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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irrationally irritated by Morrisons trolley collector today

112 replies

pippa737 · 23/10/2018 17:12

I know he meant well, but he really pissed me off!

I had a bunch of stuff in my trolley - about 60 items... shower gels, shampoos, chocolate bars, crisps, talc, washing powder, fruit, cream crackers, tinned food, veg, frozen food, fridge food (like milk and yogurts,) bread, etc. I pushed the trolley back to my car and I started pulling everything out of the boot, and opened my cool bag for the fridge and freezer stuff. I had bathroom and kitchen stuff, smelly stuff, frozen items, fridge items, tins, packets that would easily crush, so was taking my time.

I had packed about a third of my stuff away, and this guy comes up to me and says 'can I take your trolley Madam?' I said 'er no thanks, I am still unpacking...' He said 'I'll wait,' and stood there while I carried on pulling the stuff out (and making me feel under pressure to hurry!) Hmm

So then I said 'the joints in my hands are a bit inflamed today, so I will take a while putting it all away, so it's OK I don't need you to take the trolley, I can take it back in a few minutes......' So then he said 'I will help you then,' and proceeded to start picking my foodstuffs and goods out of my trolley, and shoving it all over my car boot. Tins of beans on top of my bloody crisps and cream crackers and all sorts! Confused Which are now somewhat crushed! Hmm

So I gathered up everything as quick as poss, and lumped it all in the boot just to get rid of him!

'Here's the trolley then' I said. 'There you go, saved you a job taking it back haven't I?' he said smugly!

The more I thought about it, the more bloody annoyed I got. I TOLD him I didn't need - or want his help, and he kept pushing and pushing, making me feel flustered and rushed and irritated.

So if any MORRISONS manager is reading this, please tell your staff to not do stuff like this! If you offer someone help, and they say 'no thank you,' respect their decision. Don't push it on them. It's patronising and rude, and puts people under pressure.

To add insult to injury, because I was irritated and flustered, I didn't zip up my cool bag, and my frozen food had started to thaw out by the time I got home! Hmm

Sorry, I needed to rant somewhere about this! And hopefully someone from Morrisons sees it!

(nc for this by the way. Didn't want to use my regular username sorry!)

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 23/10/2018 19:16

Even though you're aware this employee might well have additional needs? I don't see why you get so stressed and flustered you can't deal with it yourself the next time it happens.

Pinkyyy · 23/10/2018 19:21

To be honest it seems to me like he had good intentions and you were unnecessarily annoyed at him. To complain or to tweet about it could potentially lose him his job and I do not think he deserves that purely because he wanted to give you some additional help and didn't get the message that you didn't want it. Some people just don't take hints and need to be told things directly, think about the job he is doing and the fact that he may be doing it because of his mental capacity

TrueLoveWays · 23/10/2018 19:21

Why would you report him?
Why not just deal with it yourself.

BumDisease · 23/10/2018 19:22

Get over it.

PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth · 23/10/2018 19:22

I get this at the self checkout. A member of staff showed me how to get round the "Please place the item in the packing area" when I already had, so I can now rectify it myself. Some over zealous staff still try and help, even after I've said I can do it myself. It makes me irrationally annoyed, maybe because I have ASD, I don't know. Angry

MadisonAvenue · 23/10/2018 19:22

You’re not going to complain it you hope someone from Morrison’s sees your rant?

MadisonAvenue · 23/10/2018 19:22

*but, not it

shakeyourcaboose · 23/10/2018 19:25

Oh bloody hell- really?! You want this brought to the attention of management??

Claricestarling1 · 23/10/2018 19:26

Poor man. He hasn’t done anything wrong other than try to do his job and offer help to someone who was admitted they were struggling. Yes you may have felt harassed, rushed and hovered over but those are your reactions to the situation alone and not something he has forced on you. It was also you who forgot to zip up your cold bag because you felt that way and that is not this man’s fault. A little tolerance for others goes a long way.

Pinkyyy · 23/10/2018 19:26

Also, as a previous poster said, why don't you take bags with you instead of having to stand and unload a trolley full of loose items into your boot?

Original poster
pippa737 · 23/10/2018 19:26

Final post from me as I have said all I can say now, and will just keep repeating myself. And I am hiding the thread after this.

There was no evidence whatsoever that this man had special needs. Even if he meant well, he was just pushy and annoying. I made it clear I did not want him to take my trolley, and did NOT ask him for help! Yet he grabbed all my stuff and shoved it in my car boot!

