to ask if you have ever called the Samaritas?

[GlitteredAcorns]

and if so, did you find it helpful?

Also I contacted them again in the past few days actually, about a TV show that is using child suicide in a very very questionable way, with a questionable storyline. Long story short, the show has put across that if a child wants to get their own way, they should attempt suicide and they will get their own way then. They were utterly utterly useless in that, despite producing media guidelines on such topics, though they seemingly do not care about their own guidelines,.

I didnt want advice I just wanted to talk to someone. I felt there was no interaction. If I wasn't talking there was no conversation. I just needed a conversation. The silences made me feel they weren't interested. I'd never call them again & tbh I'd never recommend calling them to anyone

I completed most of the training for the Samaritans but left before I completed it. I was very uncomfortable with the just listening part of it even when a crime was being committed.

I remember one role play we did with a thirteen year old caller who was asking advice about her 21 year old boyfriend with whom she was in a sexual relationship. I did all the listening and helped with her worries but towards the end I gently asked if she realised that he was breaking the law by having sex with her and did she feel pressure to have sex with him. My trainer was absolutely horrified and we all had a long lecture about why it was so wrong to say this. I realised at that point that I was never going to be able to be a Samaritan.

@GeoffreysCat What were the key points of the lecture??

There's a new safeguarding policy now, especially when it comes to kids so you might find that's not how it would happen anymore.

I've called them and e mailed them in the past. I think it depends. I've called them, when really I've needed advice and help to resolve the situation Ive been in, and it didn't help me, because like others have said, they don't advise, just listen.

I've also called them when I've needed to cry and Talk and vent and just get of my chest some shitty things that were going on at the time. That was useful to me, just to verbally get everything out that was swirling round my head. I felt better for that.

Yes. No.

I volunteered with them once. Its a listening service and we were not allowed to give any advice. We were only allowed to ask questions and listen. It helps so many people though but its not for everyonw.

But not being helpful wasn't their fault - it was/is an intractable situation which nobody can resolve for me.

geofrey same! I quit when we did roles and we had the role of a man phoning up.to say he had molested his children and killed his wife. We were told we couldnt call the police or judge him we had to treat him with kindness and respect. Lots of people walked out. Terrorist threats are the only thing you can call the police about with them.

Yes, I've called them and Yes they were very supportive. Maybe it depends on who you get.....

Yes very recently and I was in great distress. Both times I was listened to and helped to articulate my thoughts and limit catastrophic thinking.

Yes. The lady seemed nice but was not really helpful.

Worse was the unexpected call back the next day. I had people in the house and was shocked they'd called to ask how I was. A nice sentiment but impractical and embarrassing.

I've never had a call back but I did hide my number.

They should never call you back unless you agree and give them your number. I'm a bit shocked by that.

Yes and yes. Not overly helpful but distracted me long enough that I didn’t overdose

Yes, 3times.First time it was an older lady I spoke to & she was kindness personified & massively helped. 2nd time very elderly gentleman, he seemed embarrassed & at a loss as to what to say . And the last lady... She very obviously lost interest 10minutes in & her comments were very 'pull yourself together' (when anyone that low just can't, however much you want to) so I hung up, embarrassed.

I contacted the Samaritans when I was having an extremely difficult week away from home. They e-mailed me everyday to see how I was doing. They were very kind and I was grateful.

Yes and no. They just said ‘Mmmmm’ a lot and ‘Yes’ a lot, and sounded disinterested, in a ‘get to the point sort of way’

Email is more helpful, in my experience. To be blunt, some of the people answering the phone shouldn't be volunteers.

It still hurts remembering the time I called extremely distressed and found myself I talking to a woman who sounded painfully bored throughout. And no, that wasn't a figment of my distress, I can interpret tone.

It caused much more harm to be trying to reach out to someone who was making it very clear she didn't give a shit. If I'd had other options I wouldn't have called.

There have been a few awful calls, which is why I generally avoid calling - it is not worth the risk of things being made worse. Although there have also been good calls, the harm that can be caused by a single terribly handled call cannot be balanced out.

If you're at breaking point, it's irrelevant that Jane down the road is having a better phonecall or that if you were still alive in a week's time to call again it might be better...

People who can't be arsed anymore or are burnt out (or just arseholes) shouldn't be answering the phones.

It makes me sad and angry that for a lot of people "call samaritans" will be the only bit of "support" they receive when in crisis or distress, yet it's a service that can be very hit or miss and cannot advise or provide practical support.

It's not helpful that calling samaritans is touted as the answer to suicidal feelings, when it's very clearly not.

Of course, locking people up is a pretty shit, damaging response too.

Yes, once. No, not helpful. I was in terrible distress, and the Samaritan sounded elderly and out of his depth, and I ended up feeling I had to feign feeling better to get off the call, otherwise I was going to just have ‘You’re very hard on yourself’ said over and over till his shift ended.

Yes, and no.

The 'we just listen' thing really wasn't what I needed at that time. I was very ill, not at all rational and I needed firm advice, specifically advice to go to A&E. Luckily, that was what I did.

It makes me sad and angry that for a lot of people "call samaritans" will be the only bit of "support" they receive when in crisis or distress, yet it's a service that can be very hit or miss and cannot advise or provide practical support.

Definitely. Back in the day when I was seriously unwell our area had a proper crisis service by the NHS mental health services. When you called in, they had your file there to look at and could see your situation, and there was some continuity, as if you were relying on them often, you got to "know" the people answering the calls. They could remind and give advice on coping strategies. They would send a message for your case worker or similar to check up with you later on, or in worse cases arrange for a crisis appointment. Unsurprisingly the service has now not existed in several years. There's some veeery scaled back crisis service still, I think, but only available for very few cases at very few times of the day and for only very short periods. The general advice in crisis seems to be to call Samaritans.

@MarthaArthur Again, what on earth is their reasoning?! What justification did they give?