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Original poster

My husband keeps looking at pictures of ex girlfriend on Instagram, is he still in love with her?

35 replies

Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:10

My husband and I separated a couple of years ago for around a year, he began dating a younger woman who he was obsessed with. After a year of separation we reconciled as we wanted to give it another shot for the sake of our children and have moved two hours away from his ex girlfriend.
I thought we were happy as we have had a great few weekends together recently and he takes photos of us and posts them on social media as if he wants to show us happiness and proclaiming his love for me.
However over the past 4 months I have caught him regularly gazing at pictures on Instagram of his ex girlfriend (he doesn’t know I’ve seen him doing it).
I am worried he is still in love with her as he hasn’t seen her in over a year and I would have thought given it’s been a while since he has seen her he would be able to put her out of his mind? Sure after a year of not seeing someone you would gradually forget about them?
Update-
I contacted her asking her if they had been in contact and voiced my concerns.
She replied saying that he had not contacted her but she can see that he looks at her Instagram daily (something to do with Instagram stories, you post pictures/videos and you can see who views it) and she told me he once looked at her 4 times in one morning. She also said that he had seemed to accidentally ‘like’ and old photo of her a few weeks ago and then ‘unliked it’ meaning he was trailing through all her old photos before he had even met her! I don’t know what to think? But I guess it’s a good think he hasn’t messaged her? Although he seems to not be able to very long without checking up on her.

OP posts:
Holdingonbarely · 21/10/2018 23:13

Are you really posting this again? What do you want anyone to say.
I give up. I think you actually just want to vent (and that’s ok) but perhaps you should really deal with this in RL.

Armchairanarchist · 21/10/2018 23:13

The occasional glimpse if their name pops up I'd be fine with but this isn't normal. He still seems obsessed.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2018 23:25

How does she know how often he's looked in one morning? I understand her being able to see that he's seen her Instagram story but not how often he's seen it - I didn't know that was a thing.

I'm also surprised she hasn't blocked him so that he can't see her pictures or stories.

Original poster
Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:29

I think she meant she posted a few pictures on her stories in one morning but not all at once. And she saw her had view all the pictures in small space of time meaning he must have kept going back on her profile to have a look.
Weird thing is I think he knows she can see that he’s looking at them, so he’s not even trying to hide it from her?
I’m not sure why she hasn’t, I guess maybe she is trying to in a way make him a bit jealous. She is only in her twenties so is quite immature.

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 21/10/2018 23:31

You all sound immature.

Original poster
Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:35

Explain...?

OP posts:
Holdingonbarely · 21/10/2018 23:37

I think it’s quite clear. You’ve had upteem amounts of advice. You’ve asked her about social media. You haven’t really sat down and had a mature conversation with him. He just said, ask her.

You started another thread.

You seem in turmoil. But nothing we say can help you. You’re grasping in the dark here.

You either have a proper grown up discussion that does not involve the mention of social media or you don’t.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2018 23:41

If that were me, I'd block my ex so I wouldn't necessarily believe what she says however you do know he's been looking at her Instagram.

Occasionally mine comes up as a suggested friend and I might have a look but that's because I'm nosey rather than anything else. No way would I want to go back there.

If I were you, I'd talk to him. Or wait until you see him doing it again and point out to him that you've seen him doing it often and see what his reaction is.

Original poster
Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:41

Sometimes it’s good to get many people’s opinions? Sorry. I’m just not in a good place and feel I need lots of confirmation for my feelings on this.

OP posts:
HeresMeh · 21/10/2018 23:42

Was there not an entire thread posted on this yesterday?!

Original poster
Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:44

She was able to prove it so I know she’s not lying.

OP posts:
Holdingonbarely · 21/10/2018 23:45

But everyone has told you what to do. And you’re just bloody ignoring it!!!
You can’t miraculously make things different. It is what it is.
You can’t make someone love you.

By your own admission you made it hell for him. It’s clear he’s not over her.

Think long and hard about what you want in life.

Spankyoumuchly · 21/10/2018 23:45

The other thread was in active just now.

Akanamali · 21/10/2018 23:48

I'm assuming that he was quite happy with her as you described her as lovely on your other thread. You made it very difficult for them to have a relationship and manipulated him into coming back to you. He came back to you for an easy life but he's clearly still pining after his ex.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2018 23:48

@Evelynjean - I meant because she's not blocking him she's obviously enjoying the attention or something so I would be wary about that too.

Original poster
Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:48

Chill out peeps. I was just trying to reach a wide audience to gain some more opinions. This is a big deal. If you do want to contribute anymore then don’t!

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2018 23:49

I've also not seen the other thread and there seems to be a bigger picture than this

HeresMeh · 21/10/2018 23:50

No, not 'chill out peeps' @Evelynjean

You've already posted the same topic on another thread with lots of advice to the same audience.

You're not going to get different answers just cause you post another thread.

You need to have an adult conversation with your partner instead of posting multiple times on an Internet forum!

Holdingonbarely · 21/10/2018 23:50

I get that. But it’s like searching in the dark. There is no answer.
You could have ten thousand people reply and you’ll still get no answer. I’m sorry.
I fear you’re clutching at anything. Flowers

Original poster
Evelynjean · 21/10/2018 23:51

Even if she is surely that is just natural as the ex girlfriend who did get very hurt but am incredibly difficult situation. She’s young so I can’t really blame her for posting pretty pictures of herself trying to taunt him.

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2018 23:55

Does he know you've been talking to her? It just seems odd to me that you would speak to the ex girlfriend about him behind his back.

Holdingonbarely · 21/10/2018 23:55

I think you’ve gone totally off grid. I get where you’re coming from. But this is not healthy for you. At all

Sparklesocks · 21/10/2018 23:56

You need to talk to HIM about it, not her, and tell him you’ve noticed and how it makes you feel. You should be able to bring this up with your significant other and talk like adults, I think it’s revealing your first instinct was to contact her.

Katearty · 22/10/2018 00:00

Well I think it's weird.

I can't stand seeing pictures of my ex and I still have a lot of his family on my fb and insta cus they like to see how I'm doing ect but I keep them hidden so that photos of him don't crop up.

Maybe he hasn't messaged her but why does he keep looking??? Maybe he just wants to make sure she's doing ok in life?

Why don't you just ask him?

Original poster
Evelynjean · 22/10/2018 00:03

I’m scared of the answer, we have 3 children together and have moved out of our town. If I got the answer I’m dreading then it would mean all of it would fall to pieces.

OP posts:
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