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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the Estate Agent is sexist?

41 replies

Highlandheath · 16/10/2018 19:45

I was selling the house in line with a Court Order following divorce and awarded Conduct of Sale by Judge because the ex wouldn't agree to instruct agents. The house, in joint names, went on the market, got offers, ex refused all offers, so house remained unsold. Then, wallop, ex sends court summons because the house is unsold, in breach of the court order and attached to it are reams of communications the Estate Agent had been sending him, sweet little weekly updates on who was viewing and what the feedback was, well in advance of viewings, "Just a quick update on where we are", "to follow up on my email of yesterday the viewings today when really well" etc... while me, living there with the children, was lucky to get 24 hours notice, had to chase to find out who was coming, was ordered to leave the house with the children during viewings, and got absolutely minimal feedback. He based a lot of his application to court on the argument that I was blocking the sale by not keeping the house in a tidy enough state, the Estate Agents didn't say a word about this to me, but I've now seen their emails and they say things like "she isn't keeping the house as tidy as she might" and "she needs to tidy up the front garden". I can't see any reason why they would not communicate with me, or at least copy me in on all communication relating to a house where I live, and jointly own, while emailing him with proper feedback. It seems to me that the Ex Lord of the Manor was getting class A service, and I was being treated like a skivvy... Does this look like gender bias?

OP posts:
Mammylamb · 16/10/2018 19:51

Absolutely livid in your behalf. EA is a cunt

ShirleyPhallus · 16/10/2018 19:53

I wrote once on MN that estate agents go to a special school learning how to be cunts

They privately messaged me and said they agreed but too many estate agents had reported the post so it had to go!

Jack65 · 16/10/2018 19:55

Sack them.

Biancadelriosback · 16/10/2018 19:57

Call them on it. Email and ask why they havr not been keeping you in the loop. Tell them that if they do not cc you into every email going forward you'll list elsewhere or take this to their manager

Original poster
Highlandheath · 16/10/2018 20:27

Does it look like gender bias to you though? BTW, I have three children and work, the housework does get done though... One of the estate agents was saying how lovely and tidy it is, but the other one is saying it's a shit tip! and "she needs to tidy it up"......never to me though, always to the ex, who is not there, because I have an injunction!

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 16/10/2018 20:30

Sexist male estate agents? Next you will be telling me the Pope is a Catholic.

HopeClearwater · 16/10/2018 20:32

The EA is an arsehole. Watch out for removals companies too. Sexist as hell

SayNoToCarrots · 16/10/2018 20:36

What pricks. Can you drop them and get someone less shite?

tenorladybeaker · 16/10/2018 20:38

I've not yet met an estate agent who wasn't sexist. Yanbu

pandarific · 16/10/2018 20:48

Not surprised in the least - there are a lot of exceptionally thick AND sexist estate agents. One from Fox and Sons would only speak to DH - when we were both standing there - nope, everything must be addressed to the Penis Owner.

Then there was the one who made a joke to me about the drunken and dimwitted Irish in the area... I'm Irish. He genuinely seemed to think this was the height of friendly hilarity. Confused

A good, smart EA is hard to bloody find.

StormcloakNord · 16/10/2018 20:54

Eugh.

When I tried to tell our EA to put an offer of x amount on a house we wanted he basically said he needed to check with DP first. Wouldn't take my meek womanly word for it so went to DP. DP was livid and tore him a new one for being such a sexist pig. Grin

Almostfifty · 16/10/2018 21:05

I'd be in there tomorrow with all the copies and discuss it with his manager. What a sod.

ButchyRestingFace · 16/10/2018 21:08

Does it look like gender bias to you though?

It certainly looks like cunt bias - as in, one cunt to another.

Has the EA met your ex? Is it poss he/she fancies him? ¯\(ツ)/

**

Original poster
Highlandheath · 16/10/2018 21:14

Hello Butchyrestingface! Just went off for a cup of tea and a biscuit and came back, to the thread.. There are two female estate agent who dealt with the day to day, and YAAAS they have both met the ex who is 6ft4, rich and good looking... Oddly enough, there was a whole LOAD of lovely messages from the main pain, on Valentine's Day!!!!! Hoo hum!!! Along the lines of "It pains me to say it, but I feel I really must be truthful, and tell you that R is not keeping the house in as good a state as she could do"..... Now I read it in the context of your comment I'm seeing waves crashing on a beach.......

OP posts:
MakeAHouseAHome · 16/10/2018 21:33

Did your ex initiate any of the contact? Has he asked to be kept updated, as in actively asked while you haven't?

buckeejit · 16/10/2018 21:38

Raging! Defo speak to the manager

ButchyRestingFace · 16/10/2018 21:40

Did your ex initiate any of the contact? Has he asked to be kept updated, as in actively asked while you haven't?

Even if he had, her emails are totally unprofessional probably because she wants into his pants.

Ginkypig · 16/10/2018 21:43

I'd be sacking them, finding someone else and telling them why!

I'd also be contacting someone to do with the case to inform them of the reason (him refusing all offers) why the court order isn't being carried out.

Purpleartichoke · 16/10/2018 21:44

Absolutely sexist and possibly in breach of their contract with you. I would report to the EAs supervisor.

MakeAHouseAHome · 16/10/2018 21:45

Erm nothing unprofessional about relaying facts (i.e. house/garden need to be tidied) if this is true.

So depends if the issue is with the lies (of they are lies) and that has nothing to do with gender.

Or if the issue is the fact she is only contacting your ex. So to my previous point, has he actuvely been asking to be kept in the loop etc.

ButchyRestingFace · 16/10/2018 21:49

Erm nothing unprofessional about relaying facts (i.e. house/garden need to be tidied) if this is true.

One would think if the EA wanted to secure a sale, the first point of contact to relay those facts to would be the resident in the property, rather than emails to the non-resident who has actively blocked any sales.

I'd definitely complain, and ask another agent to take over handling of the property.

sprinkleofsunshine · 16/10/2018 21:56

Yes I'd definitely complain and ask why you weren't copied into it etc. Then I'd tell them you'll be finding new EA!

Justanothernameonthepage · 17/10/2018 05:50

I would email and cc in the practice manager asking why on earth they were able to give advance notice to someone not living there but we're unable to extend the same courtesy. Why they felt the need to criticize the condition of the house for not being show ready without advance notice and if they are simply unprofessional or unwilling to do their jobs.I would then ask if there are any other staff members able to conduct viewings. I would also double check the contract for when you can instruct another agency.

Justanothernameonthepage · 17/10/2018 05:51

It probably won't change much, but it will make you feel better and will have it on record ready for court.

Justanothernameonthepage · 17/10/2018 05:55

Oh and we bought a house in similar circumstances. The house and garden were in poor order - but the person staying in it kept refusing offers/mucking around. The judge ended up giving complete control over the house sale to the one who had been happy to accept reasonable offers. If you're getting offers, the condition of the house is not putting people off. Get a pack of evidence together with offers and dates your ex refused them.