To feel aggravated and harangued by schools constant demands for cake, sponsorship, help?

[curiouscat]

I went back to FT work this year having had 9 years at home enthusiatically baking cakes, helping at school etc. Now I feel really put upon by constant demands to make cakes, work on summer fete stalls, give cash for sponsored walks, museum trips etc. I feel I've done my bit. I get minimal holiday time and will miss sports day which I already feel shitty about. Why can't the schools/PTA just bloody get on with it. I'll go to the fairs happily and spend money but running the stalls, giving time I don't have etc is just too much. Even buying cake ingredients and baking is beyond me as the shops are shut by the time I get home. Don't know if I'm guilty or angry or both. How does anyone else feel?

Grrr, not offended at all.

Plus, no obligation to bake cakes - honestly! I can't bake to save my life so I never do! I buy one if I get round to it but I do 1000 other things so it's just not an issue I get uptight about.

Nobody on our committee expects people to do things they generally can't - physically, financially or time wise but I think everyone can do something however small. Even if it's just coming to the fair.

I am on the pta but don't bake cakes very often, with 5 kids inc a baby I find it easier to go to meetings, print out stuff at home, help at the fairs with baby in toe, and dh does the baking

hi grrrr I'm in a delicate au pair situation so don't dare ask at the mo but that's for another discussion ...

I am on the PTA and would be delighted with your offer Grrr. Buyers are just as necessary as bakers.
Curiouscat, I feel your pain - but clearly you have done your bit. The problem is in our school there is a core of people who do their bit and a larger group who are happy to reap the benefits but not to help out in any way however small.
For example: I run a stall at the Summer Fair. I have asked various parents if they would consider helping out for half an hour during the fair - most say no, even though both they and their partners are going to be there so keeping an eye on kids should not be an issue.
Every year it is the same people working their asses off whereas if more people gave a little of their time, it would be much les stressful all round.
But clearly the working mums cannot give as much time as the SAHMs - for me this year I am in the position of having time to spare so I am using it for the benefit of the school - when I am working fulltime again I won't be able to and I won't feel guilty either.

Rosa, I'm very much looking forward to buying the cakes so I can stop feeliong guilty about feeding the ds s shop bought cakes. I'll be disappointed if ds1's school don't have a cake stall at every fundraising event !

i have been on our schools PTA for 10yrs now, its the same old story if you don't do it no-one will. Also sec, of our local gala committee, again only the same 4 parents struggle to provide village with a full week's programme of events. I find people will attend events but no-one seems to actually want to help run it!!

Grr, occasionally we get a cheque sent into the Parents' Association via school with a note saying 'I'm really sorry I couldn't make the but here's a contribution'. Always appreciated.

Goodness me. I thought family life outside London must be so peachy. Now I see it brings its own issues of having enough people to help etc. Our primary school has 30 kids per class, 60 per year so theoretically plenty of parent helpers to go round. But it's still not fair to assume non-helpers are greedy selfish people, now that I've become one I see their problems!

Our school has approx 33 kids per class - 2 classes per year so plenty of parents yet the PTA and Friends Comms still struggle to find enough help. I've spoken to a few Mums before and they've often commented that they volunteer to help with a fayre, for example, and then get badgered for everything else afterwards - I quite often hear the comment 'helped last year, never again'....

I've also got the impression from some Mums that our PTA/Friends are a bit on the 'clicky' side....ie live in huge great houses, drive expensive 4x4s and do a lot of socialising/dinner parties etc etc outside of school and alot of Mums don't feel they can be a part of that and would looked down upon driving an old Fiesta, living off chicken nuggets and live in a council house! (hey, sounds like me!) Difficult to explain but I guess there's a certain amount of snobbery attached along there somewhere!

get your husband to buy the cakes etc.

It's a vicious circle then - it's only 'cliquey' (god, that that word) because generally there is a small group of people who do all the work, become good friends as a consequence and then do things outside of school.

I wish people would just grow up on that one tbh - we are in our 30s and 40s, not teenagers.

deepinlaundry - I understand that. Our chair is a SAHM, as is our catering manager. I work for myself and the other 2 committee members work 3 or 4 days a week - so it's a real mix.

However, there are mums at school who are SAHM with all their children in school - you see them dressed in their gym gear in the morning so are clearly spending their morning there straight from drop off. Fine, that's their choice - but no griping that you don't have time to help cos frankly that's a pile of sh*t. Just say you don't want to - be honest about it fgs.

deepinlaundry, I think schools vary hugely. All the members of our PTA currently are school staff or WOTH parents...

OP - you've done your time so dont worry about it at all. you are probably asked because you are approachable - take it as a compliment - you can just say 'my cake baking days are over but i'll buy one' or similar

i get hacked off with some parents who say they are too busy - they aren't - unless you count sitting in costa coffee as a hectic schdeule

I'm also a PTAer and I do get angry at parents who NEVER help, but always moan (not you obviously curious!!! ) But instead of having a go at each other we should be having a go at the the government for giving so damn little money to the schools. It still staggers me the things we have to raise money for. Shameful!!!

I am a SAHM. Im not a member of the PTA. I do try to bake cakes, as i cant always afford to buy them. I cant help out at fetes cos i have 4dc. Im a lone parent so there is no one else willin to help out.
My life is busy and i apologise that i cant help but i make my contribrution in other ways.

What hacks me off is when there is a small trip or activity that is going on at the school and are asked to make voluntry payment of silly amount of pennies, its some of the FTM that dont pay. Well that happens in my dc school anyway.

Hey CC, agree with your OP, have said so many times on mn and it hasn't gone down well! haven't read this thread but anyway, I'm with you. PTA is a PITA IMO.

pta wouldn't have to exist if there was enough money to pay for things like playtime equiptment, etc. We are a neccessary evil!!!

What drives me nuts about cake stalls is the tiny amount the cakes sell for. I always do a mammoth contribution (as a SAHM, I feel I really ought to) and then the cakes are sold for a pathetic amount, often less than the ingredients cost let alone the time. I am very tempted to give cash instead.

So we should be complaining abut the govt underfinancing schools, not fannying about baking cakes IMO.

Here Here WWW

lol at dissing the pta, (am skimming thread)