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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

having to take unpaid leave to pick a sick child up early from school?

108 replies

dalmationdotty · 17/10/2018 13:12

So last week at work, school call mid morning to say DS2 is poorly, they really feel he ought to go home. School usually are pretty robust at keeping kids in welfare and only really call if feel they need to go. DS2 was feeling sick and light headed. Anyway I tell my boss if I can leave at lunchtime after I do my mornings work. Its around 11am. get several more calls from school to say DS2 now being sick. Rush to try and finish off what am doing. Colleague says she will cover me for afternoon. Leave around midday. Anyway today boys says would i like to make up my hours for the afternoon taken off of take it as unpaid leave? I have never taken time off for kids illness before. I usually either bring child to work if not too unwell or have found cover. Also colleague that covered me was asked to invoice for her overtime but she said no its fine as we all cover each other in times of need and if she had to dash off she'd hope work would be fine with it. They tell her how admirable of you, thanks. So I am now making up the hours on my day off, that my colleague has covered free of charge???? Seems wrong?

OP posts:

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 17/10/2018 13:38

I think its pretty normal. How I would feel about it would depend on whether I was expected to work early/late without being paid at other times. If I general arrived and left in accordance with my hours I'd expect not to be paid. If I frequently worked late to finish a project, came in early to facilitate breakfast meeting etc then I would be pissed off and raise it with my manager.

I would ask if your colleague who stayed and did the work for you could now be paid for her time.

megletthesecond · 17/10/2018 13:40

I always take it as unpaid. I don't have time to make up lost hours.

My work won't do flexitime so they can fiddle around and adjust my salary on the odd occasion I need time off for the kids.

LeftRightCentre · 17/10/2018 13:40

What's the problem? YABVU

mumto2teenagers · 17/10/2018 13:40

YABU.

You can't expect to be paid for the hours surely, I think it was reasonable of your boss to allow you to make the time up rather than insisting on you taking it unpaid.

Wheresthel1ght · 17/10/2018 13:40

Perfectly standard I am afraid. You had to leave work early. Legally they are under no obligation to let you make up the hours it would either be annual leave or unpaid.

Original poster

dalmationdotty · 17/10/2018 13:41

I get that it's the law etc, but I work in an environment where give and take is really important. Basically I work in the NHS and in all my prev jobs we cover each other in emergency situations like this. Its very very rare I leave work for kids illness but in my 20yrs of working , I've never been asked to make up my hours! Mainly because i work well beyond my paid hours on any given week, its just what you do. If it happened all the time or my kids was ill for 3 days etc no problem. I'll make up the hours but I'm not sure Ill be wanting to stay after surgery to do all the admin that piles up anymore, and yes all overtime is unpaid, it's the NHS!!! We don't get paid to stay late or come in early. Prob being naive and unreasonable. Anyway shall carry on! Thanks for the feedback!

OP posts:

Pinkblanket · 17/10/2018 13:42

It's quite normal. I either use annual leave or take unpaid.

Jaxhog · 17/10/2018 13:42

So you’re expecting to be paid for hours you haven’t actually worked? Sorry but Yabu. It’s normal to have to make up the hours, use annual leave or take unpaid leave.

This is why people hate working with parents who take time off for their children. Why should they have to work all the hours they are paid for, and you not? Why should they have to work YOUR hours and not get paid?

OrdinarySnowflake · 17/10/2018 13:44

There are 2 issues - should you get paid for the hours you didn't work, and if your colleague should be paid.

Its normal that you are offered the choice of unpaid leave or to make the time up (although some places will offer the 3rd option of taking it from your holiday allowance).

Then the other issue, it's worth reminding your colleague that you haven't been paid for those hours, so she should either be paid for them or ask if she can take some time in lieu. She might think she's done you a favour and covered some hours for you, but she actually did your boss a favour, so needs to ask for the time back or to be paid for it.

Ellisandra · 17/10/2018 13:46

If you work “well beyond your hours in any given week” why not just say that you’ll take the option of making up the hours - and then just count the next few times? (you could insist on counting the extra hours already done, but as you’re doing extra hours every week, it’s less confrontational to say you’ll make them up)
Then just note the extra hours over the next week and show your boss.

Cathystar · 17/10/2018 13:46

I think your employer is really cheeky - an afternoon of work was done and they got it for free as the person covering said they wouldn’t invoice. If you are forced to make it up, tell your boss that you insist the person who covered for you is paid for the extra time she did. If covering for each other is something staff at your company do regularly, which is what it sounds like, why is your boss making it harder for you whereas it sounds like others cover for each other all the time.

