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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD - Flying with Chickenpox

87 replies

PoxyProblems · 22/10/2018 14:18

I've name changed for this because the scenario is very specific/identifying.

We (me, DH, DD4 and DS2) are due to fly abroad on Friday. We are supposed to be away for 1 week over half term staying with friends. DD had chickenpox last week, the spots appeared last Monday, she has not been too ill with it, they are all scabbed over and she is back in school today

But I am assuming DS will now get it. If he gets it before Friday, fine. We just cancel and claim on our travel insurance. But what if he doesn't? NHS website says the incubation period can be anything from 1 to 3 weeks so its entirely possible he will be fine to fly out but could get it while we are away.

If he did get it while we are out there, the main problem is that the friends we are staying with have a 3yo who hasn't had it, and would be exposed to it. But more importantly, they run a business that involves frequent contact with children so I could be potentially introducing chickenpox to their business, which obviously I don't want to do.

I don't think the insurance will pay out on the assumption that he will get ill as he won't have doctors certificate. The flights are non-refundable/changeable. DH has volunteered to stay behind with DS and I take DD away, but I'm loathed to do this because we hardly get to spend any time together as a family, plus I don't really like the thought of being away from DS if he's ill.

Do I risk going? What are the chances he might not get it at all? I don't think there is any real answer to this, I just wanted to vent and hope that someone can come up with a magic solution that I haven't thought of!

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 22/10/2018 14:20

I’d just go. You cannot not do stuff on the off chance that he will get it too.

10pants · 22/10/2018 14:22

I’d go.
Is it too late to get the chicken pox vaccine?

2isabella2 · 22/10/2018 14:23

What does your friend think? My answer would depend on that really. If they were happy for you to go, I'd go.

Theworldwentwhite · 22/10/2018 14:23

Everyone I know whose kids had chickenpox (including my own), the second child got it exactly two weeks after the first. I’d speak to your friends and see how they feel xx

Aquamarine1029 · 22/10/2018 14:27

You definitely need to ask your friend what she wants. If you came to my home with a potentially contagious child without asking my permission, I would be extremely upset, to say the least.

PoxyProblems · 22/10/2018 14:33

I've been speaking to my friends. They are fairly relaxed about their DS being exposed to it himself. But I get the feeling that if he did get it, it would cause some logistical problems for them. Basically, they run a nursery/childcare facility, which their son also goes to. So, they would have to keep him away from there to make sure it wasn't passed on.

They've left the decision up to me. It's ages since we have seen each other and we have all been really looking forward to it, so none of us wants to be the person that cancels. But I don't want to cause massive headaches for them.

OP posts:
PoxyProblems · 22/10/2018 14:34

And equally, they don't want to tell me not to come, knowing I may lose a load of money if I can't get it back on the insurance.

OP posts:
LIZS · 22/10/2018 14:40

If they are willing to take the risk then go. You won't be covered for a maybe by insurance.

LadyBathory · 22/10/2018 14:44

Can their son get the vaccination and you pay for it?

Fromage · 22/10/2018 15:09

What about all the people on the plane though, and anyone else he might come into contact with?

Chickpox can be extremely dangerous for pregnant women and anyone who is immunocompromised.

It's a real PITA but in your shoes, I would cancel.

Nanny0gg · 22/10/2018 15:13

You don’t know for sure he’ll get it. Didn’t happen with my kids or my DGC.

if no symptoms then go.

JosellaPlayton · 22/10/2018 15:13

If the friends are abroad then has their son been vaccinated? It’s part of the standard vaccination schedule in most western countries other than the U.K.
If he has and yours isn’t showing any signs of symptoms when you fly then I’d be tempted to chance it and go. Especially as I doubt your insurance will pay out if you cancel based on the fact that your youngest may or may not get chickenpox in about 2 weeks.

BigFatLiar · 22/10/2018 15:16

If it shows while you're abroad you may not be allowed to fly back until its confirmed he's no longer contagious

PoxyProblems · 22/10/2018 15:22

I don't know if their son has been vaccinated, I assume not because I think they would have mentioned it. I'll definitely ask if they can get a private vaccination if not.
Yes, if he ended up getting it while we were out there, it would be a huge pain for getting back. I guess DH would come back with DD because she will need to be at school and he will need to work. Would have to rope in the grandparents to help and I would stay out with DS because my work is more flexible.

OP posts:
CottonSock · 22/10/2018 15:25

When my dd got it, she shared a room with 20 other kids in nursery for the week before. Not one other case.

Evilspiritgin · 22/10/2018 15:29

Why don’t you invest in the vaccine now?

Witchend · 22/10/2018 15:38

It's not guaranteed he'll get it. I didn't get it until I was 20, despite siblings having it, and best friends at various points. When dsis had it, dm had several of her friends over to play who also had it, I was right in the middle and I can remember sharing an ice cream with one of them at one point.

MondayImInLove · 22/10/2018 15:41

I really don’t think you should pit everything on hold just in case your DC is incubating.
Declared CP, obviously you don’t fly, but undeclared CP that was in contact with someone infected, no I would’t change anything. You would still send him to school wouldn’t you?
Same with D&V, 48h rule, yes, but only for the infected person, not the entire household.

PoxyProblems · 22/10/2018 15:42

DS is fairly feral. He was actually licking DD's face while she was spotty. If he doesn't get it, he must have the constitution of an ox!

I had assumed that the vaccination would be too late for him, because I think you have to have 2 doses, a couple of weeks apart.

OP posts:
MondayImInLove · 22/10/2018 15:44

@Fromage that is a bit dramatic isn’t it?
Following your logic if one child in a class gets CP, all the lther children shouldn’t travel for weeks because they might have been exposed? I know siblings would have more contacts than random class-mates, but you see what I mean? Where do you draw the line? For me it is declared CP vs «has been in contact with someone who had CP»

Theknacktoflying · 22/10/2018 15:46

Just don’t go ... really not fair to anyone

JosellaPlayton · 22/10/2018 15:54

I had assumed that the vaccination would be too late for him, because I think you have to have 2 doses, a couple of weeks apart
The standard vaccination schedule here in the US is the first shot at 12 months then a pre-school booster. So it’s not normally 2 weeks apart. And you can get the vaccine if you’ve already been exposed. From the CDC:
Getting vaccinated after you are exposed to someone with chickenpox can—
prevent the disease or make it less serious
protect you from chickenpox if you are exposed again in the future
www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/varicella/public/index.html
So I know these are American recommendations but chickenpox is chickenpox so maybe worth looking into getting your DS a private vaccine ASAP if it’s financially viable for you.

PoxyProblems · 22/10/2018 15:55

The thought of losing £1,300 doesn't seem very fair either though Sad

OP posts:
NorthernKnickers · 22/10/2018 15:58

I'd be more concerned about my fellow air passengers. It's highly contagious and you'll be in a small (ish!) enclosed space where the air is circulated repeatedly...massive chance of infecting tens of people who have no chance of avoiding it...because you'll not be telling them before they board will you?! There could be vulnerable people flying right beside you...pregnant women, frail elderly people, new babies. I do feel for you OP, but seriously, it's pretty selfish of you to blatantly put others at risk to be honest. My best friend's sister died of shingles after being exposed to the chickenpox virus when she was 28 years old. She left a 2 month old baby and a 3 year old. Please don't do this. It really can be deadly.

Oysterbabe · 22/10/2018 16:00

I really, really don't think he should go, especially given what you said about your friends business. My DD had it and DS got it exactly 2 weeks later.