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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague taking heaps of leave...

72 replies

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 20:53

I have a colleague at work who I work closely with, however she is taking loads of leave and it leaves me having to cover.

Her mum has been diagnosed with cancer, however it has been caught early. But my colleague took a whole week off the last month because she started chemo, I just did not see the need for her to take the whole week. I had to cover and do overtime, my own DD was admitted to hospital for 3 nights in the same week due to her uncontrollable epilepsy. But I didn't have the opportunity to take any leave because I had to cover. My DD ended up having to sit in hospital all day by herself (her dad's dead), and only see me at lunch or after work. Whereas my colleague's mum has her dad to do all the running round, her husband is also unemployed so is around.

Anyway since then my colleague has taken numerous days, had long lunches for appointments etc even though her mum's got her dad and I am getting lumbered with all her work! She has got the first two days of next week off and I am getting fed up.

Now I really don't begrudge her taking some time off, but I feel as if she started to take the mick now, from what I understand her mum just needs a few rounds of chemo / radiotherapy.

To top things off said colleague had a massive go at me last week because I had to take a long lunch as my DD had a massive seizure at lunch time and I had to take her to the GP. (my DD flats near where I work, but none of her flatmates were around).

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 21/10/2018 21:31

Well surely it is my issue when I am being lumbered with some of her work?
It affects you but that’s not her fault. It’s your boss that needs to sort out cover. You need a conversation about how he plans to make things work better during this tricky period.

orangejuicer · 21/10/2018 21:31

Are you seriously questioning your colleague taking leave to be with her mum? It's not a competition - if you are having issues with workload/cover, be the adult and talk to your boss.

DamnWhyAreAllTheUsernamesTaken · 21/10/2018 21:33

‘Just a few rounds of chemo/radiotherapy’...

Oh yeah, walk in the park OP 🤨

ilovesooty · 21/10/2018 21:34

She shouldn't have had a go at you but it's your manager's job to sort out any entitlement to leave - decisions about her leave are none of your business.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 21/10/2018 21:35

Stop covering her work. You do the amount of work you can do in your contracted hours and anything else doesn’t get done. Not. Your. Problem. You have a manger whose job it is to manage. Let him.

^^This is the real problem, your new manager isn't sorting out how to get the work done while your colleague is off. It's his job to do this - tell him again that you can't keep covering her work and let him sort it out.

Original poster

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 21:37

I think thats a bit harsh eryn

I am hardly being self-centred when I am covering for her when she's on leave. And I did not take leave when my DD was in hospital because I was covering for her.

My year has been no walk in the path either, I have watched my DD have numerous seizures. Watched her being rushed to A&E because of a severe reaction to her medication. A week after my DD was in hospital, my mum was admitted to hospital too. I am just pointing out I have had a lot of shit to deal with and my colleague has given me attitude too for the small amount of leave I have taken. I'm sorry about your mum.

My manager left in May and we had no Manager until the end of August so my colleague has been able to get away with taking extra leave etc.

OP posts:

3out · 21/10/2018 21:38

‘ her mum just needs a few rounds of chemo / radiotherapy.’ Can you hear yourself?

Her mum is ill, her dad is unemployed, he’s clearly not able to fully support his wife (or presumably your colleague wouldn’t have to attend all her mother’s appointments), things are desperate enough that your colleague is taking unpaid leave (how many of us could afford that?).

But that’s all besides the point anyway, because it’s not your problem. If you need time off for family emergencies then tell your manager. It’s not your problem that your colleague isn’t at work.

Vixxxy · 21/10/2018 21:39

Agree with others, if you need to take leave, do so. Its your boss' issue to get it sorted, not yours.

Inertia · 21/10/2018 21:42

Your manager shouldn't be discussing your colleague's leave with you, if he isn't sure what's been agreed in previous discussions with other manages then he needs to liaise with his management or HR.

