To ask about your post-baby body?

[mumbod3]

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today and need a bit of guidance...

For context, I'm in my mid 20s and am nearly 5 months postpartum and I look like a deflated balloon.

My fault entirely, I ate for about 15 during my pregnancy. I'd always been very slim (5'2 7st). Mainly because I had a high-stress job and pretty much survived on cigarettes and caffeine. I gave both up during pregnancy and replaced it with food instead! I ended up gaining about 3st in total.

I had a pretty big baby for my stature. She was 8lb 7 and even the midwife said that she was surprised that I'd had such a big baby.

I'm now left with separated abdominal muscles, which make me look like I have mum tum and my boobs are bloody awful. I take my bra off and they're honestly saggy and disgusting. I'm so ashamed of myself and I feel awful.

I know that I am blessed with a big healthy baby, but is there any advice from anyone who's been through similar?

I was 9.5 stone before my first. At the end of the pregnancy I was about 13 stone. Took me about 2.5 years to get the weight off steadily but was left with stretch marks and a small overhang.
I have four kids now and my younger three are very close in age, so not had time to lose the weight in between. I was just under 16 stone after the birth of my fourth child. I have lost about 2.5 stone and am on a diet now.
I had four c sections and have quite an overhang, I'm hoping it will go smaller with weight loss.
My boobs are ok, they are still big and full but probably not as perky as before kids. I've noticed my boobs sag more when I'm thinner, after children.
My main concern is my weight, I've come to accept stretch marks and the overhang, it's just part of me now as I'm not willing to have surgery.

I was similar height and weigh to you when I got pregnant. It gets better, my youngest is 3.5 I had a jelly tummy, huge nipples like saucers and large purple veins like a road map on my breasts for at least a year. I thought my boobs and stomach would never look like mine again but they do. My DS was 9 lb born.

*Weight

Mine is shit.
It works and I'm grateful but I've got separated abdominal muscles so i look pregnant from the side..... 12 years on.
My boobs went from b to dd and i hate them...12 years on.
I developed a large labial tag during pregnancy which I removed myself with much pain and rotten flesh.
Grim.

Oh you sound almost identical to me I’m 5’2 and was always slim (size 10) then I just ate and ate during pregnancy. I’ve got mumtum, stretch marks and boobs have sagged a bit. I haven’t really got my diet on track a year later on and I’m not doing enough excercise because I am exhausted. I feel like I am very slowly now a year later getting back to normal a bit. Emphasis on the slowly there 😟

Have you tried physio to fix your stomach muscle gap? It should help your core strength too if thats repaired otherwise i think alot of it is genetic. I was surprised how ok i look after having 1 kid at 35 i thought my age would have meant i was bolloxed. But since then alot of people have said its the second kid who does the damage.

I'm 41 and my body was back to normal within 4-5 months I reckon. However, I put on a lot of weight in my mid twenties and it turned out to be pcos so maybe get hormone levels etc checked if you think your body is getting back to normal.

@SputnikBear

I can’t go to the gym or swimming because I have a baby and can’t afford to pay a babysitter as well as paying for the gym. No idea how people manage it, especially if they’re still breastfeeding

Why can't your partner/parents/frienda babysit for an hour or so?

At my leisure centre its either £25 a month, or £4 a rime for swimming or gym or classes.

I breastfed, i used to feed baby, then go as knew i'd have a couple of hours before next feed. Used to leave a bottle of expressed just in case. Or i go once baby is in bed around 8ish

Not in the same boat as you but here’s my perspective:

I’ve always been overweight, being pregnant was the one time I looked the way I should and didn’t mind people touching my stomach. No stretch marks until about week 38 and I now have a “belt” of marks running perfectly across my belly button. I gained 2st 9lbs.

4 months pp now and I have lost just over 3st, but my tummy is puckered and indeed my boobs point to my toes, feel gross and look unimpressive. I just don’t really care though. The things I have got back that I missed are my waist and my collarbones, so I guess i’ll Make the most of them... and hope for a boob job in the future!

I did the MuTu system home workouts for diastasis recti. Found them repetitive but effective. I walked as much as possible. I didn’t change my diet at that time. I then moved onto generic fitness classes and swimming / jogging.

A key thing that helped me was finding regular time slots for exercise - ideally during the day (eg weekends, walking as part of the commute) and for planning, shopping and preparing simple, decent meals for myself.

Some kinds of exercise are to be avoided with diastasis recti, eg sit ups.

Weight loss is reportedly 80% about what you eat. I have done plenty of exercise for years but because of what I eat didn’t lose much weight. I do, however, feel much stronger, have more energy and feel better about my body.

I was 8.5 stone before pregnancy, post partum I was 11 stone and now 16 months on I'm down to 7.5 stone. I lost the weight due to being ill though.

Hate my body; skin is so loose, boobs are like soggy tea bags (pre pregnancy a C, went up to a G and now only an A), I've lost my bum completely and have stretch marks all over my thighs.

DH still says I'm beautiful and he does genuinely seem so excited and unable to contain himself around me still but I just can't look at myself

I was your weight and build when I got pregnant, i hated my deflated tummy and empty boobs but 18 months later I feel much better about myself, my body is not back to pre pregnancy but everything is definitely less deflated looking now, I still have much less boob than I used to but my tummy is fine and boobs can be fixed with a good bra.

