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AIBU?

To move abroad at short notice?

36 replies

Clueless1627 · 18/10/2018 18:44

Hi everyone, this is so long, I'm sorry Blush

Me and BF together for 4.5 years, lived together for 2.5 years; marriage on the cards soon but not engaged yet as I feel too young. I'm mid-20's and him late-20's, no kids. He likes his job, I hate my job. My job is in a moderate/smaller industry but lots of transferable skills; the industry overall is very interesting but my particular area isn't, so I'm hoping to move into a different area asap.

BF has a 2 year job offer based in a European city close by which he's worked in before (about 1 hr plane ride away). He has asked me to come with him as he knows how unhappy I am in my current situation but I'm really worried that either I won't find a job I enjoy in the new city or I won't find one at all (we don't speak the language but everyone over there is fluent in English, it's western Europe). His salary can support us both indefinitely and we won't struggle. I also worry if I'm unemployed for 1-2 years what will my prospects be for my industry when we return to our home country?

BF has said that he won't go if I don't want him to but I wouldn't do that to him; he's always wanted to live abroad and this is a fantastic opportunity for him so I'm definitely making sure he goes! If I can't go right away then the plan is for me to stay behind in our flat and we see each other at weekends etc. (we did this before for about 6 months when he worked in this same city about 2.5 years ago) and I will join him when I've found something over there.

I'm desperate to pack in the job that I despise and go with him regardless of if I have a job lined up (his job would start in Feb-March 2019). But the sensible side of me thinks it's ridiculous for me to do that when I have no job security there! BF says it's totally up to me and is being very supportive but I can tell he's upset that I may not be able to go right away, he said it won't be the experience he's hoping for. Can you all give me your thoughts on this please? It's starting to upset me quite a lot and I don't know what to do.

Any and all opinions are thoroughly appreciated!

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frenchfancy · 18/10/2018 18:51

You do know Brexit is happening in March right? Your DB should be alright if it is a company secondment, but it is highly likely that you will need a work permit. Possible if you have a sought after profession (doctor, nurse, engineer...) but I would think it might be difficult otherwise.

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BrightLightsAndSound · 18/10/2018 18:52

Sounds like Brussels. You'll be fine - go for it whilst you still can

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JaiNotJay · 18/10/2018 18:58

As you hate your job here and don't need to earn money right away when you move abroad, I say go for it!

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Clueless1627 · 18/10/2018 18:58

I was under the assumption that work permits would be a slow process after Brexit, wasn't aware that they would take effect immediately after.

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lalalonglegs · 18/10/2018 19:04

If the UK and EU agree to a deal, then there will be a transition period (currently due to end Dec 2020 but likely to go on much longer) and UK/EU citizens should enjoy the same rights under that so you should be fine. If there is no deal, then who knows.

FWIW, I think there will be a deal, albeit a shit one for the UK it should be fine to go.

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Aquamarine1029 · 18/10/2018 19:26

You're very young, no kids, and you have a supportive partner. GO FOR IT! You could always come back, and you only live once.

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BlueJava · 18/10/2018 19:28

What is stopping you? Go! Enjoy! See what happens :) He sounds a keeper too.

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jellyfrizz · 18/10/2018 19:28

Do it!

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GoodStuffAnnie · 18/10/2018 19:29

Just go! Get a job in a bar.

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chickenchip · 18/10/2018 19:35

Yes definitely go! I wish I'd done something like this but then I got a mortgage and kids!

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Clueless1627 · 18/10/2018 19:42

Thank you everyone, you've made me feel so much better! I think I'm just going to go for it and apply for as many jobs as I can in the mean time Smile

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Aquamarine1029 · 18/10/2018 20:05

Good for you, op! You will have a wonderful adventure with your partner! Let us know how you're getting along.

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Justonemoremojito · 18/10/2018 20:15

Go for it.....me & my oh are desperate to live abroad for it,have you the finances to maybe do say an open uni course to set you up when you come back?

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TheMonkeyMummy · 18/10/2018 20:16

Good for you!! In 2005, we emigrated (without jobs) and same ages as you. Thirteen years later, we both have OU degrees that we studied for whilst establishing ourselves, and have completely different jobs/careers that we would not be doing in the UK. And it's a great life to have, we had so much fun, and are now enjoying bringing up bilingual kids in a fantastic setting. Even my DPs, who miss us dreadfully, tell us not to come back as we just wouldn't have the same opportunities.

And re: Brexit, I think it's right to make the leap before it all kicks in.

Good luck!!!

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HildaZelda · 18/10/2018 20:18

Go. Go now! If it was me I'd be booking that flight.

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LinoleumBlownapart · 21/10/2018 23:18

Go!

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Allthewaves · 21/10/2018 23:21

I'd go. If you can't find a job, spend time learning language and get some qualifications.

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OlennasWimple · 21/10/2018 23:26

Go now - probably the last time that it will be so easy to move there TBH

What's the worst that can happen? You don't like it and you move back. You're not much worse off than you are now, as you don't like your job anyway

Go for it!

And get on the "living overseas" board for advice on your destination!

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DasPepe · 21/10/2018 23:30

Consider it! We’ve relocated last year but we have kids - in one way it made it easy to make friends (other parents) but I wonder how it would be without kids :)

It does take a while to make new friends but there are plenty of Expat groups you can join before you even leave.

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Stars1979 · 22/10/2018 00:14

Oh yes do it. I understand your concerns and its always good to have your own money rather than relying on your partner but I’m sure you will find something. What a fantastic opportunity and worse case scenerio if it doesn’t work out you can come back. You can spin any time abroad in a positive way on a CV these days when you return. Excited for you.

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Stars1979 · 22/10/2018 00:16

Look into teaching English in a foreign language - even teaching children. Lots of European cities look for this.

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spanishwife · 22/10/2018 00:18

Yes do it! I did a similar thing and it completely transformed my life for the better. Don't worry about your job, if you aren't enjoying it now, then who cares about rushing back to it. Maybe you'll find an opportunity along the way!

Don't let Brexit scare you off, on MN it's equivalent to the apocalypse.

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SleepingStandingUp · 22/10/2018 00:20

Good God woman start packing!!!!! You're child free and not going to starve if it takes time to find work. This is a great opportunity that will be so much more complex in 5 or 10 years.

Re Brexit you don't FINANCIALLY need to work so there's time to work out what you need to do. You could also look into volunteering etc to fill the time gap from a CV, sanity, friends point of view.
Or spend a month thoroughly exploring the city.

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Yabbers · 22/10/2018 00:21

Do it. You’re young, with little to lose. I wouldn’t think twice about a gap in CV that said “travelling overseas” from someone your age.

Worst that can happen v best case scenario? It’s a win win. Take the chance before anything ties you down.

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GooseLose · 22/10/2018 01:08

Go! You could get whatever part time job, or go on a course and study, maybe teach English, you’ll find your feet somehow. Employers here won’t be overly concerned with a year or two out, particularly if you can say you wanted take time out to travel and learn a new language. If it doesn’t work out you can come back in the knowledge that you gave it a go whereas if you don’t go you will always have the what if effect.

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