Feeling pretty shit right now

[Dizzylin]

I've recently applied for a promotion at work which was basically what I do anyway with a couple of extra bits of responsibility added on i.e. supervising a team. Another person in the office applied but she doesn't have as much experience as me and works in another department.

I've been told today that she's getting the job, aparently I'm "too nice" to be in charge of people and as we need to work closely with the other department the other lady had the advantage and that's basically what it's come down to.

We haven't had a full team for about 2 years - I've put in many hours of overtime in to make sure the job is done and deadlines are met.

The other person is going to need training to be able to do the job, and I will probably be asked to train her.

AIBU to hand in my laptop and tell them I won't be doing anymore overtime or is that to petty?

So sorry that you've disappointed and the feedback you received is so poorly given that Its no wonder you are feeling let down / cross.

I would definitely ask for better feedback and gently challenge the - 'you are too nice'.
Was this based on the interview? Sounds more generic - which depending on process could be very annoying but - if it's the interview what gave them that impression so you can fix it.

I think you'd be wise to be careful about what you are refusing to train her on. Presumably it's the specific bits about your department that you'd train anyone new on - systems and processes etc. It's presumably this experience of people management that you relied on on your application form. Don't go above and beyond but if you want to progress in your current company don't say you can't do something that you later want to rely on.

Defiantly ask about training etc. Take advantage of the awkwardness of the situation to get something out of it for you. They need to know that they need to demotivate you. Doesn't always have to have a 'real' cost if they say that's an issue could be exposure to the work in other teams, a mentor who can develop your management skills.

I would probalay cut back on the unpaid over time for a while. I'd need to to lick my wounds but also it genuinely doesn't give the new manager a chance to fix the problem.

So much terrible advice on here. OP if you want to leave because of this that is of course your decision and doing some online courses etc sounds like a great idea. However, put it in perspective. This is about your relative skills. They felt she had more management potential than you - not experience, but potential. If you want to stay in your current company and progress, you need to ask for feedback on how you can develop those skills. Maybe you need an assertiveness course, or maybe there's some people management training you can go on. Maybe your boss could recommend a book you could read. Etc etc. Throwing a tantrum and refusing to train her is an awful idea and won't end well.

Unfortunately, being good at your current job often doesn't mean much when it comes to promotions. I've seen it dozens of times where the person with little experience but the right personality type/people skills has leapfrogged their experienced colleagues, people who trained them etc.

Their feedback to you is rubbish and unacceptable. I would ask them for a list of specific competencies you are currently lacking in their eyes for a management role, and speak to your boss about a plan to acquire experience in these. If they won't support you in development, then it's time to leave.

One of my dcs didn't get a promotion at work, they behaved in a mature way asked for feedback discussed how they could improve etc. Others didn't they got upset refused to help new person etc. Next promotion dc got it one of the reasons given they got it was their mature response to not getting the last promotion. Nobody has a right to a job getting upset and refusing to cooperate is not a good idea.