To ask if you would consider this

[moncr]

Have been offered a job that pays more than my current one.

However it is in a different area of the country. I’ve had a look on Rightmove and I couldn’t really afford to buy anywhere.

I am wondering if it’s worth taking the job and coming ‘home’ at weekends/holidays?

WWYD?

The weekend commute and weekday rental is going to cost you most of that £10k especially after tax and NI...

Financially you would have to move your DS into a houseshare, you into a studio flat and rent your house out

I personally wouldn't bother ! As long as your making enough money at your current job and your not desperate for extra I don't see the point

It’s more the long term opportunities it could open up really - not sure

I spent 3 years working 150 miles away Monday to Friday. Driving down Monday morning and back Friday evening.

It was the right decision for me at the time, and I'd consider doing it again for the right job.

Pros

• It was a great job with excellent pay. The uplift in salary more than covered any expenses associated with living away
• I had a great place that I rented 5 days a week with own kitchenette and bathroom and I could leave stuff there week to week so limiting what i had to haul about
• I was within 15 minute walking distance of work so my Monday morning and Friday evening commutes were the only time I spent in the car
• I have portable hobbies (knitting/running)

Negatives

• 5:30 am start on a Monday morning
• washing and packing for the next week ate into weekend time
• sorting routine things like a blood test or dentist appointment was a pain

I'd sit down and work out all the pros and cons, and the finances in detail.

What your income would be, after tax.
What a bedsit/house-share would cost you
Whether you need to factor in costs to get to work from the bedsit
Food costs
Weekly commute costs
Whether you'll make any savings by not being at home all week, or will your costs there stay the same (or rise, depending on how feckless or not your 20yr old is). How much does 20yr old contribute - will that go up or stay the same?

Things to think about - change of dynamic at home if you're only there at weekends - how will the shopping/housework be organised?
Will you just be living to work during the week or are you going to try to make a social life there, make connections there? Are you going to date?

rent some rooms out to AirBnB? Your ds could help manage it ? To fund a rental for you at your new work location.

Will you be employed or a contractor? Makes a difference financially as you can potentially claim back a lot of the expenses if the latter.

I had a lodger many years ago who did this. She seemed happy enough. it was great for me

Do the maths.

Is it worth it after rent , travel and other expenses?

DH did this (different country) for a year and made a fortune. We had no children, I missed him during the week and then got used to it! It paid a lump sum off our mortgage but wouldn’t have wanted him to do it for much longer.

I did this for a year and then couldn't do it anymore. I was broken. Leaving at 3am on a Monday morning to get to new work place, leaving new work place at 5pm on a Friday then not getting back until 10pm totally shattered. Not being able to relax all weekend as the fear of Monday's early start looming.

Living in a hotel, missing social engagements, missing family. Urgh. Worst year of my life without doubt. Never again.

Taking off tax, travel costs, rent etc, I don't think there's going to be enough of that £10k left to compensate for the hassle and time away from 'home'.

Probably not for an extra £10k especially if you are/would be a higher rate taxpayer and still having to pick up the financial slack at home.

I have done it - at the start of my career when I was under 30 - it was good in many ways but also tiring and unsettling. "Home" was my parents' house so I came home to a clean house and food in the fridge as well - would you? Your DC would need to be on board.

I'd do it - I'm always up for traveling though. But I'd make sure my DC was on board and I was not going to be going back to a shit tip of a house each weekend.

I've been away for short times before and always come back to an immaculate house (two DC similar ages to yours) but I've been very clear about expectations in advance!

What have you got to lose? If you can return to a similar job at home after 12 months it would be a no brained for me. If not I'd think a bit more carefully.

I did this for a bit and weekend commuted from Paris - not every weekend. It was worth it financially (huge pay rise) but emotionally not. We were all much happier when the whole family moved to Paris. DC were much younger and we decided it was easier for them to finish the school term and for DH to work his notice on his job before joining me.

Surely it depends on the 20 year old? What are they doing, how much are they contributing and so on.

Does your potential new employer have flexible working arrangements, for example working from home on Monday and Friday? That would bring the "stay away" time down to 3 nights only (if you leave after 5 on Monday evening).

We moved about 180 miles from my base office in 2006, and this is more or less what I did, except I also had work elsewhere. People in my company don't need to be in their base office, there are 3 base offices + various non-base office locations where people work, depending on clients. I did it about 2.5 years, but in the summer I did work in one of those non-base locations chipping in with the local teams. Then I'd had enough and requested a base location change.

Currently, I'm away from home 2 or 3 nights per week, 2 or 3 weeks per month, sometimes every week (summers, usually) - but since my base office is only 25 miles away, hotel, etc, is paid for. My partner takes care of the house, so I have only my main things to do (laundry) when I get home.

I found (and find) the not having your things around the most difficult thing. I tend to work long hours when away, so go to bed early and start early. Most things I like to do in my spare time I can't do in a hotel room (music, cross-stitch (not enough light, usually)). So I mope around on-line and watch a bit of telly - caught a wonderful episode of DIY SOS several weeks ago. But it can get a bit draining.

Two columns, write a list of all the factors plus or minus and give weight or rank to each. Tot up for each column. See how you feel about the outcome, are the weightings right (is money more important than convenience etc) does your gut feeling agree?
Can you do 9 day fortnight or work from home, leave early or arrive late some days and make up the time.
Don't pack and carry everything, have work clothes, toiletries, pjs, book etc at each end and only one outfit for going out/relaxing. Wash on Thursday night, it will be dry when you return, or travel home in work clothes and back in fresh ones.

What is your son or daughter’s view on this? It sounds do-able on paper but I think the actuality of the situation would be very wearing. I

Have you thought of looking into hotel rooms Monday to Thursday?

Many hotels due business rates

Why not wait for something to come up closer to home or in a cheaper city, or once your dc has left home?

Have you worked out how much better off you would be after paying for rent and travel costs and after tax?

It’s only worth it if you rent your house out and rent a new place near your work on the proceeds.

I wouldn’t not take a job for the sake of a 20 year old who won’t be around much longer.

For info, a year ago my away from home costs were £110 a week accommodation and £40 travel/petrol, so costs of about 8k a year (and i'd say that was cheaper than average amongst people i know working away). A 10k a year uplift wouldn't have been worth it for me. My uplift was more like 50k

I wouldn’t do it for 10k extra, financially it doesn’t outweigh the hassle.

I did it for 3 1/2 years, having negotiated that I could work from home on Friday - so 3 nights in digs, 4 nights at home. It was quite expensive - as well as the weekly trainfare/parking at station & cost of digs, I spent quite a lot on the sort of food you eat when away from home - endless sandwiches/ready meals and so on. It was helpful in terms of career advancement (or rather in my case, moving into another area) and it did mean you focussed on your work for the days you were there. But financially, I worked out it cost me about £6k a year, which would have about equated to a £10k salary rise after tax.

Sorry can't see that this has already been asked but can you negotiate any flexible working? If you could a day at home and condensed hours say so you came home Friday afternoon it could be doable.

I know a lot of people especially NHS shift workers who do 3x 12 hour shifts done weeks who do this. Like you most do it for the career leap frog effect eg first consultants role which may not be local.

One option might be to look at travel lodge / cheap hotel. Rates well in advance can actually be very cheap. May sound grim & means carting your stuff home but can be cheap whilst you find your feet in a new area.

How tidy / responsible is your son or daughter? Could they potentially air bnb in your house to bring some income in.

Or if they are comfortable with people in the house and you are near a major hospital or university might be worth seeing if you could advertise for someone who wants to do the reverse of you. Just again to off set your double costs.