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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling pretty shit right now

29 replies

Dizzylin · 17/10/2018 18:31

I've recently applied for a promotion at work which was basically what I do anyway with a couple of extra bits of responsibility added on i.e. supervising a team. Another person in the office applied but she doesn't have as much experience as me and works in another department.

I've been told today that she's getting the job, aparently I'm "too nice" to be in charge of people and as we need to work closely with the other department the other lady had the advantage and that's basically what it's come down to.

We haven't had a full team for about 2 years - I've put in many hours of overtime in to make sure the job is done and deadlines are met.

The other person is going to need training to be able to do the job, and I will probably be asked to train her.

AIBU to hand in my laptop and tell them I won't be doing anymore overtime or is that to petty?

OP posts:
Original poster
Dizzylin · 17/10/2018 18:32

**too

OP posts:
Saltandsauce · 17/10/2018 18:33

That’s what I would do! And I’d be telling them youre not training her either, they are very cheeky if they ask you to!!

RNBrie · 17/10/2018 18:35

Unfortunately I generally think that when this happens it's time to think about moving on. There is no hurry but they've signalled pretty clearly that you are not promotion material - especially given the reasons for not promoting you. It's not exactly constructive feedback. Time to work on your CV.

PositiveVibez · 17/10/2018 18:36

I wouldn't train hair. It sounds petty, but they have treated you very poorly. I would carry out the role in my job description, in the hours it says in my contract. No more, no less.

LordNibbler · 17/10/2018 18:36

I'd not be doing any more overtime. Or be training her. And I'd be telling them that you're not going to be 'too nice' any more.

PositiveVibez · 17/10/2018 18:36

And as pp said, I would be looking to move on.

Original poster
Dizzylin · 17/10/2018 19:02

It's definitely time to move on, unfortunately I'm part time and part time jobs in my area are few and far between. DS starts school next year, I may wait it out and try and get a job in school hours then.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 17/10/2018 19:04

Is the person who got the job also PT?

peachgreen · 17/10/2018 19:07

They've worded it very poorly but essentially they're saying that they believe she has more management skills than you do. I suspect that's what they're interested in more than the ability to actually do the work (which can be taught).

Original poster
Dizzylin · 17/10/2018 19:13

Yes Crunchymum but she does do more hours, I would have had to increase my hours but was willing to do it.

She doesn't have any more experience in managing a team than I do, her only advantage was working with the other team.

I won't hold it against her, I actually quite like her and it's not her fault. The jobs will actually clash in a lot if ways. I can't see how I can do my job in my current role alongside the supervisor position. The only difference is having the responsibility of the team when the manager is on holiday etc which I've done in the past anyway.

OP posts:
Enidblyton1 · 17/10/2018 19:14

I love your user name dizzy Grin

In your position I would definitely be keeping an eye open for other jobs. But I’d also go back to the person who told you that you were too ‘nice’ and say that you would like a new challenge at work. Say that your disappointed by their decision and would like to be sent on a management course to enable to you to further your career with them in the future. Even better, find a relevant course and ask is work will pay for you to do it!

You may not really want to do any of this, but it will be interesting to see their response. Maybe they think you’re happy pottering along in your existing role. They need to see you have ambition/drive.
If they don’t seem at all enthusiastic, it’s definitely time to move on. But you never know, they might say yes.

Enidblyton1 · 17/10/2018 19:16

Sorry lots of autocorrect typos - hope my response makes sense!

PurpleMac · 17/10/2018 19:48

Absolutely do not train her. Tell them that if you have the skills to teach her, then she should not have got the job above you.

Same thing happened to me a few years ago. I had been on temporary promotion in the role for a year, applied for it permanently and they gave it to someone else. I handed in my notice a week later and refused to train her.

Samantha2018 · 17/10/2018 19:53

This has happened to me basically they preferred the other applicant personality wise and then let me know afterwards she would really need my help and I'd need to train her up! I politely declined and said I'm obviously not going to be able to train someone else to do the role I was unsuccessful applying for!

Original poster
Dizzylin · 17/10/2018 20:22

Thank you Enid love yours too! Right now I just want to leave but I know that's a knee jerk reaction.

I definitely think they'll want me to train her, when told today I said please don't ask me to train her - the managers face said it all really.

OP posts:
squadronleader87 · 17/10/2018 20:30

Don't do anything rash OP. My suggestion would be to give yourself a couple of days to wallow and then think about how you can turn this into an opportunity.

I would ask for some more detailed feedback and then ask for some support in developing yourself for promotion. If your organisation is keen on succession planning it will be in their interest to offer you training or perhaps projects to boost your skills. A positive response to this will get you noticed by others or will give you skills to apply for promotion elsewhere.

Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 20:35

Don't say "Please don't ask me" - say, "Not only am I not qualified to train her - or of course, you would have had to offer me the position - I am not paid to train her."

Emmageddon · 17/10/2018 20:38

Stick it out until your DC is at school and in the meantime polish up your CV, do some online courses if that will help, and keep your eyes on the job websites.

Good luck Flowers

Original poster
Dizzylin · 17/10/2018 20:52

Thank you all for your replies. I'm feeling a bit better now, I will look into online courses although I'll probably pay for them myself because I don't want to be tied to a company I'm not sure I have a future at.

OP posts:
WheelOfMisfortune · 17/10/2018 20:57

Sorry OP, that’s so shit of them.

Whatever you do, do not train her. Use the PP’s line of ‘if I’m not qualified for the job then I can’t be qualified enough to train the person who got it.’

Flat out refuse. It’s not in your JD and would be so shitty of them.

MumW · 17/10/2018 23:14

If asked to train her then the answer is "No fuck off, from now on I'm going to be working on not being kind and, in any case, you obviously don't see me as competent in the role so I'm not qualified to do it."

LaurieMarlow · 17/10/2018 23:18

essentially they're saying that they believe she has more management skills than you do. I suspect that's what they're interested in more than the ability to actually do the work (which can be taught)

I agree with this.

I'm sure it's not in your job description to train her, so politely decline if you don't want to.

gamerchick · 17/10/2018 23:25

We haven't had a full team for about 2 years - I've put in many hours of overtime in to make sure the job is done and deadlines are met

This is why they haven't promoted you. You'll do it anyway for less money. What incentive do they have?

The other person is going to need training to be able to do the job, and I will probably be asked to train her

Train her anyway, it's not her fault but you want your pay to reflect that but if you don't find another job then this will keep happening. I've learned it helps to keep current employers on side and can lead to better opportunities as they don't want to lose you completely.

Or it's a good reference?

squadronleader87 · 18/10/2018 08:43

I'm a manager and I really disagree with those saying you should refuse to train her. While I understand the sentiment, it comes across as petty. If you're planning to leave the company then fine but if you want to stay and develop yourself a more positive outlook is needed.

Whyiseveryonesoangry · 18/10/2018 08:52

If you like her, and if you feel you CAN train her, then do so. But first agree a pay increase. This pay increase should reflect the additional skill you obviuosly have to be considered a suitable teacher, plus an increase to reflect the fact that you will be working longer hours as it’s not possible to do a job and train someone to do that job without it taking a longer time.