To ask about your post-baby body?

[mumbod3]

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today and need a bit of guidance...

For context, I'm in my mid 20s and am nearly 5 months postpartum and I look like a deflated balloon.

My fault entirely, I ate for about 15 during my pregnancy. I'd always been very slim (5'2 7st). Mainly because I had a high-stress job and pretty much survived on cigarettes and caffeine. I gave both up during pregnancy and replaced it with food instead! I ended up gaining about 3st in total.

I had a pretty big baby for my stature. She was 8lb 7 and even the midwife said that she was surprised that I'd had such a big baby.

I'm now left with separated abdominal muscles, which make me look like I have mum tum and my boobs are bloody awful. I take my bra off and they're honestly saggy and disgusting. I'm so ashamed of myself and I feel awful.

I know that I am blessed with a big healthy baby, but is there any advice from anyone who's been through similar?

I’m 5ft 6ish, weighed 9 stone before my first baby and gained 3 stone with the pregnancy. He was 8lb 9 when he was born.

When I was pregnant with number two I was again about 9 stone prior to the pregnancy and gained about three stone that time too. He was 8lb 13 when he was born.

I had to have c-sections with both pregnancies.

Bar a break of about 6-7 months I’ve been breastfeeding for over 4.5 years.

My second baby is 14 months old now and I’m back to being just under 9 stone but boobs are completely ruined and my c-section tummy is awfu - I hate it.

Sometimes I look at my naked reflection in the mirror and feel pretty glum about what two pregnancies and breast feeding has done to my body.

3 stone I think is quite an average weight gain, especially as you were so tiny anyway.

I gained over 3 stone (stopped weighing myself) and my baby was 7lb 3...

I got stretch marks EVERYWHERE. All over stomach, thighs and now boobs. I am using bio oil though and they are fading slightly but the texture is still the same. Tummy is still saggy, I think with exercise this will improve but with a baby that has colic I just cba right now. She is 3 months old now.

I think it’s shit that there is so much pressure. The fact is that most women just don’t look the same afterwards. All we see is celebs on insta with their 2 weeks PP baby bodies with no marks. Which just isn’t realistic.

I can’t say I’m someone who is proud of the ‘tiger stripes’ as I’d prefer it if they weren’t there, but I have come to accept it and think in time I will become the best version of my new self . I’ll probably never feel comfortable in a bikini again though.

Baby number three here, he is 17 weeks. Struggling with my weight for various reasons & yep, the mum tum is huge.
I've found a 'mum & baby' fitness group that is run specifically for post-partum fitness. Can't say if it works yet as the classes are hit & miss but maybe something like that would work?

It will get better I promise. Well done on only putting on 3 stone, I put on 4

It takes time, it really does. Can you get out to any exercise classes with baby? I'm thinking of doing couch to 5k to help me shift the last bit

Sympathy - I've had three now and I can't remember how much I gained each time but I'd guess at least three stone.

It can all massively improve over that first year or so, though. You had 9 months of your body inexorably getting bigger, it would be unfair to expect it to take less than that to get back into shape.

Ironically, I was in my best shape ever about a year after each was born. Yes, everything sags more and I really wouldn't have chosen to admire myself in the mirror naked, but walking everywhere during mat leave instead of sitting at a desk, and breastfeeding (obv not for everyone) meant that I was slim at least.

I would speak to someone about separated abdominal muscles though. PT specialising in post-baby stuff? Not sure who you'd go to as i didn't experience that myself, but know people that did very specific exercises and had special stretchy bands to help the muscles come back together.

Sorry, my third para sounded a bit smug. All I meant was that you can hide sagginess under clothes and be confident out and about at least.
I figured that only DH was going to see me naked, and he wasn't about to complain about the state of my naked body! (wouldn't have dared... )

Yeah I am saggy and flabby and everything points south. It is a bit disheartening but I think it is partly just genetics! My body looks almost exactly like my mums did .

I hated my post partum body.

I'm now 16 months post birth and I'm finally happy.

I put on 3 stone. Stretch marks. Skin tags. Boobs are completely different - I went from a G to an L cup back to a G cup! I just felt like a house. A big, fat house. I have shrink marks now all over. Stomach, hips, tops of my legs, boobs. They go white and clear when you shrink back.

5 months is still very early on. It'll take your body at least a year to recover. That's what I was always told. Give yourself a break. You have just done a fucking amazing thing with your body. Appreciate how much change your body has gone through... It's phenomenal.

Boobs - they take 6 months to return to sort of normal after you stop breastfeeding. The milk ducts gradually become replaced by fat cells again and they'll stop looking so deflated. They'll never look quite the same but they will improve from where you are now.

