DP worried about me shouting at him in labour...

[LottieAnnwin]

I'm being induced next week. I'm very nervous about it as haven't had a baby before and I know induction can (but isn't always) be very difficult.

I tried to have a conversation with DP tonight about how he could support me through labour. He doesn't seem that interested. All he asked about was whether I thought I was going to get annoyed with him and that if I would he would just end up getting irritated with me. Surely this is the one time I'm allowed to get annoyed with people? When I'm pushing a baby out of my vagina?

All he was worried about was him. How boring the hospital was going to be. How he's going to need sleep. Etc. He showed absolutely zero concern for me, at all! I don't want him to be bored, or tired, but quite frankly there are times when he will be and that's tough shit.

AIBU to be concerned by this ^ considering I'm being induced in a couple of days?

Really glad my mum is going to be there otherwise I would be completely freaking out at the idea of having a useless birth partner and nobody else!

@Volant because I can put my phone down and turn off Mumsnet whenever I want, which I am going to do very soon. I think a discussion in the morning when I've slept in for as long as possible and had time to get some opinions on here makes more sense to me. Yes I could've sorted it all out if I wanted to but who knows how long that discussion would last? Having a serious discussion like that face to face with your partner isn't really setting yourself up for a good night's sleep.

I hope you're right @N0tfinished :)

Lottie, please don't mind me asking but why are you being induced?

@Rebecca36 not at all. Looks like the baby isn't growing properly, placenta isn't working too well, couple of periods of reduced movements. I've been in for a doppler today and having another scan tomorrow before induction on Monday. Amazing they're seeing me over the weekend!

@Rebecca36 they also saw an echogenic blob in the stomach, which has faded now but I'm being monitored for this reason too...

Sounds like he’s bricking it.

@Cherries101 so am I ☹️

@LottieAnnwin I'm having a section on Monday!! Our babies may have the same birthday 

@GreenMeerkat best of luck! Who knows I may end up with a section too if this induction doesn't take! Hope it all goes smoothly. Many thanks for your advice and input 🙂

Well Lottie I hope all goes smoothly, am sure it will. I think your husband has just worked himself up into a panic now that birth is imminent and he'll probably be absolutely fine.

@Rebecca36 thank you 🙂

Good luck to you too. I do hope your DH behaves himself. Pop back on and let us know how it goes xx

Men are quite often pathetic during pregnancy, most of them step up during the birth and the subsequent fortnight, then become pretty useless until the child's first birthday. HTH and of course NAMALT etc

He sounds like he might be anxious. I was induced 7 weeks ago and was worried I might shout at OH. I did the opposite and went completely silent 😂
He might also be worried his role isn't important or that your mum might take over.
Give him jobs to give him purpose; get him to pack yours/ babies bag so he can grab everything you need quickly, make sure he knows which outfits you want baby in; he can get vest/hat/nappies etc ready to give to midwifes. My OH was in charge of 'entertainment' and made a playlist and downloaded programmes/ films we could watch x

I agree with the PPs who said it sounds like he's terrified. I think his attitude is a subconscious attempt to distance himself from the situation because he's so scared that something might go wrong and that he will be powerless to fix it.

I suspect that once things start happening he will be right there for you and even if you do shout at him he will deal with it. (But it doesn't hurt to let the midwives know the situation and get them to give him short shrift for any nonsense.)