A deflated tummy is exactly right. Weight wise I didn’t do too badly and only a few stretch marks that have now faded but if I bend over my tummy just hangs there

I’m going to just carry on with dieting and you tube videos for as long as the baby will tolerate watching me bob around

It’s rubbish but it’s just what happens unless you’re abbey Clancy

Why can't your partner/parents/frienda babysit for an hour or so
By the time DH gets home from work and we have dinner it’s too late for gym. PIL are busy running a business, parents are too old to babysit. No friends. I literally never get a break. If I did I’d probably go to sleep not to the gym haha!

Imo celebs have trainers and nutritionists while pregnant to keep their weight gain to the bare minimum that's safe. They get induced early to avoid late pregnancy stretch marks. And a lot of them have plastic surgery. Normal women can’t expect to look like them.

I had separated muscles after all three pregnancies. Dc3 is 5 months and it's not as bad this time, because I got into yoga two yrs ago and it helped close the gap a great deal.
This time around it wasn't as big and with daily yoga it's going back again.
Boobs are saggy from bf three kids, a good supportive and pretty bra helps me feel better about myself.
The hair loss and gaunt look I know will pass in time.
. Don't be hard on yourself, your baby is teeny. Have a multi vitamin a day, try to eat a bit better and look up exercises for separated abs or find a post natal pilatea or yoga group. Often they let you take baby with you.

5ft2. Due to health issues in the third trimester I didn't gain weight (or rather, I lost all gained weight).

However, everything redistributed to my bump. I have a short torso, so am riddled with stretch marks.

I'm only 8 weeks postpartum. I'm accepting somethings are just how it is now. But hoping to get some strength and tone back over the next year.

Hi op. I looked like an old carpet after pregnancy (I only have 1 child) but he's nearly 8 now and I don't think I look much different to before I had him, except my boobs are definitely now looking to the floor rather than the sky. I didn't really start dieting until he was 3 and by that point I was 3 stone heavier than pre-pregnancy. I'm now a stone and a bit lighter than I was pre baby. It does, with time and a bit of effort, sort itself out. Your body has been through immense trauma and you won't look or feel like yourself for some time; but it does get better.

@SputnikBear

I still breastfeed my 16mo DS and feed him to sleep. I dont go to the gym yet but eventually plan to pop him in the creche the gym has.

For now though, I do workouts at home when he's asleep upstairs. I feed him to sleep and then stick the baby monitor on. I can then keep an eye on him whilst I workout for 25 mins.

I do a workout programme called T25. It's tough but all you need. It's by a company called Beachbody. They do all levels of workout, some of them really fun. They start at beginner and go all the way to expert (insane level). T25 is about Level 3 so don't start with that if you've had a break or aren't used to high fitness.

Look 'em up if you're ever interested though. They contain nutrition guides as well usually. It could work for you when you're ready

@SputnikBear can you find a gym that's open later? Mine is open till 9pm, or theres loads of 24hr gyms.

I'l be honest, its going to take hard work to get your body back, and you attitude at the moment seems to be i can't do it.

Also, you need to make some changes, not ever having a break is not good!

I was around 10 stone before getting pregnant and put on about 5 stone during pregnancy.

Baby is now nearly 16 months and I'm only just starting to feel normal again.

C section hasn't helped.

The stretch marks are hardly visible now.

Boobs aren't quite the same but I didn't breast feed for long and they have kept some shape.

If I wasn't hoping for another child one day I would have booked myself in for cosmetic surgery by now

I put on four stone.... but I lost it in 6/7 months, breastfeeding, not eating rubbish and I found some mum and baby fitness classes as I had no childcare. I walked a lot and would go for a run once or twice a week.

It’s doable but you need to be consistent and stick at it.

I’m still breastfeeding so my boobs are awful but at least nice bras hide them!

I got a similar horrid shock OP. Felt I looked like a saggy elephant! After the birth I was 3st heavier and 4 sizes bigger. DC now almost 2 and I am starting to feel my body is nice again. Lost about 1.5st and dropped 2 dress sizes. I haven't dieted or gymmed it up. While bf my body seemed to hang on to every single calorie but after weaning and finally stopping the extra layer has been melting away. I think exercise would tone my tum and arms but I find motivation very hard.

Give it time, and in the meantime focus on your amazing body that built a whole human

Honestly I didnt even start to change body wise until about 6 months pp, before this it just seemed futile. Yes ask for the womens health physio to help with your DR or theres plenty of info online/excercise regimes. At just over a year im finally getting my shape back but I do excercise 1-2 times per week which I never had to do before. Youll get there x

OP you must go and see a women's health physiotherapist if you have diastsis recti (separation of tummy muscles), they are experts in the postpartum body. Most places you can self refer to the nhs service. No health professionally should be telling you to lose weight so early after having a baby - the priority is bonding/attachment - give yourself time!

There are specific post baby exercise classes which are good but again with DR be careful, you can do damage doing too much too soon

As for my body, post baby no 2 it looks like my stomach has melted and I'm 2 stone heavier years down the line 😭

Fat and saggy, scarred and lumpy.