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To not to take off this ring? 💍

61 replies

Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 19:37


OP posts:

DoinItForTheKids · 16/10/2018 21:26

But so what if OP likes it?


RickyGold · 16/10/2018 21:39

If you like it wear it. I am currently wearing a dress ring on my left ring finger as I am contemplating buying a ring which I will wear on that finger, I love jewellery and already wear a ring on my right hand, I am trailing out with a ring I already have before paying out on the ring I have my mind set on. I am not engaged, live with my partner but have no plans or desires to marry (both had messy and expensive divorces). I have decided that life's too short, to not have a gorgeous ring just because society dictates that's that finger is meant for engagement rings.


MinecraftHolmes · 16/10/2018 22:30

Hopoindown It's on the wrong hand for the UK, and it's on her middle finger. It doesn't matter about the style of the ring but what hand/finger it's on.

Next sell rings that look like that, and they're not in the market to be peddling engagement rings. Here's one for £14.

I stand by what I said about the OP having bigger concerns re: the boyfriend's reaction to a potential assumption, especially as the OP says they've been together for 4 years and have never discussed marriage.


Gingerrogered · 16/10/2018 22:36

So you have been together for four years and he’s suddenly asked you to stop wearing a ring you’ve worn the whole time?

I would assume he’s going to propose and either wants the ring off because he’s going to propose or measure it?

If you’ve just started wearing it he might feel you’re dropping a huge hint and is uncomfortable.


Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 23:09

Okay this might come across a bit as materialistic but I'm entitled to an opinion so here it goes:
I think an engagement ring is meant to be for life therefore I would like to think if my boyfriend was to propose he'd propose with a slightly more valuable ring. I did not pay that much for this ring. I understand there are tricky situations in life and money can be tight but in that case I'd rather just be asked the question without a ring rather than ask the question with a 'cheap/you can buy anywhere 'ring because he had to get me a ring. Ah gosh I hope it make sense.

What worries me now is that we should have talked about marriage because we have been together for 4 years? I mean is that bad that we didn't ? Is it something we should have had a chat about :S

OP posts:

Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 23:10

@Gingerrogered I bought the ring about 1-2 months ago

OP posts:

Gingerrogered · 16/10/2018 23:20

Oh, it was one or two months ago. Yeeeaaah, he probably thinks you’re dropping a massive hint and feels he’s being pressured. Do you think there could be a tiny little bit of you that is?

A hate to say it, but if I saw someone in your situation doing that, then I would assume they were dropping a not very subtle hint they wanted a real one. Sorry, I wouldn’t blame him for feeling like that.

It might not be so much ‘I don’t want you to wear the ring’ as ‘I don’t want to get engaged right now and I don’t want to be pressured’.

It does sound from you talking about your thoughts on engagement rings and whether or not it’s a good time to get married that you have had it on your mind. And I’m guessing given your ages and how long you’ve been together their might be some expectation.

If it is the case that you want to move it onto the next level and are trying to hint, you’d be much better off just talking to him and asking him where he sees your relationship going and if he sees marriage and/or a family in the future.

If you are hoping it’s a waste of time hinting and you just need to front it out. If you don’t want the same things you’d be better off finding out and cutting your losses rather than beating around the bush dropping hints.


Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 23:34


Your last post makes sense and it would explain why he wanted me to take the ring off. I don't think he wants to get engaged/married, weplay not in the near future. I was going to keep the ring on but I don't want make him feel I am putting pressure on him.

Of course I have been thinking about engagement on and off. So many of our friend especially his are getting married. I have had thoughts on it but the end I get to the conclusion that I'm not ready.

I do love him to bits and would love to have a family together but in the future. Maybe I should just talk to him about this so he doesn't misunderstand the ring. I think we are on the same page about these things (even tho we haven't talked about it I just feel like we are) but I confused him with the ring. 😳

OP posts:

Gingerrogered · 16/10/2018 23:45

Maybe. But be honest with yourself about what you want. If you have red lines in your head, for example when you’d like to have children and if you’d like to be married before then, don’t feel like you can’t tell him that. You’re absolutely totally not unreasonable if you do have feelings about where you want the relationship to go. But it’s always, always better to be upfront about these things, honestly.


dinkydonky · 17/10/2018 15:34

I think he is being very unreasonable!

Yes it looks a bit like an engagement ring, but so what, you aren't engaged, you aren't wearing it on your left ring finger (or even on your left hand OR your right ring finger!), you've admittted neither of you are ready to be married and it's not a good time for it.

So basically he's annoyed because you bought yourself a cheap diamond ring? He needs to give his head a wobble.


cleopatracomingatya · 17/10/2018 15:38

eh, my boyfriend bought me a similar looking one and i wear it on my right middle finger too.

No one has been dim enough to ask if im engaged hahaha

tell him to fuck off :)

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