It's your responsibility to manage your workload, and your manager's responsibility to arrange cover / redistribution and rescheduling of work when your colleague is off. If your workload is unreasonable and can't be completed in the working time available, that's the issue you need to take up.

If your daughter is a dependent who needs care, then you should be applying for that through your workplace system. Again- your manager needs to step up to organise cover if you are both off.

It's not your place to judge your colleague's leave arrangements.

PurpleDaisies · 21/10/2018 21:43

My manager left in May and we had no Manager until the end of August so my colleague has been able to get away with taking extra leave etc.

No, she has taken leave that she requires because of her mum’s serious illness.

Original poster

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 21:44

To put this into context in the past 4 months, I started at 10am the night after DD was in A&E, I have taken about three long lunch breaks (first when she was first diagnosed, second when she was admitted into hospital, and last week).

Thats my choice I understand, however I dont get why she is having a go at me when herself has taken far more leave. I get epilepsy is probably not as bad as cancer, however it is uncontrolled which is also extremely worrying especially if she is on her own.

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 21:46

In what form did this “go at me” take?

What did she actually say?

sparklefarts · 21/10/2018 21:50

This reply has been deleted

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sparklefarts · 21/10/2018 21:50

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OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 21/10/2018 21:51

I don't think YABU. I'd be pissed off too, in your shoes.

Speak to your manager, though, about how covering for another colleague's absence is untenable. Pausing the overtime might also be an option, but it seems unfair that you should forego that extra income, due to covering her.

twattymctwatterson · 21/10/2018 21:54

She shouldn't be having a go at you but she's not taking "extra" leave. She's used her annual leave and now she's taking unpaid leave. That's none of your business and if you're struggling with the work you need to take it up with your manager. You could also choose to take leave

peachgreen · 21/10/2018 21:54

I get epilepsy is probably not as bad as cancer

Really? Because it doesn't sound like you do.

Original poster

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 21:56

She said that it wasnt fair on her having to cover for me, and that there was no need for me to go and see my DD because my DD would be fine

OP posts:

5foot5 · 21/10/2018 21:56

Oh and if your DD is an adult... yab even more u.

AlphaBravo this makes no sense. The colleague's mother is an adult so by your logic the colleague doesn't need to take leave either to care for her.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 21/10/2018 21:57

Oh come on OP

I get epilepsy is probably not as bad as cancer......That is very ill advised to be saying , if you are looking for sympathy.

This has got to stop. It is like you are trying to outdo her in a 'who has got the shittest life' competition, and only you know you are playing. It is immature AF. You really seem to begrudge her having personal time.

She has probably had a go at you because she is picking up on your vibes towards her. Just back off and wind your neck in if you cannot have empathy towards her situation

No one is forcing you to go into work after your daughter has had a seizure. Don't go. Do what your colleague is doing, and put your family first.

Glumglowworm · 21/10/2018 21:57

Nobody is saying that she’s right to have had a go at you.

But that doesn’t mean she’s BU for taking leave, including unpaid, to support her mum through cancer.

You would also not BU to take leave to support your DD, and need to take that up with your manager if workload means you can’t.

LL83 · 21/10/2018 21:57

Yabu.

She is entitled to leave. If you are struggling with covering discuss it with manager. The option is not stopping her leave but manager can help you decide what doesn't get done in this time, or find other staff who can help.

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 21:58

My colleagues probably bitched like fuck about me when my mum had cancer.

I don’t give a flying fuck what they thought.

Findingdotty · 21/10/2018 21:58

All these problems are your manager’s problem and not your colleague’s. If they ask for any kind of leave and it’s granted then that’s that. However you need your manager to sort out extra cover for your colleague and stop piling it on you. They also need to cover you if and when you have an emergency. This is what you need to go back again and discuss and sort with your manager.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 21/10/2018 21:59

It's totally natural to be frustrated, but you need to aim that frustration at your manager. Also if you need emergency leave, you should take it, rather than seething with resentment.

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