To ask if your husband/partner goes to the gym or exercises regularly?

[JustGettingStarted]

And, if so, do you?

The reason I ask is that I have noticed a discrepancy in the typical age ranges of gym goers. I see men of all ages (18-70's) at the gym at all times of the day. However, I mostly only see women either younger than 25 or older than 40. I see relatively few 30yo women at the gym, but lots of 30yo men - many wearing wedding rings.

Then, I notice on here many threads from women with younger children looking for tips on home workout videos, how to get in shape without a gym, etc.

I sometimes think that mothers are staying home while fathers feel free to take time to exercise.

Just curious to hear your annectdata!

Gym classes where I am are full of women in late 20s and 30s - weekday evenings

Yes, I’ve also found the classes to be mainly women. Occasionally see men at body pump and body balance, but almost never at the trampoline one or dance classes. Body combat seems to be mainly women too.

Oh this thread has got me thinking how much I liked the gym. I might rejoin.

Unfortunately not, no. But neither do I.

I keep promising myself to take up spinning again.

Sigh.

I LOATHE classes - for me, working out is a form of meditation, and I can't do that if there are other people around, apart from my PT sessions. I like weights and HIIT-type interval training.

Same with running - OH has hinted about us running together, but absolutely not: that's my headspace and, lovely as he is, he's not welcome.

I tend to go to the gym first thing (so 6/6.30am, before work) - maybe that's why I see quite a limited pool of people.

This was me when dd was younger. Dh was off doing sports and i couldn't as someone had to stay with dd. Oddly enough his sport was always too important to miss.

Now she's old enough to be home alone I'm in the gym 6 days a week, often for 3 hours plus per day.

Dh isn't happy and moans a bit but I do point out he can't talk.

I like to work out alone, too! It's me time!

I've noticed it depends what time you go, school drop off/pick up and dinner time is virtually void of women but plenty of men.

I go to the gym I'm 38, my husband doesn't he's 36

DH currently goes to the gym twice a week as he's recovering from an injury so can't play hockey.

I swim and climb. Swimming is twice a week when DS is at school as I work PT.

We're both 39.

I go to the gym or for a run when I can. I'm on hiatus with a bad toe at the moment so struggling a bit as our local pools are crap too.

I never understood the expectation that some women have that they just can't make time. When their partner can somehow make the time??

You make time by telling him he's on kid duty for 2hrs twice a week and if he doesn't like it 🤷🏼‍♀️ ahh well. Sucks to be him.

DH cycles to and from work so it doesn't take any time out of family time. I also cycle but less frequently due to work commitments and distance. I am more likely to go to a class than him but neither of us has gym membership. I am trying to encourage him to get back into swimming as it's very good for his asthma but it's hard to find the time. I would not be impressed if he tried to bugger off to the gym and left me at home with the kids.

Freebutton

"Tried to bugger off leaving me with the kids" surely you both deserve some down time to yourselves, while I appreciate it would be demanding if he took up body building, I don't think it's selfish to want to go do a bit of exercise to yourself, for mental as well as physical well-being...so long as it was a 2 way street of course. Never understood the idea of becoming a parent needing to mean being shackled to the house.

I’ve never understood the idea that being a parent doesn’t mean being shackled to the house. If you have young (preschool and below) children then unless you are at work you need to be at home pitching in. The odd night out excepted of course. I go while the kids are in school now they are older. DH runs. When they were younger I did nothing and he ran while they were asleep. Time to yourself is a luxury which o wouldn’t expect until child is at least 3. At least not on a regular basis.

I would also have been pissed off if he left me with the kids to chill out in the gym. Plenty of home workouts and diets you can do that still let you pitch in with childcare.

Both of us do a lot of exercise but neither of us use a gym.

When I was in my thirties with small children I started running as that was cheap and flexible. I also use weights at home.

In my area most of the women I know women run or cycle and/or do boot camp type classes.

I also know quite a few couples who have their own equipment eg treadmills, exercise bikes or cross trainers at home.

A gym is not the be all and end all of exercise.

Rainbow

If I gave into parenting like that I'd have been miserable, it's very important to me to have my own space, my own identity as a person separate to a mum. We don't have pre schoolers any more (hurrah!!) but have always worked therefore had childcare, so independent time could come in the period of time between work finishing and childcare finishing (Not everyday). But mostly through tag teaming if necessary, I think it's a strange thing to resent a partner because they need to go do something independently, I wouldn't feel like the kids had been dumped on me, but I might feel different if I was a stay at home parent (not sure if you are or not) or if it wasn't done in a balanced way. But I may be in my school starter smug zone with rose coloured glasses, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so chill in the babe in arms phase.

Time to yourself is a luxury which o wouldn’t expect until child is at least 3

Goodness.

Two cooperative and well organised parents should be able to arrange their household so that everyone has time to fulfill their physical/emotional/mental needs while still ensuring the children are well cared for.

I have twins and when they were 18 months old I was running 50k per week. We’d put them to bed and then I’d go for an hours run. DH did his training early mornings.

I was a SAHM at the time but never considered myself “shackled” to the house.

When i went to the gym i was 29 but the gym instructor thought i looked 19! Maybe you're not judging women's ages well?

DH does ‘Fit Club’ circuit at the gym every week day.

I do HIIT and yoga every week day

We practice yoga at home together at the weekends / go on long walks with the dogs.

@RainbowBriteRules 😂 yeah OK I'll chain myself to the house when my kid goes to sleep at 7pm. Shall I just sit like a miserable old bag on the couch until my bedtime? I guess that's what you do.

I had no need for the gym until my knees began to ache from running. In my thirties I mainly did running and the groups were mostly women, even now I see more women running than men and my group in about 70% women. I was always of the mind why pay when I can get fit for free. It changed when that was impractical and the children started using the gym facilities. DP has always done weights so has always been a gym member.

After they go to sleep there is the chaos from the day to tidy up, stuff everywhere, usually a meal to make for DH and me and to tidy that up, certainly that was the case when they were tiny. Then laundry to put on, to put away, stuff to get ready for the next day. That’s hours of work right there.

When kids are tiny they will often wake frequently in the evening. And mine were very rarely reliably asleep by 7! I almost never sit on the couch even now they are much older. I sit down about 10pm, often later.

Anyway, to properly answer the OP. I don’t think it is so much age of people in the gym but the age of their children that seems to influence things. Lots of people with no children. Lots of people with school age children who have days off in school hours. In the evenings it is both sexes with older children who can be left at home alone. Or lots of men trying to escape tea, bed and bath time.

Of course there are a few but there is a distinctly reduced amount of people with children age 0-3.

I'll bet there are more mothers of toddlers unable to exercise than fathers of toddlers.

Rainbow

Your experience of parenting is very different to mine. My husband and I did everything 50/50 (still do!) my arse was (and is) firmly on the sofa by 7.30pm. I work full time and don't find myself ran that ragged. What you describe sounds miserable!

At the moment DH is gearing up to get back into the gym. He's had some time off from it and wants to get back in shape again. He prefers weights as do I. He is 40 this year

I am 30 and at the moment, am doing an at home workout programme that kicks butt and gets my cardio in shape. I do this in the evenings when LO is asleep.

Eventually, when the time is right we will go to the gym together and do weights whilst LO is put into the gym Creche 😃😃

I miss doing weights like mad. They really tighten everything up and give a nice body shape. I used to play rugby so I like lifting heavy but the weights we have at home just don't cut it 😂😂 can't wait to get back in the gym.

DH very hands on although does sit down nearer to 9pm. I can’t leave the mess so tidy / sort stuff for an extra hour.