This is why I name changed, coz I knew that even though I would get some support, a few posters would jump in and start attacking me. Some people just sit there waiting to do this!

Never mind that I had some of my food crushed, and some defrosted, and I felt stressed and harassed, and I never ASKED for any help. I should jolly well feel embarrassed that he may have had special needs. Well I don't. I did nothing wrong. Not a thing!

And as for the post by @sparkli (on the previous page,) and the subsequent nasty personal attack on me (which MN kindly deleted,...) That was the final straw! FFS! Hmm

I am pissed off that I was bugged by this man, and will definitely complain to the manager if he bugs me again. Whether he has special needs or not, he needs telling/talking to/advising that he is annoying customers.

Anyone else would have been just as pissed off, so don't pretend you wouldn't.

This thread is clearly going to shit very quickly by people shit stirring, mocking me, and trying to guilt-trip me, (it's not working!) So as I said, I am hiding the thread.

Thanks for the posters who understood how annoying it was. I just needed a rant. And yeah I WILL be complaining if it happens again. Hiding the thread now!

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 23/10/2018 19:28

AIBU is clearly not for you

Stevienickssleeves · 23/10/2018 19:29

I don't think you deserve this level of a pasting. I am aspergers myself and I still don't spot it in other people sometimes.

The manager having a word could be useful for him if he is being over zealous. People with ASD are quite rules based and it might help if the manager gives him a process to follow for this type of situation. So I actually don't think it would hurt to mention it to the manager.

Lovemusic33 · 23/10/2018 19:30

Sounds like he was just trying to be helpful.

A lot of supermarket workers/trolley collectors do have SN’s, my dd goes to a ASD school and the local supermarkets offer the students work expereance and employs some of them when they leave school. There’s a lovely man at my local coop who is over helpful and very friendly, I just smile and let him help. Yes it might of been a bit annoying but it’s not the end of the world is it?

SemperIdem · 23/10/2018 19:35

Amazing really that people are so keen to bend over backwards to defend the unknown trolley collector and his (very likely, given the company) additional needs that everyone is pasting the op without a thought to whether she has any herself, or has anxiety issues etc.

MereDintofPandiculation · 23/10/2018 19:35

Whether he has special needs or not, he needs telling/talking to/advising that he is annoying customers He does. But that may not happen, he may just get a formal warning, and may end up jobless with little prospect of getting another job without a good reference. We may be more aware of special needs nowadays, but there are far fewer jobs available that don't require good personal skills (and we look for good personal skills in roles that previously we wouldn't have done.)

Dionysa · 23/10/2018 19:36

I thought this thread was going to be 'irrationally irritated by Morris dancers'. In which case, I would have sympathised wholeheartedly.

As you were.

SemperIdem · 23/10/2018 19:42

Mere

He wouldn’t get a formal warning. I can tell you that with confidence.

caroloro · 23/10/2018 19:42

YANBU but he sounds like he may have had some developmental differences that mean he couldn't understand your hints. If you'd said please go away and come back he might have understood.

AhhhhThatsBass · 23/10/2018 19:55

@PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth

A member of staff showed me how to get round the "Please place the item in the packing area" when I already had, so I can now rectify it myself

Ooh. Care to share?

(Misses point of thread, FWIW, I get your POV but you were a little intolerant)

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 23/10/2018 19:58

Lol what a flounce.

Flooffloof · 23/10/2018 20:01

Being overly pushy is never a good idea, and will really irk some people

But he wasn't being pushy, he waited patiently until you told him your hands hurt, then stepped up to "help"
Ok you certainly didn't want that help, but he will have had training that makes clear how and when to help. He got it wrong, He is human. If everyone complained about this kind of help, then no SN would be employed, then they're on benefits for life, then castigated for not getting a simple job like trolley collector.
Vicious cycle.
I don't know he was SN but my local big Morrisons employs them, and other posters have said the same so it's a good possibility.

amandanorgaard · 23/10/2018 20:04

Why didn't you just repack in your boot whenever he took the trolley? I appreciate you were flustered and it's horrible when you feel like that, but it doesn't sound like he meant to make you feel that way?

Greggers2017 · 23/10/2018 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth · 23/10/2018 20:05

AhhhhThatsBass take it out of the bag, move it around in the packing area until the electronic voice stops telling you to "place the item in the packing area". If that fails, put it in your trolley and carry on scanning the other stuff. Grin

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