To encourage my child to do an instrument before they ask?

[XyZhe]

Hi! Unsure if I'm unreasonable here. Our little boy is 4 (think he might still be too little?) they start music lessons (optional and obviously a charge) at school from 7+, but some outside of school start at 3! I think 3 is a little too little.

Is an instrument something you encourage and if so, at what age? Or do you wait until they ask?

What age did your children start?

Thanks!

DH is a music teacher. He won't take individual pupils before the age of seven, they don't have the concentration before that for half an hour's class and any less isn't worth his bother. He will do group music activities (simple percussion) from about four up though.

DS3 started violin at 3 and piano at 7. He is 8 now and only grade 5 on violin but already doing grade 4 on piano. The learning process is much quicker when they are older. On the other hand if he did not start violin so early he would not be able to progress on piano quickly, but because he already knew music theory and could read music learning piano was a breeze, at least in the beginning.

I‘m a professional musician. As LaDaronne says, before about 7 they do not have the concentration for classical one2one lessons. The best thing you can do for your child before that age is to make music part of the daily fabric of your lives - sing (and dance) with your child, play instruments or enjoy having music on. Successful early years methods like Suzuki or Kodaly are based on this idea, and parents are very involved. It is as important that somebody close to the child is doing the singing, as that the singing is happening, because music making is about a lot more than “just” music. Even if you are tone deaf, your small child will love your singing.

In exceptional cases children will announce early on they want to play instrument X. They will be usually be specific about which instrument and will not shut up about it. In that case you should organise what they want as they are probably gifted

DS could definitely concentrate for 30 min age 3. We decided against Suzuki because my older DS and DD both did it and were struggling with sight reading as a result. DS started with proper classical lessons and could read music before learning to read. It really paid off, he is amazing at music theory and always gets full marks in exams for sight reading. Though I feel he does not have as good musical ear as the other two.

I'd say 6 or 7. Surely they need to be able to read a bit before they start reading music? Both DCs started around this age, play in a band so a very social activity for them. They love band, not so keen on practice.

You don’t have to be able to read before learning to read music but what is dangerous is to see notated music as more important than other types of music making. Enormous amounts of fabulous music are performed by musicians who cannot read music, across the spectrum of jazz, world, traditional...they play by ear. Classical musicians can get so bogged down in reading that they forget to listen. Frequently I hear children playing songs completely unintuitively because all they are doing is reading. If I remind them that it’s a song they know and can they sing it, they’ll do so perfectly. When that happens, the business of reading has got split away from music for them and it’s important that the two are connected. So it helps if children already have a good bank of fun and intuitive music-making on which to draw. I find that much more useful than early-years theory although of course there is always the odd child who gets on well with this.

We started my son on piano at 3 (at hideous expense) - complete waste of time and money. We tried again at four and had the same experience. He started again in January of this year, just after he turned six. Completely different story. He's doing so well, reading music, playing with attention to rhythm and dynamic. We were so desperate to start him early and it was too much too soon for him. What we did do however was immerse him in as many musical experiences as possible and I think that was what was most beneficial between 3-5 years.

I’m a piano teacher and I select who starts at 4. I have found that the 4yo that can sit still for long enough can really progress in a way the older starters don’t. The older students are great and obviously there are those that ‘catch’ up more quickly, however if I start them at 4 all the slow process stuff such as reading music, rhythmic issues, generally understanding how it all goes together is done before they turn 6. I love that so much.

I would only use a teacher who has proven experience of teaching young dc. I say this from personal experience. When I hired a violin teacher for my 4 yo and he was like the korean teacher described by a pp, saying she wasn’t good enough etc I chose him on results but at the same time that wasn’t ok with me.

That could actually put your dc off music for life so ensure you can see your dc is coming out of their lessons happy. I often insist parents stay in the lessons as well at an earlier age but behind the student so they can just observe.

Oh and I started at 3 and was playing really nicely by the time I was 7. I enjoyed it though. I say to my students parents, give it a year if they’re digging their heels in and clearly not enjoying it, its time to rethink the situation. I proudly say none of my ‘ piano kids’ have left me and I’ve had some ten years plus and by the tome they’re teenagers they have a beautiful way to destress!

I think learning notation from an early age helps children to enjoy music more later, they understand better how it all comes together, can pick up notes and play a new tune independently, DS3 loves writing down his own little melodies, loves choosing music in music shop and trying new tunes at home. He can also play by ear, but I think it’s definitely an advantage (compared to his siblings) being able to play or sing a new piece without struggle.

A music school near us does introductory classes for young children. Each week, they explore and listen to a new instrument and they do some craft or colouring in, finishing with singing.