OrdinarySnowflake · 17/10/2018 13:47

Sorry just seen your last message - perhaps offer to your colleague to cover some of their hours so they can have a lie in, leave early etc, then go back to your boss and say you'd like to make up the hours, and you'll be covering X hours for [colleague] who covered your extra hours.

80sMum · 17/10/2018 13:49

Yes, that's completely normal OP. You can't expect to be paid for hours you haven't worked, unless you take them as part of your paid leave allowance.

Your colleague should be paid for her extra hours, or be given time off in lieu.

waterrat · 17/10/2018 13:50

Oh god on Mumsnet these threads REALLY DEPRESS ME.

How can people be such slaves to the workplace? If you work hard you should be able to walk out IMMEDIATELY unless you are in the middle of open heart surgery - to go and get a sick kid. Is it life saving work you are doing? If not - go get your kid.

If a boss can't let someone have a couple of hours off for a sick child without trying to claw back every minute they are a shit boss, don't understand how to run a happy business and are just spreading bad feeling.

We work to live we don't live to work - don't be an uptight boss counting every minute and your employees are going to give more.

tbh the saddest bit of this thread is that you ran around still working even after you knew your sick child needed you.

faithinthesound · 17/10/2018 13:50

It's sad and a shame that your DS is/was poorly, but he's your responsibility, as is your work. Your coworker ended up obligated to take over one of your responsibilities (your work) because you didn't have systems in place to sort the other (someone other than you in reserve to see to poorly children until you were finished with work).

Now I know it isn't always easy or even possible to have that someone in reserve. Not everyone has family nearby or a competent and willing support system of some shape or form. I do know and understand. I get it.

But none of that justifies making your emergency into someone else's-your coworker's-when she doesn't get paid for it and you still expect to. Life just doesn't (and shouldn't) work that way.

Chalk it up to experience and write off that money, because the bottom line is you weren't at work so you didn't earn it and therefore aren't entitled to it. Sometimes these things just happen. It's part and parcel of choosing to have kids.

Di11y · 17/10/2018 13:51

is it too late for your colleague to invoice the overtime?

waterrat · 17/10/2018 13:51

erm . also - people don't 'hate working with parents who take time off' what a miserable joyless attitude.

It really really makes me sad for modern humanity reading this - why on earth would you ever feel bitter or envy a colleague because their child is sick?! We need MORE flexibility not less. We all need to take work less seriuosly and enjoy life more. What is the point of it all?

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/10/2018 13:51

What would happen if you said to your boss you will make the hours up after work on x y and z date? You will be there anyway.

Original poster

dalmationdotty · 17/10/2018 13:53

As a single mum I can't afford to take it as unpaid leave and so Im using an annual leave day to make up the time, which is fine.
Will just make sure kids don't get ill in future or dose them up with calpol and not answer my phone! :))) (joking!)

OP posts:

Quipsandquotes · 17/10/2018 13:53

It seems petty to me. If you were doing it all the time I could understand your boss making a point. But a bit of flexibility and give and take really creates a better and more co-operative working environment. I cannot stand all this clock watching and keeping tabs on staff who are normally productive and meeting their deadlines.

Quipsandquotes · 17/10/2018 13:55

I don't think people hate working with colleagues who have young children. They hate working in a place that prioritises those staffs' needs above others eg not giving the same consideration to an employee who has to bring a sick mother to the doctor.

megletthesecond · 17/10/2018 13:55

I didn't hate working with parents before I had dc's. Shit happens and kids get sick.
I was also happy to work over Xmas, school hols etc.

Rach182 · 17/10/2018 13:55

I've never been asked to take unpaid leave for my job and as with most private sector professional jobs, I work overtime without being paid (I'm talking about 16 hours days and the occasional weekend) nor do I request time in lieu unless I've had to work on a holiday. I don't think it's unreasonable for OP to expect a little flexibility if she gives the same back. So no, YANBU.

Itsnotabingthingisit · 17/10/2018 13:57

To be honest, I would have left immediatly..I wonder what the school were thinking, having to waste their time looking after your poorly child and making several phone calls whilst you were finishing some work off.

Your boss call the shots here with your working practices, but I would say that you either have an afternoon of unpaid or work back your hours ( if you can prove you have already worked over your hours that week, present that to them ). No way can they let you just leave work without you doing one of the two, it isn't fair on staff without kids.

Your colleague covered your work load, but not your hours. You owe them a favour as well.

All part of parenting isn't it? the annual leave I have lost looking after poorly kids is very frustrating, but I would never expect to be allowed paid leave to look after my kids.

Rach182 · 17/10/2018 13:59

@Ellisandra or she could say, don't worry I more than made up the hours on unpaid overtime last week/ last month/ year? If her boss is being a dick I don't know why she should bend over backwards.

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