Is this rude or just crazy

[allupsidedown]

The kids had a sleepover at Gran's Monday night. DD just told me that the first thing Mil does when I leave them for a sleepover is to strip them, put them in new clothes and wash everything they were wearing and the entire contents of their overnight bag.
I asked when did she start doing that? Did replied that she has always done it but she only realised it was weird this week. What the fuck?

Sorry missed that 1

Please take advantage of this by filling your kids bags with their dirty clothes

OCD? Is she worried about contamination?

I would just let her get on with it. It's nuts and ridiculous, but she's not hurting anyone. Just tell the children that grandma is a bit "eccentric."

Oh yes. Send their dirty clothes, next time and see if she has the ovaries to say anything. 😃

Send the crazy bat ALL of your dirty laundry

Does she keep a set of clothes for DC or does she let them take them home?

I still think OCD or some other anxiety. Hence the crying.

Send the kids in grimy clothes.

Pils won't eat in our house (have been known to drive 20 miles home to have a cuppa soup instead of eating here)

I believe this is your answer, for whatever reason she has decided she doesn’t like your standards. But of and this could be all in her head, but no amount of reasoning will change her view, I’m sure your house and laundry are perfectly fine, but she just has to wash them for her own peace of mind.

Only say this as DH is exactly the same, he is —an awkward arse— very funny on where he eats/drinks etc, if he is in a house he isn’t sure of he would absolutely never accept so much as a glass of water (he is getting better with this though), but eating at places like burger vans, cafes he’s unsure of, nearly all takeaways and even hospital cafes - forget it.

And yes, if we ever had someone staying where he wasn’t sure of their cleanliness, he would want their clothing washed too :/

My MIL did this with SIL’s children when they had been to “the other grandmas” (SIL’s H’s parents). But I think they smoked, that’s why.

OP ask a trusted friend, see if they think there is a smell.

Sounds like your MIL is just plain weird.

Send all your laundry round with the kids next time.

We always joke that he smells like Eau de OAP. Even as a joke that's pretty offensive.

I think it probably is an anxiety, OCD thing. I do love that dd1 noticed that this was odd. I'm going to try and stop thinking, "how fucking rude" and replace it with "it must be awful to be that stressed out about nothing." It must become my mantra because some days I near snap.
She must think dd2 is feral - her favourite hobbie is digging for worms and being 90% mud and dirt! That child could get dirty in a sterile room by herself!

Sounds like an OCD or phobic condition. I’d just ignore it and not take it personally but send dirty clothes.

Next time the kids go over there take a basket full of washing to be done and ask her to do it along with the clothes the kids are wearing as she is obviously so keen on laundering

It sounds a bit OCD to me.

Personally I'd try to think about it as just her being crazy in a private way rather than taking it as a dig at you (although obviously I can see that it does come across that way!).

I think you should get dh to ask her

Get DH to ask? Or even the kids? (I'm not nice).

Send the dc in all their dirty clothes, maybe a few of yours over the top, if she is gonna wash it them for you anyway, might as well make the most of it

Sorry I missed the second page and then just duplicated what 47 others had said before me! Sorry

Its such a shame that where the older generation is concerned the usual cry is crazy, batty, mad or controlling. Very few acknowledging it might be and anxiety or OCD situation .. rspecially given not being able to eat in relatives houses.

Please give older people as much understanding....

Oh hell... where else would we condone people calling someone who might have a disorder being called names !!!

If she would accuse you of being nasty why don't you get your DH to ask his mum why she does it? It should probably come from him anyway.

@tazzle22 quite agree.

Poor lady, maybe she cries because she knows it is odd, or is embarrassed, but doesn't know what to do about it/ is managing best she can.

TBH I wash all my DCs clothes when they come back from PILs - I just don't like the way they smell.. It's not a 'bad' smell but I don't like my children smelling of someone else - maybe its a primal thing?