AIBU?
To call the police?
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 18:12
I've name changed for obvious reasons.
An ex of mine has been harrassing me by social media. I had an affair with a married man 19 years ago and we split up as a result of this. I was 18 at the time. We haven't heard or spoken to each other in 19 years.
About 6 months ago I commented on a post on a forum on Facebook and he replied arguing with my opinion. We are not friends on Facebook. It turned nasty quite quickly with him calling me names - slut slag whore etc so I deleted my comment. He then started private messaging me again being abusive. I'm now married with 2 children and told him to leave me alone. He threatened to beat my husband up etc so I went round to see his mum and dad. They were horrified at the messages and assured me they would speak to him and it did all stop.
Last week a friend of mine sent a screenshot of him slandering me on Facebook again. So I messaged him to again ask him him leave me alone and was subject to more abuse. My friend also messaged him telling him to leave me alone and he sent her a message saying he was going to have me sorted out.
I've since since his dad in the street who started shouting abuse that I was a homewrecker and deserved everything I got.
I am at my wits end with this. I'm fed of being slandered on Facebook and worried he will hurt me or my husband. If I ring the police are they likely to just give him a slap on the wrist? I don't know what to do!!!
ButchyRestingFace · 20/10/2018 18:14
If he's making threats then yes, I wouldn't hesitate to phone the police. He sounds unbalanced. And sure knows how to bear a grudge. 
EricTheGuineaPig · 20/10/2018 18:14
Absolutely ring the police. This is harassment and he's been clearly told to stop. He has absolutely no right to do this to you. I should think with the threats to you and your husband, they'd take it seriously
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 18:15
By seriously though are they likely to just go round and say don't do it again because I think that will 100% make it worse
ButchyRestingFace · 20/10/2018 18:17
Presumably you've kept all the messages he sent? Police, definitely.
TheFlis12345 · 20/10/2018 18:17
Wow he really holds a grudge doesn't he! Go to the police, he sounds seriously unstable to be behaving like this so long after it happened.
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 18:18
He is the type that if he thinks I've gone to the police that will anger him more
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 18:18
Yes I've kept all messages and I've got the screenshot from my friend where he threatened to do something to me
EricTheGuineaPig · 20/10/2018 18:19
That makes him sound even more dangerous to be honest. I don't think you can ignore this sorry.
Idontbelieveinthemoon · 20/10/2018 18:20
The police will also log it and if it ramps up or reoccurs, will act accordingly. If you do nothing, there's no log for them to draw upon and realise that he has a history of harassing you.
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 18:24
It's his dad turning on me that's really upset me to be honest
Fatted · 20/10/2018 18:26
Do you still have any of the messages?
By all means report it to the police. Slander is not something they will investigate. You have to sue him for that yourself. But making threats of violence against you and your partner is something they can investigate.
What they can do depends on what evidence you have, so it helps if you still have the messages.
Mummyoflittledragon · 20/10/2018 18:47
You were 18, hardly a home wrecker. More like an easily manipulated teen. I don’t understand your op. Did he split up with his wife over the affair? Imo he’s the home wrecker.
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 18:49
No he was my boyfriend and I cheated on him with a married man.
I still have all the messages where he has threatened me
GreenLantern53 · 20/10/2018 18:49
i took it as the op was also in a relationship when she had the affair and its her ex not the married man who is harrasing her.
Aquamarine1029 · 20/10/2018 18:53
I would go to the police. What is most alarming to me is that he is this unhinged over something that happened nearly 20 years ago. That is just madness, and it's possible your ex is suffering from mental illness and might be very dangerous.
Rudgie47 · 20/10/2018 18:53
Go to the Police, they will go out and tell him to leave you alone.If he doesn't they can start proceedings against him
I had the street harassment from an ex friend, she kept swearing and screaming at me in the street.
She was warned off, and its stopped.
You need to tell them OP.
Mummyoflittledragon · 20/10/2018 18:53
Oh I see. It’s uncredibly common to cheat at this age. He sounds very unstable.
MyBrexitIsIll · 20/10/2018 18:59
So he was what? 19~20yo amd is now nearly 40yo and is threatening you now?
Seriously, go and see the Police. Speaking to his parents, having a friend standing up for you etc.. will only make things worse.
And what if he is getting even more angry of the police is coming to see him? What do you think will happen? More abuse that you will report again? Him getting violent?
What is worrying you about him ‘getting angry’ if you report it?
Giannitito · 20/10/2018 19:05
I worry he will actually hurt my husband. I think the threats against me are empty but I'm worried he will do something to my husband either directly or indirectly
Redglitter · 20/10/2018 19:15
Go to the police. They won't just 'log it' they'll get the details, see the messages & most likely go & warn him. Depending on the nature of the texts there may be enough to charge him. The force I work for would class this as a domestic incident so would most definitely act on it
That lets him see you won't take his crap & hopefully make him think twice.
Thehop · 20/10/2018 19:19
Malicious communication is taken VERY seriously.
Please phone the police straight away. Now!!!
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