Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do I tackle this

32 replies

Gorta · 23/10/2018 17:49

I’m a mum of three, two have autism. We have had a behavioral therapist (BCBA) come to house to support our son for the last two years. She comes for a three hour session and charges 220. We only have an appointment every three weeks. Last Saturday I was away and she turned up unexpectedly, I had mixed up the dates! It was the first time that had happened. My son had a previous engagement so she only worked with him for an hour. My husband paid her 220. I presumed she would give us a longer session at our next appointment but she informed me today that she wouldn’t be. I’m so upset life is hard enough without being screwed over. Yes I made a mistake but who expects 220 for one hours work? What would you do?

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 23/10/2018 17:53

What a CF!!! IMO she owes you two hours now as you paid for three hours and she only provided one!

Yes, it was your fault but you have a longstanding arrangement and she should be understanding. It’s not like she came to you and you were out, she still did get to do an hour. As you say, life is hard enough for you.

bridgetreilly · 23/10/2018 17:53

She came to the appointment as booked and deserves to be paid the full amount. It's not her fault you weren't there and your son wasn't able to have the full session. Because of the booking, she wouldn't have been able to see another client in that time. She shouldn't lose out.

Sorry.

Wolfiefan · 23/10/2018 17:55

You mixed up the dates.
She shouldn’t lose money because of it.

bridgetreilly · 23/10/2018 17:55

Plus, no matter how hard life might be for you, you actually have no idea how hard life is for her. Why should she be messed around?

MeteorMedow · 23/10/2018 17:57

OP I understand life is hard and finances are tight but you wasted two hours of her working day which are charged at X amount. In order to give you an extra two hours back for free now she would miss out on X amount.

Basically what you asking is ‘can you please take the financial hit so we don’t have to, even though it was my own fault?’

These things happen and we all mix up times sometimes but you’re being a CF if you expect her to absorb the cost.

MsJaneAusten · 23/10/2018 17:59

I’m sorry. I really feel for you and it was obviously a genuine mistake but I’d expect her to be paid in full, just like if you needed to cancel, say, a childminder slot or a nursery place.

I’m fascinated by the idea of a behaviour therapist though. How did you find her? Simple google? My DS could definitely benefit but I’ve never heard of such a service.

crispysausagerolls · 23/10/2018 18:04

Are people ignoring the fact that she has been coming to OP for two years? Surely they have a good working relationship and a one off mistake should just be overlooked due to this? I would be annoyed if I were here but for the sake of the 3.5k a year she gets from OP she could just suck up 146£ this once.

Wolfiefan · 23/10/2018 18:06

Why should she? What if other clients make the same mistake? This is a business relationship.

Frogscotch7 · 23/10/2018 18:07

She turned up and should be paid. Sucks for you but she’s done nothing wrong.

Blanchedupetitpois · 23/10/2018 18:08

I am sympathetic but I think YABU. It was your mistake and she shouldn’t lose money for that. She may have only done an hour’s work but she lost the opportunity to fill the other two hours you unexpectedly didn’t use with something else.

Chalk it up to experience and let it go.

SillySallySingsSongs · 23/10/2018 18:08

There is no way she shoukd be iut of pocket.this wasn't her fault.

SillySallySingsSongs · 23/10/2018 18:09

*No way she should be out of pocket. This wasn't her fault.

Blanchedupetitpois · 23/10/2018 18:10

Are people ignoring the fact that she has been coming to OP for two years? Surely they have a good working relationship and a one off mistake should just be overlooked due to this?

If the therapist had failed to turn up without warning would you be saying OP still had to pay for the session?! Of course not!

Someone here has to take the financial hit and since it was OP’s mistake, it should be OP who pays for it.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/10/2018 18:12

I'm sorry that you are upset OP.Flowers

She hasn't cheated you and she isn't being unfair. Your DS wasn't there, but it was still 3 hours that were booked and she couldn't book anyone else in during that time. She is operating within well established professional boundaries.

Youade a mistake, have a rant/cry, chalk it up to experience and get on with life.BrewCake

Lethaldrizzle · 23/10/2018 18:12

I had no idea they get paid so well!

TheSmallAssassin · 23/10/2018 18:16

Why should the therapist have to suck up nearly £150? The OP made a mistake. The OP is budgeting to spend that every three weeks, so it makes no odds to her finances, whereas it would be quite a hole in the therapist's pocket. If it was that important to get the therapy, ditch the clashing appointment, don't expect to get the time made up for free!

Bestseller · 23/10/2018 18:16

It's hard on you but of course she should be paid. It's her living and you'd made the arrangement and she's booked the time out. She couldn't use the time to earn anything elsewhere.

It's like you turning up at work on the allotted day and boss saying sorry I wanted you tomorrow and refusing to pay. Would that be OK?

seven201 · 23/10/2018 18:20

I feel for you but she lost those two working hours. She didn't leave yours after an hour then go to a replacement client. Those hours she can't get back. Of course she should be fully paid. I'd be kicking myself too though so I do understand why you're upset.

crispysausagerolls · 23/10/2018 18:22

When I was tutoring whilst at uni, similar happened to me lots of times - more often than not I just swallowed the financial loss for the sake of good relations and because it was a mistake etc. I suppose I would say it would make a difference to my opinion if she had travelled a long distance for the appointment.

Eliza9917 · 23/10/2018 18:24

What was the clashing appointment?

WatchingFromTheWings · 23/10/2018 18:29

It's not her fault appointments clashed. She definitely shouldn't lose out on money because of that.

WatchingFromTheWings · 23/10/2018 18:30

To the question 'what would you do?' I'd consider it an expensive mistake and try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Sparklesocks · 23/10/2018 18:30

It’s frustrating but she wouldn’t have had time to fill those extra 2 hours at short notice, so her day would’ve been 2 hours worth of pay down when the error wasn’t hers. I know how tough it is when you’re on a tight budget, but I think a lot of self employed people/small businesses would charge the full amount.

Glumglowworm · 23/10/2018 18:31

YABU

it was your mistake. Your mistake wasted 2 hours of her working day. Why on earth should she take the financial hit so you don’t have to?

I used to do a hobby where I paid an instructor for her time. Once (and it was only once) I missed a lesson without notice, entirely my fault, not hers. So of course I apologised for messing her around and asked if she wanted me to transfer her the money for the missed time or just pay the cash next time I saw her (I usually paid cash). We had a great working relationship and were friends. But I’m not a CF and I don’t want a good working relationship to be soured because of my mistake.

Glumglowworm · 23/10/2018 18:32

When I say I offered to pay her cash, I mean cash for the missed time, on top of the cash I would be paying her for the next time