Ok, so a bit of a rant but what would you have done in this situation?
So we were at a big family birthday party with a handful of kids and about 30 adults. My kids had been going non stop since it started at 7pm and it is now 10pm and they are past it! So we start to say our goodbyes, I said goodbye to my mother-in-law first, kiss on the cheek and a hug, then she asks my eldest son (6) for a hug “give me a hug, Samuel” but he declined and she asked again “why won’t you give your grandma a hug?” With her arms out. He still declined by shaking his head and backed away.
But then she said to him, “You are so mean, Samuel!” She wasn’t joking either.
This was right in front of me and I just froze. It was obvious to me and anyone else that he didn’t want a hug (he has never been the affectionate type, especially when he is overtired) and I didn’t want to make him hug her (who would want a fake hug anyway?).
so I just let him go off and play. It was so awkward that I just ran off to my youngest who was covered with chocolate to leave the situation.
As we left, an hour later, my husband was very angry with Samuel and I asked him happened and he replied “He just refused to hug my mum!”
I just couldn’t believe that she had tried for a hug again! I felt really sorry for my boy and thought about it all night as I couldn’t understand why people were getting so angry about it. I think it’s because I would never force a child for physically touch without asking them as I always say “can I have a cuddle, please?” When I would like one or saying goodbye but if a child said no, I would respond, “okay, how about a high five?”
But then, is my son being disrespectful by not doing what he is told by his grandma? Is it rude?
Also, do I say something to her? What SHOULD I have said at the party?
Not sure what to think on this one guys. Let me know.
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Should you force your child to hug family members?
50 replies
MummyOfFourBoys · 16/10/2018 20:53
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