To ask why people give babies screens?

[joiningmum]

Just reading another thread, and it's a topic that has come up often over recent years. I didn't even realise this was a thing as I didn't have a smartphone at the time and didn't notice others using them with infants (aspie).

I can think of many difficult moments (ASD) infact every day was difficult, disabled, with a disabled child, on public transport, trying to navigate difficulties without help. Yet I can't picture a smartphone making the situation better. I find and see the use of them with older kids who interact with the devices, but I don't understand why people give them to babies? Babies naturally observe their environment and are easily stimulated, they already have a lot to look at and a screen would be a competing demand that they couldn't interact with rather than a soother. Babies need interaction from their caregivers and need a lot of care and sleep so there is less time to fill than an older child who has developed basic skills and is securely playing with a screen.

I had a parent tell me that they thought children should be exposed to screens as early as possible to develop screen skills and boost their infants intelligence. Is this sort of view common in those that give screens to babies? It was around the time of 'teach your baby to read' and pushy type parenting was in fashion but this view seems less common now, so why are infants and toddlers using screens as part of their daily activities now? Libraries have invested money to teach toddlers to use screens too so it is mainstream. I now often see babies in prams or buggies with a screen. Is it just parents passing on what they do? Why do people do it?

I have a heavy duty rubber case for my phone. The case is now damaged but still working - the phone is fine.

DD is still stimulated by a walk in the woods or to the shops or any of her other day-to-day activities. She loves books and reading as well as all her other toys and games so I don't think the phone detracts from her experience. I think it adds to it. She was secure in knowing all her colours before 2 and I think 'Balloon Pop' did help with that. It wasn't the only source of information, but it certainly reinforced information in an easy and fun way.

I used it from about 9 months with DD I should say.

Getting through the early years is a case of following the path of least resistance coupled with the least damage. So frankly I cant get worked up about a baby watching a phone for a bit. When DS (now 27) was a baby i would put him in front of the tv or the washing machine just for the sake of 5 minutes peace.

And the judgement starts. Way to go, Cable.
How do you know they haven’t got the bag of stuff in tow as well? I always have crayons, paper, small toys to play with, a book each and usually a small jigsaw of some kind. I also have my phone on me.
And no, my kids don’t always choose the screen. Not ‘all’ kids are the same, just as not ‘all’ parents choose the same method of perfect parenting as you.

I give my baby a couple of minutes screen time a day and will probably increase it when she is older. She watches nursery rhymes. I do this because -

I am really bad in the morning at getting out of bed. I'm always knackered. I hate getting up. I let her watch a couple of minutes in bed with me and it keeps her still in bed with me and stops her pulling my hair for a second and I get a minute extra snuggled up in bed

It keeps her occupied enough so I can cut her nails without her really noticing. I haven't found anything else that works that I can do while cutting them. I found the same principle worked for brushing teeth with my eldest as well

If she is in a massive grump sometimes it snaps her out of it for a few minutes. Occasionally she gets so grumpy in the mornings (must take after me) she won't have breakfast even though she is hungry so I sometimes put it on and feed her. I dont do this very often (once every few weeks maybe) as family meal times are important to me and I don't want technology at the table to become a habit. But sometimes I just really can't be arsed to scrape yet more porridge out my hair

With my eldest (3.5), I let her watch TV or tablet while I breastfeed the baby (otherwise she plays and the baby wants to join in and won't feed) and when I put the baby to sleep (otherwise she tries to follow me and wakes her up). She isn't good at playing by herself and I haven't found anything else other than bribing her with food, that I can leave her doing without her causing mischief. I also let her watch something while I am cooking dinner and getting the baby some food otherwise nothing gets done. We try and go outside and do exercise every day and also play educational games and do some arty thing but sometimes I run out of things to do especially in bad weather or if one of them is ill. I will let her play a couple of games on the tablet but we put a 15 minute timer on my phone snd when it rings she knows she needs to turn it off. She is on technology more than I'd like but I haven't figured out other ways of helping her to entertain herself while I get stuff done (and I do as much as i can while they are in bed)

My just turned 2 year old likes charging about climbing on things and running off from us wherever we go.

I spend all day entertaining her,taking care of her etc. If I pop into a coffee shop for 20 minutes I happily hand her my phone so she can watch a cartoon (on mute) - and I get a few minutes to read a newspaper or something.

If I didn’t give her the phone I wouldn’t bother going to the coffee shop as I would have to put my full focus on distracting her, entertaining her, chasing her when she runs off, trying to shush her tantrums etc.