It might be worth checking in your area to see if anyone is doing this. It's ideal as a non-pressured introduction to music.

Hi, my DS (not particularly musical talented) started just before he was 6 with piano , I encouraged it to be honest but would never put pressure if he really wanted to stop. He is 9 and still plays.
When he started it was 15 min per lesson for quite a few weeks, then 20 and now 30, also made sure he had someone fun.
E.g he was struggling for a few weeks with a piece and he mentioned the teacher that he loves Harry Potter and he would like to play that tune, teacher found it for him and he was over the moon practicing.
Turns out he is dyslexic also, and reading music can be difficult at times but I am convinced that music has helped him a lot.
To learn music is a great thing!

I was 7 when I started playing cello and carried it on throughout school until I was 17. I picked up other instruments along the way and I sang in the choir.

I miss music and it's scary to think I've been away from cello for the same amount of time that I played!

I would always encourage small children to do as much music as possible.

I find it extraordinary how people wait to see if the child is interested before offering music - you would never say this about reading! I think everyone should have the chance to play music, it is life enhancing and improves brain function.

Of course it should be fun but there is always hard work to be done too, just like learning to read and spell. But it is so worth it.

I'm a piano teacher and my experience with very young pupils is that a lot depends on the support they have at home. If they have a parent who sits with them and helps them practise every day, they have a chance to make good progress (this is also why the Suzuki method works so well) but otherwise it will take very very long to reach a certain standard and by the age of 8 they would roughly be at the same level had they started at 6 or 7! So if you think you couldn't help your child at all it would probably be better to wait a few years with formal lessons until they are mature enough to practise completely on their own.

My D.C. have been taking kodaly since they were 2. I don’t know anyone who does IRL so wonder if I could ask.... do we need to continue the method post 5 once they pick up an instrument? It’s just that regular lessons would be so much more convenient

My youngest son started an instrument at 5. He’ll pick another one up at 7, and possibly two more at 8. He lives for music though, and he is more than happy to practice.

My older son likes the idea of music but is tone deaf and doesn’t like practicing, so doesn’t play at all. He enjoys listening though, which is no bad thing.

My daughter has been playing one instrument since she was 8, and is roughly grade 6 at 15, and plays in various ensembles with the youth service.

I’d encourage music early only if it suits the child. If they have aptitude and eagerness then I’d not stop them, music is ridiculously beneficial to brain function.

This can be difficult - if you wait for them, they may never ask, but if you push them too hard you may put them off. My wife is an opera singer and runs a private music school (in Azerbaijan) but my kids are not musical at all, possibly for this reason.

I think it's important to encourage kids to enjoy music by having it playing around the house frequently - classical and easy listening but probably not pop. When they come to have lessons some of the music they play will be what they heard.

Also have inexpensive instruments available to play with if they like - descant recorder, electronic keyboard (electronic because you can turn the volume down and full size so they get used to a proper instrument, but doesn't take too much space).

Another advantage of starting so early is practice becomes an integral part of their life like brushing their teeth. They can’t remember their life before not practicing and sort of accept it. My friends who started later often complain about their kids refusing to practice. DS is very stubborn and a bit lazy, but never argue about practicing his instruments or doing theory work.

I teach music and singing to all ages, as well as baby and toddler music classes.

I think your child is too little for classical one to one lessons. As PP have said I would find a teacher who will give “introductory” music lessons - all about developing musicality, fun games to learn notation, to develop their aural skills, and play some fun instruments too. As others have said, sing, dance, play percussion instruments. Get them interested in music and learning some of the fundamentals in a fun engaging way before they learn an instrument.

Also don't just give music to those who show immediate talent. Music is for everyone, not just the gifted.

I've read somewhere that learning musical instruments, especially piano(because uses both hands) have positive effect on the brain development in early years.

I wanted my ds to learn, but waited until he actually asked, so started quite late, at 8 years old.

We encouraged all our children with various instruments, but didn't force them.
Two turned out to be sporty and not into playing music, the other is at a school for gifted musicians.
The musical dc played violin from being 6.5 but before this was always singing and trying to pinch her dad's instruments. He's a professional as in it's his day job, doesn't have another. Hence, we are poor.

We have tried everything to put musical dc off, it's not a glamorous profession, but one she wants.

I think it's great if they enjoy it and the parents make it fun.
I don't believe in coaxing, bribing, etc. If it doesn't come from them, they could resent you and not enjoy music throughout their lives, which is surely counter productive.

Posted too soon, but must disagree with a pp who spoke about music helping Maths, mine will be lucky / very lucky to gain a level 4 in Maths.
yet studying post grad level music at 14.

Romany, I think it helps maths if you start them around 3 years old. The older they are the more resistant is their brain to change.