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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how you keep a day off...

35 replies

cjt110 · 18/10/2018 14:50

...to/for yourself?

I only work 4 days a week. Ideas of day of spent languishing on the sofa, enjoying quiet and time alone.

In reality I end up like a blue arsed fly doing house tasks, doctors appointments, shopping, school run....

So, how do you do it? It's my day of tomorrow... I want to spend it on myself!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 18/10/2018 14:56

Well break it down.

Presumably the kids still need to be taken to school or can partner do that?
Do you have any appts?

Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 14:58

I have to take DS to school and collect at the end of the day tomorrow.

I had planned a coffee after drop off with some friends.

I also need to get a doctors appt and have blood tests done. The bloods are at the hospital and last time I was waiting for an hour.

OP posts:
ShotsFired · 18/10/2018 14:59

Don't tell anyone you have the day off, get up and go to work or whatever you do as normal, then come back home when the coast is clear?

sittingonacornflake · 18/10/2018 15:06

What @ShotsFired said

pretendingtowork1 · 18/10/2018 15:08

Getting things done is generally what non-work days are for isn't it? would be a huge luxury to truly have a day 'off' every week if you have kids. Slightly struggling for sympathy here. I'd just plan something for yourself once a month or so.

Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 15:09

It's not so much others... I have shit to do... or that I can't at least leave.

I'm fucking exhausted and want to veg at home, doing nothing.

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 15:09

pretendingtowork1 Yes, it is. But I seem to pack it all into that one day.

I have M/E and feel like I;m broken I'm so bloody tired.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 18/10/2018 15:09

Well realistically tomorrow isn't the day for it then. You need it when you have no hospital you'll need to sit around for 2 hours.
Def get coffee with your mate and get lunch somewhere etc, basically I'd stay our the house from drop off to pick up.

ANOTHER day when you have no hospital appt it's just an active choice. Come home, put kettle on, ignore mess and watch telly / read a book. Or do pthe child off and go to a nice coffee shop alone. Or to the park for a walk. You just have to make an active choice to not do anything.

Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 15:12

My husband manages it. I have no fucking clue how. I was off ill recently. Still washed up, put away blah blah blah. I asked him how he actually managed to do nothing on his day off and he shrugged.

I work 9.30-530 so fitting shit in in the morning is difficult for me so it tends to get left for Fridays.

I wish our GP did blood tests :(

OP posts:
Rednaxela · 18/10/2018 15:14

Not seeing the issue. With ME you should know better! Have you done a session on pacing?

Very little in life is actually obligatory.

Cut more out than you ever thought possible. Pace the rest. Who knows, you might even start enjoying life.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/10/2018 15:16

Bit you choose to do washing up etc. He chooses not to. It really isn't complex

Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 15:18

Rednaxela I know, I know. Pacing and all that jazz. That's why I reduced from 5 days a week at work to 4. Seems like since then, my Fridays are jam packed.

I need to get blood tests done. My last run of tests showed abnormalities which so far have been repeated twice - still showing abnormalities. I suppose an hour sitting and reading a book whilst waiting is hardly taxing....

Who knows, you might even start enjoying life. Show me the way! |It just seems all go go go

OP posts:
SkinnywannabeKBH · 18/10/2018 15:18

This is me too. I work 3 days a week, 1 of my days not at work I am looking after my 2 nephews and running about collecting my daughter's & eldest nephew from school & clubs. The other day i finally have no kids between 9am - 2pm and then its crazy. But everyone seems to think I'm sitting at home with my feet up twiddling my thumbs. My SIL has even hinted that I look after her kids on that day now. When in actual fact I'm running about like a blue arsed fly trying to get messages done, appointments, food prepped for rest of week etc... i never actually have any time to do something just me on my own. I always have kids hanging off me lol

Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 15:19

SleepingStandingUp If I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 18/10/2018 15:20

Well, actually, it would, just not as/when/how I do it.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 18/10/2018 15:26

Lower your standards, most things can wait, just do the bare essentials. Never make a plan you can't cancel. Otherwise you will be cutting down to 3 days.

BlackrockMum · 18/10/2018 15:34

ask your dh to take the dc out for the day Sunday and turn that into your sitting on arse relaxing day happy in knowledge you got so much done on Friday

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 18/10/2018 15:37

My Friday is a non-work day (though I work just as much at home as I do at work)
Shopping , taking the recycling , washing, waiting in for deliveries/repairs/taking the car to the garage etc.

If I wanted a proper 'Day Off' I'd book annual leave . I have a couple of half days next month (for having worked a Saturday) , on one I'm going to come home , put coffee on and read all the Christmas magazines . Smile

ifonly4 · 18/10/2018 15:37

There's always something that needs doing here, but it's a case of getting the right balance. Providing I'm home, I've worked out that for some reason I get down and do much much better the first couple of hours of the day, whether household, paying bills or sorting problems out.

So tomorrow you might have to wait an hour at the hospital. Do you like reading? I love it, so I'd grasp that time for a guilt free read. If not, message friends to touch base with them to save having to do it another time.

neveradullmoment99 · 18/10/2018 15:40

I do this. I have Thursday and Friday off. My dh takes the kids to school on his way to work. I lounge around and put everything on a back burner for at least one of those days. Then, I go and pick the kids up at 3pm and that's that.

neveradullmoment99 · 18/10/2018 15:41

Lower your standards, most things can wait, just do the bare essentials.

I do this.

MrsJBaptiste · 18/10/2018 15:43

I work 4 days a week and treat my non working day as just that. I'm not at work but get all the stuff done at home that I'd otherwise have to do in the evenings or at the weekend.

If I take a day off as annual leave, I want to do nice things so make sure I have time for the gym, shopping, coffee, etc.

TchoupiEtDoudou · 18/10/2018 16:04

I work a 4 day week. On my day "off" the DC are in school just 3 hours in the morning. Initially the idea was for me to go swimming and relax, to help with my health problems. In reality it's a day where I spend the whole time running around.

The first 6 weeks of term I didn't manage to go swimming once on my day off. Last week and this week I put that as priority number 1 and everything else had to slot in around it.

However, I do appreciate just being able to do 1 or 2 things in the week and thereby reducing stuff that needs doing at the weekend.

What are your weekends like? We have 2 bad sleepers so most of our weekends incorporate a nap for me both days and DH ocasionally (he never gets up at night so I get first dibs on naps!).

Actually what helps more than anything is working from home once a week. I can nip into a shop on the way home from the school run in the morning. Then into the post office on the way home from the lunchtime school run. Then finish work at the usual time, but have no commute, so go and pick up a parcel etc. I can also turn the washing machine on throughout the day if necessary.

dustarr73 · 18/10/2018 16:12

You need to put yourself first.Go for that coffee and get your bloods done.Thats important.

@SkinnywannabeKBH tell your SIL to do one.You need that day to yourself to unwind.If you dont look after self,no one else will.

DutifulDaughterWifeMother · 18/10/2018 16:14

OP, can you not get your blood test done at the local pharmacy?

Most chemists do this now, ring round your nearest one.