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AIBU?

Am I over reacting *potential trigger*

50 replies

iamlosingmymind · 23/10/2018 17:53

I need some help
I'm going to be vague and I'm entirely happy to be told to get a grip but this is torturing me...

So friends child (8) and my child (9) were messing about and friends child touched mine in the costume area whilst playing about... my child v upset.
I mention to friend and she plays it down.

So am I wrong but I think
No this shouldn't even be done as a joke it's not ok.
My child's feelings should not be dismissed.
The other child needs a serious talking to!

Or am I being a bit of a twat....

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ambereeree · 23/10/2018 17:58

No you are not over reacting. I would not be seeing the friend or child again. How did she play it down?

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Iscreamforbenandjerrys · 23/10/2018 17:59

Costume area?

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/10/2018 18:01

Depends what you mean by messing about. Was it deliberate or accidental?

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iamlosingmymind · 23/10/2018 18:01

She actually told me my child is overly sensitive and hers is very naive!

Costume area... pants area but over clothes!

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iamlosingmymind · 23/10/2018 18:02

It was deliberate but none sexual if that makes sense

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alfiesmam · 23/10/2018 18:02

Rubbed off or touched with meaning or what ?

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TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 23/10/2018 18:14

Your use of the term “costume area” - which is bizarre, to say the least - suggests you might be reading more into this than there actually was. If you say yourself that there was no sexual intent behind the touch, what is it that is bothering you?

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iamlosingmymind · 23/10/2018 18:19

Ok what would you like me to call it?
The fact that my child was extremely upset and felt violated...

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Cheeeeislifenow · 23/10/2018 18:22

Not enough detail. What was the game? What's a costume area?

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ambereeree · 23/10/2018 18:23

Parents should be teaching children its unacceptable not minimising behaviour. 9 is too old to blame naivety.

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ninemillionbicycles · 23/10/2018 18:25

This is bizarre. Posters are seriously suggesting op goes no contact with friend and 8yr old child over this non event?

The child needs to apologise for upsetting friend and have a talking to about boundaries. But the hysteria and shaming isn't necessary.

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MacosieAsunter · 23/10/2018 18:26

it was deliberate but none sexual if that makes sense

The fact that my child was extremely upset and felt violated...

costume area


Weird thread of the week

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iamlosingmymind · 23/10/2018 18:26

It was a chase game from what I gather. They were playing for ages but instead of 'tagging' her on the back or hand it was done there. Now this was not a mistake as in both running and it was an accident, they were both standing still as were waiting to come in from outside!

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ThirdChildFourthPile · 23/10/2018 18:26

Girl and a boy?

Both girls?

Both boys?

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MacosieAsunter · 23/10/2018 18:28

And I CBA to do TAAT - but FFS … trigger - the most over used expression on MN

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TedAndLola · 23/10/2018 18:28

Yes, you're over-reacting. The other child needs a quiet reminder that some areas are off bounds, yours needs reassurance (rather than you over-reacting and making it seem worse) and that's it.

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ninemillionbicycles · 23/10/2018 18:28

Girl and a boy?Both girls?Both boys?

How exactly is this relevant in pre pubescent children?

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starzig · 23/10/2018 18:29

I doubt an 8 yr old would mean anything sexual by it. Just explain that it is not a nice place to touch someone and monitor the situation. Tell you DD it didn't mean anything and friend has been told not to do it again and tell her to come to you immediately if they do.

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Taylor22 · 23/10/2018 18:30

On the bum?

You sound over dramatic so far so you need to explain more.

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iamlosingmymind · 23/10/2018 18:30

Thanks star
It's what I did!

I didn't over react

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Cheeeeislifenow · 23/10/2018 18:31

Then it's done op. Nothing else to do.

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BlueUggs · 23/10/2018 18:33

Please teach your child proper biological terms for parts of their body!!! Costume area?! WTAF?

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TedAndLola · 23/10/2018 18:34

Please teach your child proper biological terms for parts of their body!!! Costume area?! WTAF?

Also this. YAB-doubly-U.

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ThirdChildFourthPile · 23/10/2018 18:36

Because boys can be eejits that think it's 'amusing' to hit each other in the testicals.

Something that absolutely requires reprimanding but isn't a stark safeguarding issue.

However I'm sure you can imagine, if a boy is touching a girl on the private's even over the clothes then it very much could be safeguarding issue.

That's how it is relevant. I honestly didn't think I would have to spell that out and use an example but I forget how pedantic people in MN can be.

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Cloglover · 23/10/2018 18:40

Children grabbing at another child's pants area/genitals whilst wrong is quite commonplace. You said it wasn't meant in a sexual way which is the main thing. Other child needs to know its wrong, and your child needs to be reassured that it was wrong and the other child should not have done it. Other mum needs to know its wrong otherwise sending mixed messages. Odd to say triggering if not sexual. Odd to say 'costume area'

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