Tum - get to the PT as a PP said above. Self referral. Then look up Diastasis Recti online. There's videos for exercises you can do. Whatever you do don't do crunches . Alternatively, if you don't feel confident following the advice online just wait for the PT. Again, this is something you can work on and will improve in time.

Weight - another one that will take time. It's better to do it slowly. Make simple, easy, healthy meals. Bolognese sauce in the slow cooker. Spiralized veg for spaghetti. Etc. Download MyFitnessPal to help you keep an eye on your calorie intake.

It feels horrible this stage but you are still recovering. Try and bear that in mind. Do other stuff that makes you feel better when you can. I asked my OH to take DS whilst I did my nails or spent a bit long doing my hair and make up. Just made me feel a bit better in myself sometimes.

I didnt gain any weight during pg and I have the same as you - mum tum, saggy boobs and an outie belly button. I found great comfort in reading a lot of fat activism, particularly Sophie Hagen. Im not fat but the general concept of embracing your body and not trying to conform to the impossible beauty standards was a good thing to do. My body has produced 2 dc and is therefore fucking amazing.

I'm 5ft 2 too, and there was only one direction avaliable for 8lb 10 of baby to grow in! He had a large amount of fluid too, it's hardly surprising that my skin didn't take well to being stretched from a 26 inch waist to 43 inches. I ended up down to 8st 7 by the end of the nausea phase (despite bump) and piled on up to 13st by the final week in just 4.5 months because I'd struggled to move through nausea then SPD. A CS overhang is the finishing touch to my crimpline abs.

My bust did well for two journeys from B to F and back again. They are softer and less full than they were, but still pointing in roughly the right direction. Their size was very much dependent on quantity of BFing.

I wear bikinis and cropped exercise tops. A high waist hides the worst, but there is some soft loose skin above. I'm no model, but I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't have to hide away for the rest of my life just because my body is permanently altered by creating babies. It's normal. Why should I hide normal? I exercise and want to celebrate my body's achievements such as running half marathond. I've got the one body for life, so I'll make the most of what it is.

Closing the abdominal gap is important. It helps for aesthetics, but also restores strength and reduces the chance of injuries.

I hated the way I looked, I wasn’t particularly slim before, but everything had at least been firm, and I had a deflated stomach, empty boobs, and stretch marks everywhere. I also had the separation of my stomach muscles, so everything sagged forwards. My youngest is now 8, and mostly my body looks fine, my stomach will always be softer, and I’m a little thicker in the middle, even when I’m thinner than I was before. But my boobs recovered, the stretch marks fade and it’s all fine. I can’t remember at what point I stopped going ugh at my reflection, but it wasn’t recently, so you don’t need to wait 8 years! I guess what I am saying is mostly it will recover, and you get used to what doesn’t.

I think it took me about a year to feel like I actually looked nice again after my first baby. I lost the weight in a few months but I was disappointed to realise that even when the weight comes off you don't look how you used to, the distribution of fat around your body is different and clothes don't fit quite the same. I found I had to shop around a bit more and spend a bit more to find clothes that flattered me. Paying a bit more attention to things like my hair, make up and accessories also helped to make me feel better about myself while I was struggling to get the weight off and come to terms with the changes. I'm now pregnant with baby no 2 and I know that I'm not going to feel beautiful or sexy for some time after giving birth, that I'll probably want to hide my new shape in baggy clothes etc but I'm determined not to beat myself up about it or obsess over it this time.

Well you have a mum tum because you are a mum! My baby was 8lb12oz, I'm 5"4 and also gained about 3 stone during pregnancy. It took about a year for my stomach to look better, not the same as before but I didn't expect it too. You need to change your expections.
Are you having Physio for your stomach muscles ?

My stomach is ruined after a 10lb baby born by c-section. I’m covered in stretch marks and my tummy still isn’t flat or tight. I’ve just had to accept that I’m not pretty any more and this is my life now, I was one of the unlucky ones. It has improved since 5 months though, so there is hope that yours will get better.

I put a good 3 stone on too,ds is 4.5 yrs now and it took me a year to get back to a size 10 from a 14/16.I calorie counted using myfitnesspal which I still use now to maintain

I have separated stomach muscles too. They were a huge shock after a big first baby - you have to see a physio about them because they can do loads to help! After dd1 I did lots of physio, breastfed for 22 months and everything went back to relative normality... I am 20 months post-second baby now and everything is back in place aside from the blasted stomach muscles.

I think take heart, things will be different but not how they are just now.

Eventually I would say see a GP, find a postnatal Pilates class, buy the best underwear you can afford... and fully let yourself off the hook until at least 12 months after the baby. Focus on getting strong rather than looking good.
That said, I have a corset for special occasions because I’m terrified of being asked if I’m pregnant again...

