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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why people give babies screens?

58 replies

joiningmum · 19/10/2018 21:06

Just reading another thread, and it's a topic that has come up often over recent years. I didn't even realise this was a thing as I didn't have a smartphone at the time and didn't notice others using them with infants (aspie).

I can think of many difficult moments (ASD) infact every day was difficult, disabled, with a disabled child, on public transport, trying to navigate difficulties without help. Yet I can't picture a smartphone making the situation better. I find and see the use of them with older kids who interact with the devices, but I don't understand why people give them to babies? Babies naturally observe their environment and are easily stimulated, they already have a lot to look at and a screen would be a competing demand that they couldn't interact with rather than a soother. Babies need interaction from their caregivers and need a lot of care and sleep so there is less time to fill than an older child who has developed basic skills and is securely playing with a screen.

I had a parent tell me that they thought children should be exposed to screens as early as possible to develop screen skills and boost their infants intelligence. Is this sort of view common in those that give screens to babies? It was around the time of 'teach your baby to read' and pushy type parenting was in fashion but this view seems less common now, so why are infants and toddlers using screens as part of their daily activities now? Libraries have invested money to teach toddlers to use screens too so it is mainstream. I now often see babies in prams or buggies with a screen. Is it just parents passing on what they do? Why do people do it?

OP posts:
Totopoly · 19/10/2018 23:25

I wonder how those of us survived parenthood/SAHMing before the advent of screens. I suppose we just had to speak/sing to/read to/interact with our babies/toddlers and nurse them through the screaming/whingeing bits. How very tiresome. If only I had realised that the future would hold a way to stupefy ignore them.

I still don't have a smartphone, and would not want one. And I'm only 40something, so not a complete gimmer.

XH was a tosser, but even he talked to/read to/sang to our children, endlessly, when they were little.

Justanotherlurker · 19/10/2018 23:26

I was being facetous initially, but back to OP:

I had a parent tell me that they thought children should be exposed to screens as early as possible to develop screen skills and boost their infants intelligence. Is this sort of view common in those that give screens to babies?

In a roundabout and simplistic way yes, it is good. With the already advancement in technology, todays toddlers are going to experience a lifestyle that is even outside of current millennial's expectations and so far removed from older parents who used dial up internet and even further removed from grandparents etc who can remember only 3 tv channels.

People today already have access to obscure information within a couple of seconds that would have taken a few weeks to find out via libraries as they needed to get the right books in.

Its just an advancement of harmony between the human race and technology.

Justanotherlurker · 19/10/2018 23:42

I wonder how those of us survived parenthood/SAHMing before the advent of screens. I suppose we just had to speak/sing to/read to/interact with our babies/toddlers and nurse them through the screaming/whingeing bits. How very tiresome. If only I had realised that the future would hold a way to stupefy ignore them.

So you never put them in front of a TV for an hour that would attract sneers from the older generation, nope, it was all wholesome.

I still don't have a smartphone, and would not want one. And I'm only 40something, so not a complete gimmer.

This isn't the badge of honor you are trying to make it out to be, you are in a minority of seeking out a non smartphone, some people are ludites and thats fine, but posting on a web forum using either a laptop or tablet and thinking not owning a smartphone is some kind of purity is only you trying to justify yourself, the world has moved on whether you like it or not and its not getting put back in the bottle.

XH was a tosser, but even he talked to/read to/sang to our children, endlessly, when they were little.

Sorry about your XH, but people can do excessive screen time and still do all of that in between.

moredoll · 19/10/2018 23:43

I understand your concerns, OP but I think you might be worrying unnecessarily. Have a look at some baby apps. They are fun as well as a distraction. I just Google 'free android baby apps' and I am absolutely ruthless about what I install. It has to be age appropriate and it has to be fun. So atm on my phone I have some from when DD was younger which she still enjoys - 'Sounds for Toddlers', 'Animal Sounds', 'Balloon Pop' and, my favourite, 'My Baby Piano', which is a keyboard but also has preloaded drum beats. I don't use that one on the bus. The latest is 'Duplo Trains' which is more complex, but which she really enjoys. She rarely wants to play it twice as it is complex for her. As I say she doesn't use the apps every day and her time is limited. As edwinbear says she sees adults using phones all the time so naturally she's curious.

holasoydora · 20/10/2018 08:05

I didn't have a smart phone with DC1 but I put on 'baby DVDs'. I was shattered and had PND and it enabled me to leave the living and make a cup of tea or have a shower. I also watched CBeebies for company long before she had a clue what was going on.

She grew up not that interested in screens.

I can't remember what I did with DC2 but I am sure I passed him the Cbeebies app from an early age. while trying to get DC1 changed for dancing or whatever.

I don't see many babies around with screens and if I did it assume the mum needed a break TBH.

Totopoly · 20/10/2018 21:07

@Justanother, I didn't in fact have a TV when my DC were small. I still don't have one now. Nothing morally superior - just not interested.

Very weird that my dislike of smartphones (not shared by my teen plus DC, needless to say) riles you so much. Not sure that it has anything to do with purity on my part - more that I have no desire to have a portable computer when I just want to ring and text people. And I am in fact posting on a desktop computer, not a laptop or a tablet (neither of which I possess). So There.

(P.S. It is Luddite, not Ludite).

Smurf123 · 20/10/2018 21:15

My son is 7 and a half months.. He doesn't get screens when we are out and about but on days like today when he was up since 4am and had only 2 short 20 min naps until he fell asleep 15 mins ago he did get to watch in the night garden on the TV because it gave me the chance to have a cup of tea get dressed and wake up enough to try taking him for a long walk to let him rest.

tootiredtospeak · 20/10/2018 21:23

My 22 mnth old DD wanted to look aa her older brother 6 was playing or watching. She has enjoyed it since about 1. Loves kids you tube, baby shark nursery ryhmes ect. She is incredibly intelligent girl and can count to 10 knows all her colours and has so much vocabulary. Its been helped along by the screen time as everything she watches is fairly educational along with some peppa pig. I dont let her have long and its usually as I have to do a job like putting washing away ect a car journey or to eat a meal while we are out.

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