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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU- being on the phone when being served is just rude?

105 replies

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 17/10/2018 14:33

I’ve just been to pick up a parcel from the post office. The woman in front of me was on her phone, as in having a conversation, not just texting. She didn’t even acknowledge the man behind the counter, gave him the card, carried on talking, showed her ID, took the parcel and left, without pausing her conversation or saying thank you.

AIBU to think pretty much any phone call can wait a few minutes whilst you’re being served, whether that be at a post office, supermarket, coffee shop or whatever? If you must be talking on your phone, at least pause the conversation and acknowledge the person serving you? It’s just so, so rude not to.

OP posts:
Dandybelle · 18/10/2018 07:23

I've been the other end of this as well, I was on the phone to an extremely rude man who had phoned to see if an order he'd made was ready.

I could hear in the background that he was also in subway, so trying to give me his details and order a sandwich, but just kept telling me to hurry up as he was very busy but I couldn't understand the details he was giving me as it was so loud.

He got really mad at me, told me I was incompetent, and that he didn't have time to speak to me just then (he rang me🙄) and then rang back, presumably after getting his sandwich, and complained about me to my manager!

LoniceraJaponica · 18/10/2018 07:25

Interstingly DD was saying the same thing when I picked her up from work last night. She says that these people aren't answering urgent calls, but just chatting.

lolarose896 · 18/10/2018 07:29

I work in retail and don't really care to be honest. I just keep talking to them, do you want a carrier bag, that's £20 please.. I'm not waiting all day for them to finish talking on their phone!

mumof2sarah · 18/10/2018 07:34

I find it really rude. I reject a call if someone tried ringing me whilst at a till or I've even said to the person on the phone I'll call them back when I'm through the till x

SnuggyBuggy · 18/10/2018 07:38

I think some people don't get that you can reject a call TBH.

sashh · 18/10/2018 07:39

A local sandwich shop put up a sign years ago, they will not serve you if you are on the phone.

On the other hand my carer went to subway for me and phoned to ask what I wanted, the subway staff are so used to that they sometimes have the phone handed to them.

Myusername101z · 18/10/2018 08:05

Yes it’s rude

QuiVivraVerra · 18/10/2018 09:16

I had to take an urgent call the other day and was at the till in Aldi! They scan things mega quick it was a nightmare. It was the hospital calling and they are on an unknown number and a nightmare to get hold when you call them back. I apologised and took the call and the bloke didn't mind in the slightest. Some people have important stuff going on.

If I was just on the phone to a mate or family member I would've called back. YANBU, it is rude. I can't bring myself to get worked up about it though.

LanceStatersGold · 18/10/2018 09:39

I had a meeting last week and one of them kept answering his phone or randomly making phone calls. Often after he’d just asked me a question. It was so unsettling as I was there to pitch to work with them on a project. When he was engaged it was great but I was really thrown by it. I’m so used to people switching them off in that situation!

Jamjarjem · 18/10/2018 11:42

I work in a supermarket and this really annoys me! Especially when we have self service checks which people could choose to use if they don't want to have to speak to anybody serving them

IAmAHomewardBounder · 18/10/2018 12:24

I really hate this, it's like the person serving you is not worthy of common courtesy, and so I used to give people on the phone their change in the smallest denominations I could when I was on a till. I would make a point of asking questions about their order, and if they then acknowledged me or wrapped up the call I wouldn't but otherwise it just felt like they didn't even see me as a person. I put my phone down when I'm interacting with people, eg buying a bus or train ticket and have asked people who've called for general chit chat when I can tell they're also being served somewhere, to apologise to their server and call me back later. My dad said the waiter appreciated his apology, lol.

Quipsandquotes · 18/10/2018 12:27

A woman in front of me at the checkout was so busy on her phone one day that she didn't even bother to pack her trolley full of groceries as they were being scanned. The checkout assistant had to let her know when everything had been put through at which point she deigned to get off the phone, pay and then pack all of her groceries while the rest of the queue waited. You could see the assistant was fuming with her. Unbelievably rude and self absorbed.

LostStars39 · 18/10/2018 12:36

I work in a bank and have had people coming in wanting to withdraw thousands of pounds. This obviously means I have to ask a few security questions etc and just refuse to serve if someone’s on the phone. People are so rude and think just because someone’s there to serve them they’re completely beneath them.