It does get better honest. It's just time. Don't be disheartened.

Basically exercise is the key and a healthy diet, exercise basically tightens everything up.

Your baby is only five months old, so early yet, but when you have time try to factor in some exercise if you can, even if it's at home.

And don't be too hard on yourself. 💐

Thank you so much for the replies

You've given me hope that it does eventually get better. I just naively didn't expect to look so deflated after just one baby - and in my mid 20s.

I feel like we're just under so much pressure to bounce back quickly. I was asked all the time how much weight I'd lost or how my stomach was going down. I even got asked if I was pregnant again 2 months after I gave birth. I nearly cried!

I went to a physio about 6 weeks ago and he just told me to lose a stone. He even drew me a diagram about how you need to burn more calories than you eat in order to lose weight (obviously!) I came out feeling awful. Maybe I should look for a physio that specialises in DR?

It's just been such a shock! I knew I wasn't going to be back in my size 6 jeans straight away, but I just didn't expect my body to just be so different. PP was right, the fat distribution is just so different now.

I get what you mean exactly. The way I deal with it is not to look in the mirror unless clothed, but I'm only about as far post partum as you and hope it will get better in time!

I feel like we're just under so much pressure to bounce back quickly. I was asked all the time how much weight I'd lost or how my stomach was going down. I even got asked if I was pregnant again 2 months after I gave birth. I nearly cried!

People lose all sense of appropriate social boundaries where anything to do with pregnancy and birth are concerned. It's really intrusive of them to ask you about weight loss etc and the comments about being pregnant again two months pp are just ludicrous. Two months is nothing!
My MIL was forever making comments about my baby weight and it didn't help that both my SIL's magically bounced back to being tiny straight after having their babies. At first I got upset about her comments then I realised that it's actually pretty sad and pathetic to be so invested in someone else's weight and appearance.

It took you 40 weeks to grow a baby so don't worry at 5 months.There are videos for exercises suitable ora decent physio who specialises in post partum care.
Have healthy snacks in the fridge for those days when you don't seem to get chance to eat properly.
Don't beat yourself up about it,just take it easy,enjoy you baby and you will get there.Its with yet so test yourself to some snuggly jumpers,find a fabulous outfit for Christmas and remember that underneath our clothes all mothers gave a slightly rearranged body..
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Baby number 2 is just six weeks old and I had a c section this time. I'm in my early thirties. I've had two babies in two and a half years.

I have separated abdominal muscles too, though I'm starting Physio for this next week. Can you get referred? My babies were 8lb 9oz and 8lb 7oz so both on the bigger side.

Looks wise my tummy is stretched all over and really flabby now. Big purple scar from CS too. Boobs are huge and looking pretty saggy. I'm also chunkier all over, arms and legs are chubby. Basically I feel pretty fat right now!

On the plus side, hibernating at home for six weeks recovering from my CS has meant wearing hardly any make up and my skin is better than it has been in years. Plus my hair and nails are nice from all the pregnancy vitamins I took. I'm keeping up the vitamins because my baby is having my milk - I think I'll keep them up even after I stop feeding. They're obviously doing me some good.

Once I've got my six week check out of the way later this week I'm looking into a new gym membership. My body has conceived, grown, birthed and fed two small humans in the last two and a half years. It's never going to look the same again. But I can create a new body with a bit (a lot!) of hard work. When I have the energy that is.....

@mumbod3 what exercise are you doing? I started swimming again after 8 weeks and started gentle gym classes at 12 weeks. I also walked as much as i could wuth the pushchair as thats good exercise.

You need to help you body if you want to get back to near you pre-baby figure, it can't do it on its own.

Baby number three for me. I didn't gain too much weight throughout the pregnancy but definitely made up for it after he was born. I do it every time!
I'm at least two stone heavier than I'd like to be (though even after losing that, I'd still be large ish).
My belly is inexplicable and I didn't even have a c section. My boobs require scaffolding, not a bra and I've acquired some lovely varicose veins on my legs. I'm unhappy with how I look, but can't get motivated to sort my shit out. I keep thinking, well the baby doesn't care how much I weigh.....

I approached my GP about physio for my stomach muscles and she told me to “look on YouTube because the NHS doesn’t have the budget for cosmetic physiotherapy”.

I can’t go to the gym or swimming because I have a baby and can’t afford to pay a babysitter as well as paying for the gym. No idea how people manage it, especially if they’re still breastfeeding. The only exercise I’m able to do is walking with the pram. And I can’t cut my calories too much in case it affects my milk supply. I’ve had to accept that I might look this way for a year or two until I stop breastfeeding.