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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Still quite upset about this...

69 replies

4TeensAndABaby · 20/10/2018 15:34

Regular lurker, infrequent poster here.

I’m posting mainly for traffic, and perhaps a bit of reassurance.

20 minutes ago I left my house to walk to Tesco (3 min walk). I walked through a park, and saw a man bending back the arm of a 9/10 year old girl. She was crying, but him and her (I assume) mum were laughing. The man let go, and the girls ran off behind a buggy. She said something which I didn’t hear, and the man marched over to her and again yanked her arm high behind her back. She was screaming and crying saying it hurt. The man then let go and said “That’ll teach you to fu*cking behave”.

I walked out of the park and called the police. I gave them all the details and everything I saw.

On my way back from the shop I got close to the park, and the woman shouted to one of her friends “Oi (name), you’ll never guess what. Some fucking cnt just called the police and said (man) was beating up (child)” and she was laughing. I decided to walk around the park and not through it, and I saw the police drive away.

I honestly can’t believe what I saw. The man was so rough with the young girl. She was screaming and crying, and the police have done nothing.

Was I wrong to call them?

OP posts:

Caprisunorange · 20/10/2018 16:51

Because they haven’t asked for one Davisday

davisday · 20/10/2018 16:53

Are you the OP?

Catmum26 · 20/10/2018 16:54

you absolutely did the right thing. if this man was able to do that to the child in a public place god only knows how he treats her behind closed doors. i’m not sure there is much else you can do now though, the matter is with the police and they will be dealing with it.

Original poster

4TeensAndABaby · 20/10/2018 16:55

ElizabethMainwairing If you read the post properly, you’d realise it wasn’t a mere ‘yank’ of the arm. Her arm was straight and bent up behind her back, in an arm lock style. Kind of how the Police do to subdue people. And I can categorically state that everything I put in my post is true. I have no reason to lie, especially on here.

Thank you for the supportive posts. I will obviously give a statement if needed, the police have my details. I was purely concerned about the welfare of that girl. It wasn’t a joke, it wasn’t funny, she was being physically assaulted by an adult and she was in distress.

OP posts:

Yoksha · 20/10/2018 16:56

You very much did the right thing OP. Hopefully put the wind up their proverbial!

I witnessed a racial attack in the summer against my neighbour. The disconnect between witnessing an event, reporting it, seeing police action and finally stopping doubting yourself takes a couple of hours to synchronise. At least it did in my mind. You might be different. I'm an habitual overthinker. But with the hive mind of Mn 99% agreeing put me right.

, even if it's only pretend.

FurryBuzzer · 20/10/2018 17:00

Just another voice saying you did the right thing OP.

Sadly there's nothing more you can do at this stage as you don't know the details of the family to pass on to SS but the police will have logged it and if there's a pattern of other reports/concerns this will help build a case. I'm so sad to think of this child's family life, it sounds very unhappy if they are being hurt and then mocked. The sad reality is that it can be 'better' to leave children in unhappy circumstances rather than remove them and put them at risk of worse emotional distress in a disruptive/underfunded care system. Obviously this isn't always the case but it can be true of cases where a child is not at risk of major injury, horrible as that is to contemplate. Essentially there's probably nothing more the police could do at this stage but they have responded and spoken to the parents at least.

I would hope that another effect would be that the family realise someone witnessed their child's distress and that might make them think about their actions but I doubt it from your description.

All you can do now is take care of yourself: have a cup of tea to recover from the upset.

for you and for anyone who has found this post brought up memories of their own childhood

BrisaOtonal · 20/10/2018 17:13

You did the right thing. Hopefully the oxygen stealer will think twice about doing it again if he knows people will report him and thinks the police have made a note of it.

CoraPirbright · 20/10/2018 17:19

If nothing else, OP, that poor girl saw the police taking the vile scum of a “father” to task and that must have been a tiny consolation to her - you showed her that there are decent people out there who are willing to stand up for her and be counted. Well done you.

Nanny0gg · 20/10/2018 17:22

Well done OP.

Shame more don't get involved when they see/hear something untoward going on.

Gemini69 · 20/10/2018 17:34

Hmmm tbh sounds like the police just came past, checked everything was peaceful had a word and left. I highly doubt anything else will come of it

I agree.. therefore I would follow up with a call to SS about the report and what you witnessed... they will marry the call to the police report (or should)

AllHallowsQueen · 20/10/2018 18:09

You definitely did the right thing, we are all responsible for protecting children.

PeakTrans · 20/10/2018 18:11

You dud the right thing. I'm glad you saw it and not someone who could just ignore it

StoneofDestiny · 20/10/2018 20:41

You did the right thing. Hope the child became aware her 'parents' behaviour was not viewed as normal by right thinking people.

HotSauceCommittee · 20/10/2018 20:51

I called the cops on my next door but one neighbours; I heard the little girl crying (it was summer and we were all in out back gardens) and saying several times, “ow! You’re hurting me, let go”. After a few times, I called out “is everything alright?”. Silence, so I asked again and heard “yes thank”. It carried on and I didn’t think twice about calling the cops who were there within minutes despite DH saying, “they’ll know it’s you!”
The police updated me and even though neighbour now ignored me, the little girl still comes round to ask DS to play.
I’d do it again in a heart beat. You did the right thing OP

PurpleFlower1983 · 20/10/2018 21:00

An assault on a child is worse than a burglary FFS. Shocked by some of the attitudes on here, this is why everyone is shocked when horrendous abuse cases are exposed, too many people failed to act!

You did the right thing OP.

MrsDrudge · 20/10/2018 21:22

If the man did that to the child in public and the woman laughed about it, who knows what they might be doing to the child in private. I think you did the right thing.

Bambamber · 20/10/2018 21:27

Of course you did the right thing.

I'm sure some people on here are just deliberatly being a bit dense.

Lovebeingmama · 20/10/2018 21:34

Well done op.
It puts the family on the radar of SS and police. If this us going on outside in public heaven knows what is going on behind closed doors.
These are signs that all is not well with this child. Ignore these signs and anything could happen next. We don’t like to think about it but children are abused and killed by their parents. We need to notice and report when we see something that concerns us.

ChocolateCard · 20/10/2018 21:42

You absolutely did the right thing.

I think it’s important that you call the police back and report the scene that you witnessed afterwards too.

It’s not about whether they can do something immediately just because someone was laughing. It’s important to have it on record with your contact details in case a witness is ever needed.

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