Belina · 18/10/2018 13:02

i have sometimes been on very important calls i cannot cut just to have someone serve me. If they know what i want i dont see the problem

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes · 18/10/2018 13:53

Agree with Belina I seem to always get calls back from people who are notoriously difficult to get hold of, doctors and so on when I'm at a check out/boarding a bus etc. If it was a friend or whatever and non-urgent I would leave it but otherwise if a check out assistant finds me rude well I don't give a fuck. Half the time they are too busy chatting at length to co-workers or having an in depth conversation with the customer in front when their transaction is done while the queue builds up so I'd say they get plenty social interaction not to be upset if I can't make small talk.

melj1213 · 18/10/2018 14:28

She genuinely could not have ignored the call and was trying to eat in a horrendous day, she couldn't explain the details of the call or give any information

@gettingbackonmyfeet it takes a couple of seconds to say "Sorry, work emergency" or "Sorry, on call I need to get this" if your phone goes during the transaction. None of that gives details or information but does tell the cashier that it is unavoidable.

If she was already on the phone when she reached the cashier, the same applies -could the colleague not have said "one second" to the person on her phone to give her a moment to at least mouth "Sorry, work emergency" to the cashier.

i have sometimes been on very important calls i cannot cut just to have someone serve me.

If the call is so important that you can't tell the person on the other end "Can you please just hold one moment?" To give you a second to acknowledge the person in front of you and say a simple "Sorry, work call" or "Sorry, emergency" then perhaps you need to take yourself out of the queue until you are able to show a basic level of courtesy.

All the arguments about "well checkout staff chat amongst themselves" is irrelevant as the basic argument appears to be "I can talk to who I want and ignore staff and it is ok because I am the customer paying their wages but if staff ignore me then they are impossibly rude because they are paid to give me attention and be polite".

Politeness doesnt just apply if you're getting paid for the transaction. You can't hold other people's bad actions against the attentive colleague in front of you, just like we don't hold other customers' bad behaviour against you.

If the checkout operator is chatting to a colleague, then chat away on your phone but if I am giving you my full attention then the least you can do is acknowledge that being on the phone is rude and either put the call on hold or at least give a brief couple of word explanation to say why you need to be on the phone.

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes · 18/10/2018 14:58

I don't "ignore" staff in these situations would say 'Thank you' and if call finished quickly 'sorry about that.' But no it's ridiculous to say either explain yourself to a stranger or take yourself out of the queue until you can give the server your full undivided attention! Especially when you've usually waited ages because of the folk in front excessively nattering. Some of us have limited time in these places and have to multi task, deal with it.

Gromance02 · 18/10/2018 15:08

I've only ever done this once - spent all morning waiting for a call from my doctor about some results. Mouthed 'I am so sorry but I have to take this' to the person on the till. Otherwise, I would never do it.

bunintheoven88 · 18/10/2018 15:23

@Belina

Can't you even just mouth 'sorry' to the server during said phone call?

I'm sure if it was somebody else you deemed important enough you would bother to acknowledge their existence 

bunintheoven88 · 18/10/2018 15:24

.

seven201 · 18/10/2018 17:21

I think it is soooo rude. It gives me the rage when witnessing it. If she was on a really important call she could have at least done a big thumbs up and mouthed sorry or whatever.

BeaTrewts · 18/10/2018 17:36

What riles me is when you are already having a conversation with somebody and their phone rings - they answer it and then glare daggers at you for having the temerity to be standing there and able to hear them talking. They then deliberately turn their back on you and walk a few steps away. Grrrrr.

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 18/10/2018 19:21

@melj1213 I agree but she did mouth sorry (I thought I'd out that in my post I apologise if I didn't she mouthed it ) and she answered on call when she picked the phone up

To give clarity if it's a client on the end of the phone or the client can hear (honestly that's not uncommon) it really can set off an issue if they realise there is anyone around the on call it is the nature of the business

I realise that was a specific circumstance but I admit to being annoyed one of my managers didn't eat until gone 12.30 because of this somewhat smug " teaching a lesson about manners"

I find sometimes people are so intent on policing others behaviour they don't realise they have crossed from right to indignant nastiness

ScabbyHorse · 18/10/2018 21:08

When I worked in a shop I would refuse to serve someone on their phone!

Birdsgottafly · 18/10/2018 21:47

"I now play chicken with people in London who stare at their phones while walking along - to see if they'll look up before they crash into me"

It's really annoying that some people haven't caught up with Google Maps, usage.

On the one hand posters are saying that you should pause the call, but other posters are saying even that is rude, so you can't win.

I pause the call, or acknowledge that me being on the phone isn't ideal. It's only ever been when I've had an important callback, or a Family member has needed help.

Coming out of a queue isn't an option when you're timing buses.