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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

should I dye my greys?

30 replies

Watsername · 23/10/2018 18:21

I have been inspired by the post about how the lady with the afro is treated when wearing her hair naturally....

I have a friend who was working in a professional office environment and was told by a colleague to dye her hair as her greys looked unprofessional.

I am getting a streak of grey and had decided not to dye, but now I wonder whether people will treat me differently because of it?

OP posts:

Hadjab · 23/10/2018 18:23

I’m not going to dye mine, I just can’t be arsed.

ILoveMyMonkey · 23/10/2018 18:24

I have loads of grey and am only 35. I don't intend on dying it and actually quite like.it but I do find that when some people are talking to me they do stare at my head which is quite disconcerting. No-one has ever said anything to my face about it though.

As for your poor friend, I bet if it was a man he wouldn't have been told to dye his grey! Did she do it?

Chocolatecake12 · 23/10/2018 18:27

I admire people who let it go grey naturally without dyeing it but I dye mine regularly as I’m very grey and find it very ageing.

DryIce · 23/10/2018 18:27

I got my first grey hair when I was 19, which seems very unfair! I've always dyed it, but even as a teenager I liked dying my hair weird and wonderful colours.

If I started greying now (mid-30s), I probably wouldn't bother unless I wanted the hair colour - especially if it came as a streak! I think they look fantastic. Mine is boring mousey brown grey with sprinkled grey which is far less dramatic

Lweji · 23/10/2018 18:29

greys looked unprofessional.

WTAF? For all reasons to dye our hair, this is the lamest and least reasonable.

Men aren't asked to dye hair to look professional FFS.

DaysOfCurlySpencer · 23/10/2018 18:31

I tend to put blonde highlights in which lifts it otherwise I find it looks dull. When I leave it for a while I can see how much more grey there is than the last time.

florafawna · 23/10/2018 18:31

Hair can't be professional

bridgetreilly · 23/10/2018 18:35

Grey hair is gorgeous. Dyed hair frequently looks awful, imo.

MrsRubyMonday · 23/10/2018 18:39

I have a grey mallen streak on my parting, I love it. I deliberately spent two years growing out my colour so it was more visible. Never had any negative comments, most people who comment are complimentary. Have your hair how you like it OP, don't worry about others.

Nomorechickens · 23/10/2018 18:43

I think dying your grey hair is like changing your name on marriage - you shouldn't have to do it but I would make the decision on grounds of aesthetics and convenience - can you be bothered to dye your hair, and does it look OK (in your opinion) with grey or is it the wrong type of grey for your taste? (with names - are you swapping an awkward name for one you prefer? Is it easier to keep or change?)

BeautifulPossibilities · 23/10/2018 18:44

Nope I can't be arsed and why is growing older a bad thing?

Sedona123 · 23/10/2018 18:47

Grey is just another colour. Think of it as natural highlights and leave it as it is.

Faster · 23/10/2018 18:50

Eh? How is grey hair unprofessional? I’d love to see someone from HR say that bollocks.
I’m currently growing out bleached highlights and embracing my greys. My bleached bits are currently dyed baby pink cos the orangeyness of them was doing my head in. I work in a professional role and quite frankly my hair doesn’t matter one hot to that.

seven201 · 23/10/2018 18:52

I got my first grey at 18. I'm 36 now and under the dye I'm probably 40% grey. I have very dark hair so my roots are very visible. I'm just not ready to go grey. I don't judge other people and their grey hairs though! Do what you feel comfortable with.

kenandbarbie · 23/10/2018 18:54

I dye the fuck out of those little bastards.

IggyAce · 23/10/2018 18:55

I’ve just turned 40, I dyed my hair just before my birthday and within 3 weeks the grey was coming through. I decided at that point I couldn’t be bothered to keep dying it so I’m letting it go grey.

Bluelady · 23/10/2018 18:57

I found my first grey hair when I was 16 and stopped dyeing it when I was 43. I've been silver for over 20 years, never has anyone made any derogatory comment about it, let alone implied it was unprofessional. Isn't this ageism?

StillMedusa · 23/10/2018 18:57

Gave up dying mine 3 years ago. I'm salt and pepper with a white streak at the front that I love. My hair is in much better condition now.
I don't think I look any older... frankly whatever colour my hair is my face tells me age!

Each to their own... well cut and cared for hair looks best regardless of colour! I'm hoping to go white all over eventually as I love that!

TheShrieksShallInheritTheDeath · 23/10/2018 18:59

I dye my hair which is probably around 40-50% grey. I look younger with it dyed, which I know is not all that important, but I'm nearly 50 and still have youngish DC, so I don't want them to be embarrassed by their "old" mum, nor for anyone to think I'm their gran!

hipposarerad · 23/10/2018 19:06

If a few grey hairs are unprofessional then what would your colleague say if you got alopecia? I agree with the pp who said "hair can't be professional" .

I cba to dye my hair, but it's still a bit of a novelty for me - noticed the first few when I was about 37 (now 41). Tbh the odd grey hair is the least of my worries considering I've got stretchmarks, flabby apron belly and varicose veins that my DP's aunt said make my legs "look like an 80 year old's" (I mean, she's not wrong but still )

Notacluewhatthisis · 23/10/2018 19:10

Do What you want. Whatever makes you happy.

I work for a huge company in their HR, there's plenty of professional women with totally grey hair, hair streaked with grey, roots showing etc. But then we have people with afro hair who wear their hair natural and no one as ever commented that these women look 'unprofessional.

And in fact my greys have been horrendous lately, I will dye then as I like my hair dark. But can't quite be arsed at the moment.

KevinTheYuccaPlant · 23/10/2018 19:15

I don't think you'll be treated differently with just a streak. I decided to stop dying my hair three years ago until earlier this year, when a friend of my mother's came to visit and, in her mid-70s, looked younger than I did at 42. I booked an appointment the following day and my friends and family are universally agreed it's taken about 10 years off me. I thought I was ready to go grey, but it was only when I got it dyed again that I realised how faded and washed out I'd felt with it like that.

SpottyBrolly · 23/10/2018 19:19

If you're comfortable with it embrace the natural silver highlights. I'm 43 and starting to get them, though when I'm fully grey I think i might adopt a Mrs Slocombe(sp) look, I love a blue rinse.

QuickPollPlease · 23/10/2018 19:23

I pay to have mine coloured as close to my usual colour as possible so no-one notices

BringOnTheScience · 23/10/2018 19:28

Embrace the natural silver highlights: you've earned them! Badly showing grey roots in a badger stripe looks unprofessional. Going gently grey does not.

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