable behaviour.