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AIBU?

To not to take off this ring? 💍

61 replies

Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 19:37

I

OP posts:

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Hopoindown31 · 16/10/2018 20:11

Many countries do wear wedding and engagement rings on the right hand including Poland Denmark and Norway, many people in Germany also wear it on the right hand too. Given that we have quite a few Polish people in the UK it is not uncommon to see wedding ring sets being worn on the right hand.

At the end of the day OP you have bought yourself a diamond solitaire ring that anyone would be forgiven for thinking means you are engaged and not all cultures wear these rings on the left hand. You can wear what you like but I expect your bf has probably been 'congratulated' a few times which can be a pretty uncomfortable situation to be in if you aren't really engaged.

MinecraftHolmes · 16/10/2018 20:12

It wouldn't look like you're engaged. I'd be more worried as to why your boyfriend is so offended at the prospect of having people assume you're engaged.

ThistleAmore · 16/10/2018 20:17

Just out of interest, how old are you and your boyfriend?

kaytee87 · 16/10/2018 20:18

@Hopoindown31 not on the middle finger they don't though

Hopoindown31 · 16/10/2018 20:18

@minecraftholmes

Really? I think it would lead to lots of awkward conversations explaining that you aren't tbh. I prefer to not be in situations where I encourage people to make false assumptions about me if I can avoid it.

Hopoindown31 · 16/10/2018 20:19

@kaytee87 people don't always pay that much attention.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/10/2018 20:21

What's wrong with him? Does he know an engagement ring goes on the ring finger on the left hand?

You're wearing yours on your middle, right?

AcrossthePond55 · 16/10/2018 20:23

I have to admit that my first thought would be “Why is she wearing an engagement ring on her right hand?” Because to me that defo looks like one.

But I’d figure it was a family heirloom or that you were divorced and liked your ring so kept wearing it, not that you were engaged. I wear my grandmother’s engagement ring on my right ring finger.

TickTickBoomBoom · 16/10/2018 20:27

This reminds me of when my DC were babies. I didn't want to wear rings that could snag or scratch them, so asked my now ex if he could buy me a plain gold band for Christmas, as that'd be better to wear. He did, but when we went to the family Christmas 'do', he asked me not to wear it, as he didn't want them thinking he'd proposed to me.

Well, I took the ring off, threw it at him and told him he could keep his fucking ring! No idea what happened to it after that.

Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 20:30

I'm 27 and he is 33. We haven't really talked about marriage etc yet. Been together for 4 years and we had our downs but still love each other very much. Right now getting married wouldn't be a good time. Work is too busy, loads of family issues, especially on my side :( and also I am not ready (neither is he i think)

Little drip feed. I had a right on my right middle finger before. I got it from a close relative but our relationship went sour and I took off the ring. I still have it in my jewellery box but don't want to wear it but was missing to have a ring on that finger. My boyfriend doesn't know about this it all happened before we met.

OP posts:

AnnieAnoniMouse · 16/10/2018 20:30

Of all the jewellery out there, why on earth would you buy yourself an engagement ring?

It’s your ring, your hand, do as you please...yadda yadda yadda ‍🤷🏻‍♀️ but I’m not at all surprised he thinks it’s weird and would rather you didn’t wear it. To ME it would seem like an engagement ring from a previous a previous relationship.

category12 · 16/10/2018 20:35

It's a funny style of ring to wear randomly - it just looks to me like your typical engagement ring. But I'm not a jewellery person.

ButtPlugInMyHalloweenHaul · 16/10/2018 20:38

You need to deploy your middle finger but not for ring wearing OP.

ShirleyPhallus · 16/10/2018 20:40

I think you need a bigger conversation about your relationship tbh

Also think it’s a little bit odd to buy yourself an engagement ring!

WheelOfMisfortune · 16/10/2018 20:42

It’s in your right hand, Yanbu.

Tell him to calm the fuck down or fuck the fuck off.

GruciusMalfoy · 16/10/2018 20:44

What anyone else thinks about the ring isn't really relevant, you like it. He's being daft, it's on your middle finger, it might look like an engagement ring, if it was worn on your ring finger, but it isn't. It's just a bit of jewellery.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 16/10/2018 20:47

Long shot but He may be annoyed as he was going to buy you a ring like that ?? He may think it's an engagement ring from an ex?.
To be honest I would think it odd if my gf bought herself an engagement ring ( even if worn on other hand)
Odd choice of ring,
Confused as to why you can't get engaged because of your family?
The relationship sounds a bit rocky

BewareOfDragons · 16/10/2018 20:50

Ask him why he's so insecure about what other people might think? It's not even about him, it's about you! And you like jewellery.

MrsTommyBanks · 16/10/2018 20:55

Maybe he is going to propose soon and thinks your ring will take something away from the one he wants to give you?

Namechange1907 · 16/10/2018 20:58

Okay. Lots of different opinions.
@Nofunkingworriesmate well I would want to get married or engaged while things are not sorted with my family cause I'd want to share my happiness with them. It is about me and my partner obviously but would you jot want to include your family in your happiness when decide of getting married? Maybe it's just me😳

I am looking at the ring and for me it looks like just a normal ring. I personally wouldn't label it as an engagement ring.

He hasn't mentioned anything about the ring since I told him to piss off and things are normal. Busy life, weekends together nothing changed in his behaviour.

OP posts:

Andylion · 16/10/2018 21:09

I am looking at the ring and for me it looks like just a normal ring. I personally wouldn't label it as an engagement ring.

To me it looks like an engagement ring. In fact, it looks similar to my mother's engagement ring, which I am right now wearing on the middle finger of my left had as that is where it fits.

Most people I work with know I'm single so wouldn't assume I was engaged. But if people know that you have been with your boyfriend for 4 years they might see the ring, not notice which finger it's on, and make as assumption.

But yeah, it's your hand, your ring.

RubiksQueen · 16/10/2018 21:14

It looks like a ring you could use as an engagement ring.

BUT:

I have a ring that if I wear it on my LH ring finger could be seen as an engagement ring. I wear it on my RH ring finger. I also wear (on the same finger) a silver ring with little stones round it that's not dissimilar to my sister's engagement ring, but the two look nice together and would look like a ring set on the other hand. Nobody has ever assumed it was all from my OH or that we are engaged.

I also wear a ring LH middle finger.

If you like it, wear it, life is too short to worry about what other people think. If people ask, you can say 'oh no, I just wear it because I like it'.

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FelicisWolf · 16/10/2018 21:17

If someone thinks a ring on your right middle finger is an engagement ring, they're an idiot. Your boyfriend also needs to get a grip. Should women never wear a ring on ANY finger until they're betrothed?!

CandleWithHair · 16/10/2018 21:18

YANBU. Wear what the fuck you want.

I am considering getting my engagement ring back out from my (ended) marriage. It’s the most gorgeous ring ever and I love wearing it. I don’t give a hoot if someone thinks I’m engaged or not. What difference does that make to anyone?!?

OlennasWimple · 16/10/2018 21:21

That absolutely is a classic engagement ring

Anyone who thinks it isn't must be looking at a different picture to me

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