My oldest child is 10 now and I did the same with him and I don’t see any negative effects.

I think its good for children to have parents who have the balance right - and are not overly anxious and concerned about doing everything just right - but also not neglectful.

All our local libraries have screen time sessions during the day for toddlers/pre-schoolers. Adults led the sessions initially and then the tablets were fixed into the tables. If they wanted to discourage use they wouldn't be there, so they clearly see some benefit in it. I wondered if parents thought it was giving the same benefits to infants, just pushing the skills earlier, as that was the only explanation i'd experienced. Technology is part of life now, so I could see people thinking early adaption is positive or even required. Just like some people think reading at 3 is better than 5 or that waiting till kids are older will hold them back.

Like I said, I have a child with ASN and everything was difficult. I couldn't imagine a screen would have done anything positive during those painful meltdowns. Perhaps that's also part of my difficulty, content child could listen to conversation and look around at everything going on in the world and ASN was beyond being soothed by a cartoon. Mine weren't drawn to the telly when infants. I can see that it's just transferring a normal activity out of the house if that's what's usually done. Maybe if I was lucky i'd have had or will have a child that could been contented with that . So basically it's a toddler distraction being used the same way for a baby, as many babies are not content without the screens. Thanks

I've unfortunately seen babies with screens, even children smaller than 1 year old. I'm willing to put on my judgy pants and admit that I judge the parents who do it. People used to carry around books or small toys for their kids to occupy them when the parents wanted a bit of peace. Now, it's screens for 1 year olds.

And yes, OP, around 10 – 15 years ago a lot people were advocating giving children screens to get them started using them as soon as possible to "equip" them better than other kids who didn't have access. This was part of the Digital Divide conversation, digital natives, etc. Now that we and researchers know better, that advice is being revised.

(I work in tech btw, so I spend a ton of time in front of screens. My right eyeball is currently hurting because of it. I've been working in tech since 2006 and loads of these conversations were being had at the time. Ironically enough, a lot of the people who work in tech tend to limit their children's screen times because they realize how damaging it is for their kids.)

Ooh, it's time for screen-judge-fest, one of my favourite times of year. Pretty soon it will be time for, 'that kid's too big for a buggy-fest' and 'lazy arse parents who can't be bothered to toilet train their children-fest'......I do so love the never ending goundhog day of judging.

Libraries have invested money to teach toddlers to use screens too so it is mainstream. I would love to know where this is going on! Someone needs to get on to the Daily Mail, it's just the sort of thing they would be all over!

I’m with you OP. I’m very sad to see babies even toddlers with screens. To be honest seeing mums on screens ignoring their child upsets me more though. I sometimes engage with a toddler on a bus when mum is on a screen to give some interaction to the poor kid.

Sorry i'm just catching up. I understand more uses for it now, and didn't know about apps like toddlerlock. My ASN child was so difficult, I barely got to eat and became quite ill and mentally and physically exhausted doing it all alone. The sensory meltdowns and physical needs were so intense I just can't imagine a screen helping, a cartoon certainly didn't. It must definitely make life easier if they're happily entertained at that difficult 9 month - 2 year stage. I wasn't sure if I could manage another child, i'm used to getting to do some things without as much difficulty now and i'm not sure i'd manage to give that up again. If there are that many helpful things with a screen then life would be so much easier. Is there much longish term research on the impact though? If it's a regular option/habit? In adults there is quite a lot of comment about dependency on screens, teenagers suffering anxiety with screen separation. Would using screens from babyhood not logically mean a dependence or increased desire to use them would start earlier?

JingsMahBucket that is the stuff I was talking about. It seems like there may be evidence on both sides? If I've not had enough sleep and look at a screen for long I get a migraine, so there must be some impact? I consistently need a stronger prescription for my glasses as I've been working longer on a screen. My optician reassured me that screens aren't a cause of deteriorating eyesight though.

I work in libraries. Our service does not specifically teach toddlers how to use screens, but we do recognise that all children are now growing up with screens as an everyday part of life, and if we want to keep people using libraries we have to reflect that.

We run coding clubs for kids, as well more old fashioned story time, crafts etc. We recently did a stop motion animation workshop for kids using tablets.

I think the panic about screen use in children often comes from the fact that today’s parents didn’t grow up with screens and so see them as a threat to ‘traditional’ ways of learning and playing. I think that as our children grow up and have families, screens will be seen more as just one way of getting information and entertainment, just as our generation haven’t stopped reading books or playing sports just because we grew up with televisions.

