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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who told you Santa wasn't real..

99 replies

mummmy2017 · 20/10/2018 23:18

Who told you Santa wasn't real.. What age
Mine was siblings. About 6 years old.
My eldest said 7 children in playground and there being many santa-claus in shops.
Youngest was in infants her sister told her.
What about everyone else?

OP posts:
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 20/10/2018 23:57

When I was 6 I saw two lists in my DMs Filofax, presents from her and presents from Father Christmas

Momasita · 20/10/2018 23:57

A horrid bully in school playground pushed me up agaisnt wall and told me.
I told my mum who said she was talking rubbish and happily carried on believing.
A few years later I caught her doing my stocking. The shock! I was almost more upset for her, up late.. Doing it herself... I must admit I felt even more deep love for her at that moment.

DreamsofJacaranda · 20/10/2018 23:59

My grandfather told me quite gleefully when I was five or six, but I didn’t believe him because he had form for enjoying spoiling people’s pleasure. He wasn’t a nice person at all.

Korvalscat · 21/10/2018 00:09

A boy in Reception told me, so I was 5. I remember telling my dm walking through Woolworths that Father Christmas wasn't real and my older sister immediately shouted out that she hadn't said anything and it wasn't her fault, I then knew that Philip had told me the truth even when dm tried to tell me that of course he was real.

YouBetterWOooOooOoo · 21/10/2018 00:10

I wasn't told, just figured it out I think. We had a Christmas tradition of not being allowed downstairs before dad went down to check if "santa had been" (looking back now a clever ploy to keep us kids upstairs till a more reasonable hour than 5am!).

I also remember being very young, looking out the window to see what was actually the local round table charity santa grotto trailer pulled by a 4x4 (a small shed on a trailer blasting out carols with lights etc), thinking it was the real thing and diving back into bed shutting my eyes Grin

But nope, no telling about the Santa thing, just gradually came to realise myself I think.

This thread now has me thinking about DD, she'll be 10 months so obviously oblivious this year but next year and a few more years after we'll be doing the magic of santa thing. But what do people think is best when the time comes? Let them figure it out or give it to em straight?

jimmyhill · 21/10/2018 00:11

Figured it out for myself when I was seven because I'm not a dunce

trancepants · 21/10/2018 00:11

What Katy Did, chapter 10. Katy, her father and Aunt Izzie put out the presents on Christmas eve and explicitly the discuss the subterfuge they are engaging in.

I was 11 and it was just confirmation of what I already strongly suspected. And it was summer so not a big deal, just a quiet 'I knew it' moment and an ever so, ever so slight disappointment. Then I didn't think too much about it again until September when I let my parents know I knew and they talked to me about it being fun to be on the other side of the Santa myth and part of helping to keep the secret from my brothers.

trancepants · 21/10/2018 00:22

I must have just quietly worked it out one day. I wasn't traumatised or upset about it either. Weird.

That's not weird. I'd say it's about what happens with 90% of kids who grow up with the Santa myth. First you believe completely, then you realise his existence is up for debate. Then your love of the myth and your willingness for suspension of reality, bit by bit give way to the obviousness of him not being real. It's not traumatic or upsetting as it's a gradual process that you are in control of and the slight disappointment of accepting that he's just a myth is more than offset with a pride in being on the 'grown-up' side of things now.

And eventually, if you were lucky in your childhood, the amazing display of secret love your parents showed you (while taking pains to never take credit) overwhelms you. I can't actually express how utterly in awe I am of all that my parents had 'Santa' do for me, knowing they'd never get so much as a thank you. It's such a pure expression of love.

puzzledlady · 21/10/2018 00:22

No one.

DishranawaywiththeSpoon · 21/10/2018 00:28

No one, I don't think I ever thought he was real, it was all too suspicious that he had the same handwriting as my mum and the same wrapping paper, and we didn't have a chimney. Also why wouldn't he give all children the same presents? Makes no sense, I spent ages thinking about how could he possibly fly round the world delivering all the presents there just wasn't time. But I liked to believe in him regardless, it was still a magical story.

JaceLancs · 21/10/2018 00:29

I worked it out at 4 or 5

Deadringer · 21/10/2018 00:40

My father told me when I was 9, I was devastated. I had no inklings or suspicions, no idea why he felt he needed to tell me.

lau888 · 21/10/2018 00:49

A classmate’s sibling, when I was about 5-years-old. It wasn’t a big deal; I don’t recall being upset.

TamzinGrey · 21/10/2018 00:51

Woke up and saw my mother sticking a heavily filled stocking on the end of my bed and it dawned on me at that moment that he wasn't real. I instinctively pretended to be asleep. I wasn't particularly upset , didn't tell anyone that I knew the truth, and kept up the charade for years. I thought that the presents would stop if they knew that I knew.

TheMonkeyMummy · 21/10/2018 00:55

@trancepants 😍😍

Disquieted1 · 21/10/2018 00:56

Santa IS real.

People go through three phases:
Phase one - they believe in Santa Claus
Phase two - they don't believe in Santa Claus
Phase three - they ARE Santa Claus

Whichever way you cut it, Santa exists.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 21/10/2018 01:07

First you believe completely, then you realise his existence is up for debate. Then your love of the myth and your willingness for suspension of reality, bit by bit give way to the obviousness of him not being real. It's not traumatic or upsetting as it's a gradual process that you are in control of and the slight disappointment of accepting that he's just a myth is more than offset with a pride in being on the 'grown-up' side of things now.

Totally this. There was no one moment or person, though people (other kids) did tell me he wasn't real. I just wanted to keep believing and at some stage it gently wore off. My kids are in the starting to doubt but wanting to keep the magic stage now. If they asked outright I'd say gently 'Well what do you think?' to find out where they are. I wouldn't outright lie to them but be guided by them.

elliejjtiny · 21/10/2018 01:11

My mum and dad told me the truth when I was 6 and I was upset about the idea of a strange man coming in my bedroom in the middle of the night.

Fatasfook · 21/10/2018 01:14

The Easter bunny whispered in my ear! No really, can’t remember, I think it was a gradual realisation

SarahK861 · 21/10/2018 01:17

Are you trying to tell me Santa isn't real? What makes you think that?

VerbeenaBeeks · 21/10/2018 01:18

Age around 9 some cowbag from school said he wasn't real, I totally didn't believe but had to go home and ask my parents anyway.
Me - "Is Santa real?"
Mum umming and ahhing..... :erm, no."
Me going completely off on one, you liedddddd Grin

Now as an adult I still can't bring myself to ever tell the small people outright,Even though one is now in their teens lol

PatchworkElmer · 21/10/2018 01:36

My Mum told me when I was 3.5, and screaming the house down on Christmas Eve because I didn’t want a strange man in my bedroom. She said I had to pretend for my Auntie though. She had to tell my brother before he went to high school- he was distraught.

DS is not quite 2, and I’m not sure what to do about it, probably because I have quite stressful memories!I think I might tell him it’s a fun story.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 21/10/2018 06:36

No one. I just figured it out. I thought that was the case for most kids.

dudsville · 21/10/2018 06:51

I never understood how children could be duped. When I was a child "santa" was my father, my uncles, my second cousin.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 21/10/2018 08:10

My cousin she is a few years older I think I was around 9

We had our one and only fight about it I think I hit her first Blush I refused to believe the lies she was telling me

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