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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel aggravated and harangued by schools constant demands for cake, sponsorship, help?

117 replies

curiouscat · 15/06/2007 09:46

I went back to FT work this year having had 9 years at home enthusiatically baking cakes, helping at school etc. Now I feel really put upon by constant demands to make cakes, work on summer fete stalls, give cash for sponsored walks, museum trips etc. I feel I've done my bit. I get minimal holiday time and will miss sports day which I already feel shitty about. Why can't the schools/PTA just bloody get on with it. I'll go to the fairs happily and spend money but running the stalls, giving time I don't have etc is just too much. Even buying cake ingredients and baking is beyond me as the shops are shut by the time I get home. Don't know if I'm guilty or angry or both. How does anyone else feel?

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 15/06/2007 14:41

We can't make cakes anymore. Has to be shop bought cakes. I would willingly do that but I rarely have the time to do more - not that I've ever been asked, the PTA here seems to be a closed shop .

Disclaimer: The PTA are a wonderful buch of people who deserve to be worshipped on bended knee.

stleger · 15/06/2007 15:32

They also serve, who only buy the cake! Our pta ring up and ask you do do something specific off a list for a big event, like a cake, a 2 hour timeslot, selling raffle tickets etc.

barney2 · 15/06/2007 16:25

My eldest child has brought home a note today that is appealing for parents to help out with a minimum of 2hr stints for their school fair next Saturday and unless volunteers come forward the fair will be cancelled....

I would help if I could. I work Saturday mornings and my husband works in the afternoon. I have no-one who can have my kids for me (8 & 3) that haven't already got kids of their own etc etc

IMO if a school can't run a fair without relying HEAVILY on parents helping them they shouldn't run the fair in the first place. They have even told my dd that unless parents come forward it'll be cancelled.....so, nothing like a bit of pressure from one's kids too!

Twiglett · 15/06/2007 16:31

ummm .. . who the hell do you think runs school fairs .. it is parents only

I constantly am amazed at the parents who think they've done a huge job manning a stall for an hour when there have been parents working for months to pull it together .. and it needs setting up in the morning and clearing up ... so even if your school fair is 11 - 2 say .. there will be people there at 9am and still there at 5pm

if you can't go then fine, if you can only go and spend your money then fine

but nobody THANKS the pta

I'm not even on the pta any more but it still pisses me right orf

Twiglett · 15/06/2007 16:32

I would say if you have an 8 and 3 year old they can help you run a stall

unknownrebelbang · 15/06/2007 16:39

Oh hum.

Nah, Rebel changes her mind about passing comment cos she's too knackered from helping to sort out everything for the summer fete, and it doesn't even take place until tomorrow....

barney2 · 15/06/2007 16:39

Errr I don't think so somehow!! Do you honestly think having a 3 yr old help run a stall a good idea when she will be surrounded by a few hundred people, toys, bouncy castles, food....whilst she is a good girl I wouldn't daren't have her stood next to me when she could slip away or be tempted by a friend walking past! And to expect a 3 yr old to stand there for 2hrs is asking far too much....

8yr old .... yes, 3yr old...nope.

Oh and forgive me for sounding ignorant in all of this but I send my children to school to learn, to become educated and hopefully find employment afterwards. I do not send them to school to be sent home with sponsorship forms, raffle tickets, requests for this and that, money for trips, tombola prizes, lucky dip prizes, cakes etc etc. Turn the clock back 30yrs ago, when I was a young girl at school, we might have done a sponsored event but never were our parents asked to help/donate etc quite as much as parents are asked nowadays....

fishie · 15/06/2007 16:40

have just put ds (2) name down on v long waiting list for local nursery and have already been asked to steward at fete! i don't object, i think is much worse not to be involved at all than to get stuck with a tombola once a year. i really can't see the difference between helping to run somethign fora couple of hours and visiting and buying stuff from stalls.