Progression, in the 80's my mum sat me in a bouncer in front of the TV to get stuff done, (not all the time admittedly).
Bet she would have given anything for the portable option!

Hrm regarding your optician. Eye strain is a real thing and can worsen your eyes. Just like how 100, 200, etc years ago people dealt with books a lot in dark rooms had to eventually get glasses. Accountants, librarians, etc.

When my DD was a baby she would scream her way through every single car journey, and no amount of talking, singing, touching and reassurance would do anything to help. It was awful.

When she was old enough to be interested, I used to sit next to her in the back and show her nursery rhymes on my phone, which was the only way I found to keep her happy.

OP I will be brutally honest. The reason my DC started on screens as babies is because they would see me on my phone and their natural curiosity meant they would grab it and want to see what was going on. Then realised they could make it work and it was fun. They were imitating me, and it continued because it made my life easier

This isn’t really a panic though. There has been clear mainstream research completed and published within the last year about the harmful effects on children. I can grab sources and links for you tomorrow. I’m currently trying to relax my eyes and fall asleep to the shipping forecast. :)

I don’t think it benefits my child or teaches skills. It’s literally a last resort to shut him up for a bit when nothing else works.

god forbid any moderate approach to screens. I found this summary helpful clalliance.org/blog/trouble-screen-time-rules/#.WLgzE3v1Lrk.twitter . I let my baby have a screen sometimes because it delights him. It’s just a light box with noises to them. It also totally saved us from a 45 minute meltdown with him in his car seat, and no hard shoulder. He was absolutely losing it, I had tried everything, and the only thing that worked was to set a roulette wheel game spinning on my iphone and let him watch it. He’ll probably grow up emotionally stunted with a gambling problem, I’m sure*

• evidence suggests this is unlikely

My toddler gets more screen time than she should.

I don't give AF as some of the reasons are that health issues mean we lack sleep at points and so do things like watch movies. If she's distracted from being distressed thats a win, if my alternative is to have her distressed. Sometimes I even use it to give me time to catch up on sleep for me.

Horrendous parenting obviously.

Because the Gutenberg press is generally too large for my DS to handle.

It’s mostly laziness !

Baby vuvu anyone?

That makes sense edwinbear. I worry my DC will pick up on any of my less healthy habits that I might not even be aware of.

I would appreciate links.

I think I have some discomfort in the same way I dislike punishments and rewards for manipulating behaviour. Often they're used to make a child do something before they're developmentally ready, either for the adults convenience or because the adult fears the child will be unable to do it if they aren't made to. It seems sometimes screens might be being used at times where the adult is putting wants over needs, or the adult might be distracting or overriding the child's intrinsic messages (such as not wanting to eat, or being in pain, or overstimulated, or in a non child friendly environment). So the screen is screening out the symptoms in the child, so that life is easier for the adult. A lot of people use punishment and reward with kids so I can see a similar application of screens for ease, or ideas about supporting development that might not necessarily be accurate. I suppose a concern is that this repeatedly is an unhealthy message to the child, switching off their own self awareness, possible contributions to unhealthy internal working models developing, and not learning how to address their needs in a healthy manner from very very young.

But sometimes this is also easier for the baby. In the same way that older kids with ASD cope better in certain environments by using screens. But is this healthy or applicable in other circumstances? At other times the screen use is simply entertainment, and gives the adult a break at no cost to the child. It probably comes down to being selective about what the child really needs vs what you can provide and when you need the screen, and using moderation, as with almost everything!

I'm certainly not opposed to going with the easiest option sometimes. I'm still interested in the implications though, and whether they're different for babies who've yet to develop so much.

Haha reet! I can definitely see a use in a car situation, a screaming baby is a big/dangerous distraction. I forgot how awful car journeys could be. They probably do screen holders for seats now, they used to do dvd players but i wasn't sure if they were secure enough. Luckily we didn't go on many long trips, but I did stop to breastfeed a lot and took difficult public transport over cars to avoid some of the difficulties. I don't think it would've worked with our particular issues, but I can see how it could be very useful there.

BeautifulPossibilities again I imagine it's useful for toddlers in that situation, just didn't realise it was applicable for babies who (were) generally easily entertained by the natural novelty all around them such as in a park, a shop or a bus where I've personally seen it.

If babies see screens from older siblings and get hooked or interested though it makes sense. A screen with a children's tv presenter talking to them must be more engaging than a book or picture whilst mum needs a quick nap, sounds useful there.