Mrbatters · 15/06/2007 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett · 15/06/2007 16:45

the reason behind so much fund-raising is because schools are sorely lacking in funds

so either you do it with grace or don't

what pisses me off is the people who slag off PTA for actually daring to try to make a difference (not saying anyone here does)

they are valiant people giving of their time and effort

Gobbledigook · 15/06/2007 16:47

God, some people have such a narrow and simplistic view of what goes on in school.

Gobbledigook · 15/06/2007 16:47

Ah, thanks Twig

unknownrebelbang · 15/06/2007 16:51

PTA is not a compulsory activity.

You either join in, at any level, or you don't.

But please don't whinge about other people trying to enhance your children's education.

unknownrebelbang · 15/06/2007 16:52

(that's a general comment btw, not aimed at anyone in particular).

Twiglett · 15/06/2007 17:04

hey I've spent the last two mornings fixing and painting huge wooden planters outside our school

the hysterical thing is people who don't get involved in their school think these things happen because the school is paying people to do it ..

yeah right .. there's a small percentage of total numpties who do the hard graft .. the rest of them just complain about it ..

.. oo I wouldn't have chosen that colour, ooo those plants are nice

arrgghhhhhhhhh

agnesnitt · 15/06/2007 17:09

I don't think we have a PTA...

If we do they're a quiet bunch.

Agnes

Twiglett · 15/06/2007 17:11

I'm not even on the piggin' PTA

barney2 · 15/06/2007 17:22

There must be something wrong with me because I simply wouldn't have the time to get actively involved with the fundraising/PTA's at my eldest's school.

I work shifts, my husband works long hours, two kids, always loads to do/get done, no au-pair, babysitter or grandparent to take the kids for me, no spare money to put them in a club during the holidays....I basically cope/struggle/manage and simply couldn't take on anymore commitments including those the school wants help with!

I find being a full-time parent to two young kids enough to cope with! I must be getting old before my time...

NoodleStroodle · 15/06/2007 17:25

It's the sponsorship that gets me.
It is constant and drives me nuts.

MaureenMLove · 15/06/2007 17:28

We recently had a news letter home, saying that we needed to say a big thankyou and be very grateful to the PTA for donating some money towards something or another. It was my damn money that went to the PTA to benefit the kids in the first place!

barney2 · 15/06/2007 17:29

When I was a kid my parents flatly refused to support any sponsorship requests and even stopped me from going on trips that req'd money to be paid.

I must admit I'm a bit more easy-going with my eldest because it was quite hard for me to not get involved with what was going on at school so I tend to meet whatever the school ask for but I don't go overboard - ie tombola= tin of soup, raffle prize= bottle of plonk etc etc!

But we don't have a bottomless pit of money for school. We pay plenty in taxes so there shouldn't be a need for us to support our schools with their request for new equipment etc.

Cammelia · 15/06/2007 17:32

Am v. surprised by the strength of feeling that is out there against requests for help etc. All school always need to raise funds.

katelyle · 15/06/2007 17:32

The OP has obviously done her bit - you should just ingnore the letters. But we can't send out letters selectively...!!!!!!

I do sometime feel like saying to 90% of the paremts at our school"OK, how about we keep your children off the play equipment we've slogged to buy, don't give them a drink and a bag of cherries at sports day, don't give them an Easter Egg, only let them read the grotty old books in the library, not the new ones we bought, don't contribute to the cost of school trips if they need help to pay, don't let them come to Christmas parties, summer discos......' But I don't. Becuse I'm a mug - and because it really doesn't matter, but it is galling when you ask for volunteers and you get 3 from a school with over 400 pupils!

Mercy · 15/06/2007 17:35

WWW - agree with your post of 14.26

But would also say certain school events help to create the school community - but yes, they shouldn't be just about fund-raising for quite basic things in schools.

barney2 · 15/06/2007 17:39

There's asking for help and being CONTINUALLY asked for help which is the problem here, I think! Like I said at the start of this thread we are asked for one thing after another especially at this time of year and at Xmas...it must be so hard/expensive for those with quite a few kids at school.

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